Be A Parent Not A friend

We as parents have all heard this term used many times yet I still read daily social media and find that parents aren’t listening to the true meaning behind this phrase.  I hear the cries of “My children don’t respect me” and “My kids are so ungrateful”…well why do you think that is?  You are the parent who is raising these kids to walk all over you therefore you have the power to change them!!!  You are a parent and not a friend means just that…stop worrying about whether or not your kids are going to hate you because at some point in their lives they are going to and that is when you know you have done your job right.  I am not saying that you need to be Hitler at raising your children but simply that if you feel like you need to put your foot down, then you probably do.

Let’s talk about chores for instance.  A child at the time they can walk can start out doing chores such as putting their toys away.  Gradually as they develop and grow you can give them more responsibility.  Don’t think that because you are the parent that you have to wait on them hand and foot.  Doing so only turns kids into loathing 25 year olds still living at home with mommy and daddy because anything less would be….well just that…less.  Work ethic to them is succeeding at the latest level of their current video game addiction or how many followers they have on the latest social media network.

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I often wonder about the parents who just simply “check out” of their kids “checking in” to the real world,  like it is some sort of inconvenience to raise what they have brought into this world.  Letting them do what they want, just because it seems easier is not an option.  Do I as a parent pick my battles? Of course I do but I always make sure my kids know that I still have the upper hand and that at any given moment I can change the life that they have become so accustomed to.

As a society of parents let’s do each other a favor…TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!  It’s ok to tell them no and send them to their room or a time out to the nearest corner, whichever you prefer.  It’s ok to take their prized possessions, aka cell phones, tv, game systems, designer clothes, and social life and media away from them.  As a matter of fact I encourage this.  You can be their friend after they have moved out, paid their own way, and started a life of their own.  Tough love is not a term used for describing getting your heart broke.  It means loving your children but still knowing when it is time to take hold of the reigns, put your foot down, and not give into their never ending wants(NOTICE I SAID WANTS NOT NEEDS).  Being a parent means having to be “mean” sometimes and always being one step ahead of your children’s actions…it’s ok…life will go on and the less menaces to society we have running around…the better.

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Domesticated Momster

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

22 thoughts on “Be A Parent Not A friend”

  1. This is so true! And some of the friend parents look at me like I’m so hard on my kid, but I just demand a certain amount of respect from her. Very well said!

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  2. Well said! Sometimes I feel really guilty when I don’t give in to my toddler’s demands but I know it’s for the best. She not like me but I’m sure she’ll love me for it when she’s older. Or at least I hope so.. Thanks for hosting #momsterslink

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    1. It is so hard being stern mommy sometimes and I know there will be times I’m going to hear “I don’t like you, mommy” but they will still respect me. Thanks for saying hello and linking up with me 🙂

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  3. I love this post, I couldn’t agree more. We really struggle with this with my stepson because his mom has always played the friend card instead of being a parent and now he acts so entitled to everything. When we try to be parents he says we make him miserable and my husband tends to give in because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. Then I am the mean parent because I hold him accountable and don’t baby him. It’s so frustrating.

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    1. Ugh it’s so hard being a step mom isn’t it? My 15 year old stepson thinks he constantly needs to compete with me and I’m not even competing! Drives me crazy. Love the kid but I keep hoping that he will just mature out of that attitude of his. His mom is a complete loser and has no rights thank goodness. Thanks for popping over and reading 🙂

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  4. This is a GREAT post. This right here – As a society of parents let’s do each other a favor…TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN!!! I feel like I see so many parents that need to be banged over their heads with this statement every single hour of every day. You know what, if you’re not going to BE a parent, then don’t become one. #momsterslink

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  5. It would be so good if all parents could do this! I don’t get those people who feel they have to be their kids’ best friend. I mean, you obviously treat your kids nice and with respect, but that doesn’t mean you don’t discipline them either. I am certainly a parent to my son, but I have fun with him too. He does know where he stands if he has been naughty though.

    #momsterslink

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  6. Yup I totally agree! Parents need to set the rules for their kids from the time they are very young. I think parents who don’t end up with kids that don’t listen, and it’d be harder to get things under control the older the child is. Great post. And thank you for hosting #momsterlink x

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  7. Completely agree… today Monkey refused to put his toys away. He’s just about to turn three and thinks the best game is to turn everything out and then sit there while you put it away… not anymore. I gave him three warnings put your toys away or I will put them in the bin. He thought I was joking. I was not. Okay so I picked the small trashy magazine toys put swiftly dumped them in the bin. Funnily enough as I advanced on the dusty toys (his favourite and I wouldn’t really put these in the pin) he started tidying up… mission accomplished. Yes a little mean, but he hasn’t asked for the plastic trash so its not as if he was attached to it 🙂 result two birds with one stone. Thanks for hosting #momsterlink x

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    1. Love it! It’s hard being “mean mommy” sometimes but so needed for our children to know who’s boss …I have started a trash bag as well…at Christmas I will take the “trash bag” toys and wrap them and give them to them as Christmas gifts :)) BOOM saves mommy and daddy money and they get their toys back 🙂

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