I have come to the realization that it is time for me to get on the healthy track because who wouldn’t want to be cute and sexy and fit in the clothes that have been hoarded in my closet long before the days of having babies? It’s a never ending cycle really…lose a few pounds, fit in those jeans you love (when I say fit I mean trying to jump into them from a second story window and then doing 20 or 30 squats to try and get them lose enough to breath) eating with such said jeans on, is of course, not an option. Then I decide that the jeans are over rated and so is this whole idea of trying to be skinny so onto the hanger go the jeans and off to the store in my favorite sweat or yoga pants I go to obtain all the beer, wine, and goodies that I can fit into one basket. The next morning the scale is my worst enemy and the cycle starts all over again.
So here I find myself at the gym again skimming through Pinterest while passing the dreadful 20 minutes of the treadmill when something catches my eye. What is this? A diet for 3 days that can help me lose up to 10 pounds!!! Is this for real? And of course in the midst of my excitement I find myself missing a step and having to push the emergency stop button on the machine. After recovering myself from complete and utter treadmill failure I continue to read about this glorious 10 pounds in 3 days diet…cause let’s face it anyone can stick to anything for 3 days right?
Well here I am in the middle of day two and the children are still alive and my husband,lucky for him, is getting ready to go to work. I haven’t had any caffeine which for this mother of 5 means that someone’s white shirt will soon be pink and the milk will switch places with the cereal and find it’s resting ground in the cupboard and at sometime before the end of day I will be shuffling around in a manner in which resembles one of those walker characters on the “Walking Dead”. I also am not allowed any alcohol which means after my long day of 3 toddlers when usually I would draw a bubble bath and pour a glass (very large glass in which holds half a bottle) of wine and slip into what feels like a small coma, instead I will be trying to find something to do, which lastnight consisted of thumbing through food recipes on Pinterest only to make me realize even more the sacrifices I am making for these 3 days.
Do I feel better? Have I lost any weight? Am I hungry? The truth is I have no energy and I am quite certain that I burned off every calorie consumed yesterday at the gym and couldn’t even finish my routine due to utter exhaustion. I refuse to get on the scale even though it feels like a giant elephant in the bathroom, and although I am not hungry, per say, every time I open the refrigerator I see every bit of everything that looks good including the wilted lettuce that is probably a day away from being mush which sits right next to the cold beer that looks like it has a light layer of frost on the bottle which I know is just my alcohol deprived mind playing tricks on me. But I go on looking forward to my next meal (although I don’t call two hotdogs and a cup of broccoli a meal) and in looking forward to I mean checking and rechecking the diet list for day two which never changes no matter how many times I look at it.