Go To F%*king Sleep!


This video is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and is hilarious!  But be advised do not watch it with your kids in listening distance.  The F bomb is used with no caution.

Last night was yet another bad bedtime night. Over the weekend my sister slept in my son’s room while I put my son in with his sisters since the youngest has a bottom bunk full size mattress.  Well now for some reason my son has decided that he wants to slumber in his sisters room every night.  This wouldn’t be such a problem except that the shenanigans are worse when all three are in one room. kid sleep cartoon

First it’s the trying to get them all settled into where they are going to sleep…which bed…what blanket…how many pillows etc.  Then comes the harrowing decision of what movie to watch (yes I let them watch tv before bed not only for their sanity but for mine as well). I try to have them take turns each night but of course once night time rolls around they have forgotten who got to pick the night before and as far as either of them are concerned, it’s their turn.  By this time mommy needs another glass of wine. I get them all tucked in and head off to enjoy my “mommy” time.  I no more then get settled into comfort when I hear the horseplay from across the house.  So I yell in my momster voice, “Go to bed!!!” Silence.  But it’s only momentarily. So again I yell.  And again they are quiet but only for a moment.  By the third time I am up, and the outlook is so not looking good for them or me.  I storm into the bedroom as they all freeze and present to me their dastardly stares.  Not deer in headlights but more like “why are you interrupting our monkey business mom?” looks.

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So now the threatening begins. I am yelling and mumbling anything that comes to mind in order to get them to lay down again.  They scurry about to find their places and once again I turn the light off and leave the room. Now sometimes I am just too tired to care what goes on after I close the door and wonder to my own room.  I figure where they fall asleep is where they will sleep for the entirety of the night.  Because let’s face it…as long as they aren’t in my room jumping on me anymore I could care less that they are jumping on each other in their own rooms.  I have went into check on them to find them all huddled up in a pile on the floor…asleep…and yes I leave them there.

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So finally after losing my shit, threatening their lives and all the lives of their stuffed animals, my children have once and for all settled for the night.  And once again I sit and try to enjoy the time I have left before having to tape my eyelids open. images-2

Problem is that then I sit and start to feel guilty about yelling at them before sending them off to dreamland.  I wonder if sometimes when they wake in the middle of the night crying it’s because they have visions of my wrath branded into their tiny little minds.  When my daughter says there’s a monster in her room if she isn’t just having flashbacks of me trying to get them to go to bed.  So off I go into their rooms to gently kiss their foreheads and cover them up, wherever they may lay.  The new day comes and they still think I hang the moon and I tell myself that tonight it will be better…and low and behold…sometimes it is. On the verge of mommy dearest,

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67 comments

  1. Just love these stories, I remember those days. Cherish them because the day comes when they hardly be in the same room together. Love love to here children laughing and playing even if it’s bedtime.

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  2. I feel your pain right now!! I have just had a scenario just like this. I have sooo much to do 😦 Fast asleep now phew! Very funny blog thank you for linking #snotallaboutyou

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  3. There have been times when my daughter has still been arsing around at eleven or midnight trotting up and downstairs and to the bathroom or reading or whatever. We live with my parents and it got to the point where we all got so tired and worn down, because you do need some time on your own in the evenings, that they said half nine was the latest and she ekes it out even now but 10 is better than midnight. For her own health and wellbeing if I could make it happen I would want her in bed for 8 or half eight at the latest. One of our relatives who is 12 is in bed by 9.

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    1. That would be my youngest daughter…if she naps during the day she’s up and wondering around well past her bedtime …makes every excuse she can …drives me batty! Thanks for popping over and saying hello :))

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  4. Oh I feel your pain, my youngest always finds an excuse to get out of bed and drives me insane. Then after lots of arguing and yelling I finally get him to bed. I feel so guilty for getting frustrated with him.

