Exploding Diapers

I am on my third child to be potty trained and may I also add to that the fact that I have been changing diapers for 5 years straight…yes you read that right 5 years and 3 toddlers later I am finally seeing the light at the end of the large trail of diapers.  I have seen explosive, poop up the back and down the leg diapers.  I have seen diapers so soaked that they have then soiled through to the bottom half of clothing in a matter of literally a one hour car ride.  I have dealt with diaper rashes, 3 boxes of 3 different sized diapers, many trips to Costco and the late night emergency runs to the local drug store because one of the 3 over sized boxes had some how mysteriously ran out without anyone noticing.  I have changed diapers in the mini van (which could someone please tell me why they have not come up with a pop up changing table in mini vans?) in 115 degree weather bent over and sweating like I have just run a 5K.  I have even changed a diaper while my child had to lay on the ground because there was nothing for me to lay her on due to the fact that we were at an amusement park at closing time.

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This is me in so said amusement park during operating family bathroom hours.  Yes my husband and I might have been a bit crazy to take 3 babies in diapers to an amusement park but what the hell?  Our teenage sons had fun.  And luckily for them they were racing around trying to get every possible last ride in while my husband and I were sitting at our last buffet styled extravaganza hoping to just put an end to a very crazy day that we had already had….but wait….our adventures weren’t quite over because my (one year old at the time) had just decided to crap while sitting in a high chair “luckily” at a table outside.  And when I say crap I don’t mean JUST a shitty diaper…we are talking the kind of shit that makes any person within a 100 foot radius run for the hills…IT WAS EVERYWHERE!!!  Had she of possibly made a noise while she was taking said crap I might have been able to catch it before it was too late but nope it wasn’t until the over powering smell finally made contact to my nose that I knew what was happening and by then it was just too late.  As I looked at my husband in utter disbelief I kept hoping that maybe it was just a really bad case of gas…but then…I reached over…pulled the shirt up and the diaper back…only I didn’t even get to the diaper part because the shit had literally traveled EVERYWHERE!!! It was even layered upon the high chair.  The first thought that came to mind was “WHERE IS THE NEAREST HOSE”!!!  Now let’s rewind to the fact that she had already soiled through every piece of clothing that we had packed in her diaper bag that morning therefore there was nothing left but diapers.  And then came the fact that we had to use every wipey left in the bag.  Now we were down to scavenging for every last napkin left on any table within our reach…then it was frantically looking for ANYTHING that could possibly clean this catastrophic shit up!!!  We couldn’t lay her on the table because I was so afraid of the table not being sanitized before the next day of families ate there therefore the ground on that little tiny piece of changing cloth that they put in diaper bags (why is that?) was our only option.  After trying to sanitize the high chair with hand sanitizer and napkins we gathered up our belongings and raced out of their as fast as we could carry ourselves, 3 babies, and all of our gear.  The boys of course somehow caught up with us just in time of it all being over.

The best thing I can say about that day and that moment is that my husband and I came together and worked as a team and later laughed about it like crazy.  And still to this day it is a story that will live on in this family for years to come…sorry my dear Mazel.

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

21 thoughts on “Exploding Diapers”

  1. Funny! I have been there, done that. Back in the mid-60s I had a nine-year-old, and four other kids under five years. (Yep, I DO owe the oldest daughter– big time.) I washed diapers every day for seven years….and that was before disposable diapers. Even if they had had them we wouldn’t have been able to afford them. OK, I’ll own up to the fact that kind people got diaper service for me (for a short time.)

    Here’s another diaper story. My youngest grand-daughter is now 18, and so far she had avoided any baby sitting gigs. Her maiden voyage into baby sitting included an
    exploding diaper, the kind that soaks everything and everyone in gagging-quality poop. Fortunately the baby ‘s older sister, who is eight, had had at least observer experience. 😷

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I was much older then my half brother and sister…by 7 and 9 years …therefore I was always helping with the diaper duty…probably a great form of birth control for me…It’s funny though that if I watch a friends child, who is still in diapers, I pray that they don’t poop while in my care, something about other people’s kids poops frightens me…lol….but when it came to changing my own children’s diaper it didn’t matter if it got ON me…never really phased me too much and believe me I had one that liked to poop during naps and then decorate the walls with it.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Earlier in the day she was in a pack on her dad’s back and she peed all over him and a change of clothes. Luckily the poop explosion happened at the end of day cause I had ran out of clothes and had to dress her in her big brother’s clothes. Thanks for reading and commenting 🙂

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  2. Wow, 5 solid years is a lot of butt wiping and poonamis. Why is it only when you are out with limited supplies that this happens? We never have three poop explosions at home. What is that??

    #brilliantblogposts

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh my. I’ve heard of tandem nappy changes which I thought sounded ridiculous. It takes at least four hands and a knee for us to change our one baby, I can’t imagine trying to tackle multiple babies at the same time.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. And what I have never understood is why there aren’t built in pop up diaper changing stations in minivans…I spent many changes hunched over in 120 degree heat changing shitty diapers….cussing all the way…they need built in vacuums too! Lol

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      3. Yes. We’d quite like one for our little car too. Although I’d settle for more in toilets out here. I’ve gotten pretty adept at changing him on my knees though. I only get poop on my shorts or legs sometimes…

        Liked by 1 person

      4. I hated when we would be somewhere and there was only one in the women’s restroom …like come on people it’s a day and age where daddy’s change diapers too! I’ve had poop on everything I own! Lol

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  3. Poo stories are always funny :). I am so lucky my toddler has shit explosions rarely. I have observed some hell hole shit problems from other parents when we have been out in public though. I really feel for them…..but then thank my lucky stars it’s not me 🙂

    #brilliantblogposts

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