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  5. This is like every night in my house, my girls share a room an since it has started to get brighter they just won’t go to sleep until around now, I’m sitting in my room across from them in the dark cause I for fed up shouting up the stairs at them lol #mummymonday

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  6. I always feel insanely guilty if I leave my one angry (one, note, I think my head would have exploded with three!). I always creep in and say night night but the whole time really really hoping that he doesn’t wake up! Great story, hope the room shenanigans have calmed down by now. #bigfatlinky

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    1. The guilt is awful!!! I feel like a raging lunatic in the midst of it and then I just want to hug and kiss them and tell them how sorry mommy is that I yelled. Hate it. But as mothers sometimes it just happens. It has calmed down a bit since making the decision to take the TV out of the room. Now they have no choice but to lay there and go to sleep.

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  7. I wish my son wanted to slumber in his sisters room. It’s where his bed is 😉 but since we moved her in there when she was nine months old he will no longer sleep in there and will only sleep in my room.
    Also, you’re a very brave lady because my mummy guilt wouldn’t have been enough to go back in to give them a kiss and risk waking them lol
    #twinklytuesdays

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  8. We bought that book as a baby shower gift once. It was a huge hit! My twin daughters sleep in the same bed still, and the rule is that they can “silly around”, as we call it, for 15 minutes after lights out.

    Thanks for linking with #TwinklyTuesday.

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    1. I just love the way that Samuel L. Jackson narrates it…so damn funny! I am to the point now that as long as the 3 of them stay in their room and don’t come bother me that I am good. They usually konk out by 10 and then I get lucky cause they will sleep later. Of course that will all change when school starts. Thanks for popping over and saying hello!

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  9. No worries, they’ll never remember and even if they do they’ll know you were telling them off for doing something they weren’t supposed to. Nice that they want to be together though. My brother and I were always at eat others throats and would have never wanted to sleep in the same room

    #anythinggoes

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  10. Pretty much sounds like our house when the older three are sleeping in one room. The girls still try to crawl across the hall some nights and try to act like they can’t see us or hear us tell them to get their lil butts back in bed.

    #anythinggoes

    Kristen

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  11. OMG! I feel your pain! Just over the weekend I went off on my boys because they were fighting over Skylanders. I picked up a few of them for my oldest, who uses them to play a video game on his ipad. My younger likes Skylanders too but he chose to get something else this weekend so Adam let him play with them for most of the day on Saturday. When Adam wanted them back, however, Conner (being a typical, selfish 8 year old) wouldn’t give them back. Having been the oldest of four and having to share all of my toys as a kid, I understood Adam. Three times Adam asked for them back, then I asked Conner to give them back and he started talking back to me. I flipped a lid and started yelling. I hate when I get like that. I talked to them later about it and I still feel guilty for yelling and screaming, even though they still love me. FYI: I let me boys watch TV at night too. You’re not alone. Great post! Thanks for sharing!!

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    1. Because it’s summer time I let them watch TV in the living room and makes forts out of the couch to sleep in. Sometimes they are still awake at midnight and I am a zombie waiting for them to finally conk out (I have a hard time going to sleep if I know they are still awake) It’s not all the time but I just want them to have fun and enjoy their childhood but then when I say bedtime at normal time in their own beds it’s a huge fight and it makes me so angry! I try to explain it all to them but they are toddlers and to them it’s just “mommy being mean” That was nice of Adam to have let Conner borrow his stuff. That happens once in a blue moon around here lol.

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      1. I hear ya on being awake while they’re awake. My kids are older and I still get that way with them. Sometimes though I end falling asleep despite it all. Conner lives building forts in my house out of ANYTHING he can get his hands on. My living is almost NEVER clean. Lol

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  12. hanks for sharing. It’s hard enough trying to get the cubs to settle at the moment and one of them’s still confined in a cot. I dread to think how difficult it will be once they’re older and sharing a room!

    #AnythingGoes

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    1. At one time I had two in cribs in a room and the other was an infant in a buggy in our room. The two that were in cribs though used to move their cribs across the floor so that they could crawl into each others and play instead of sleep. It was cute but frustrating. When we moved a year ago we had a house built with enough bedrooms for everyone but they all still want to sleep together. I will put the girls to bed in their room and my 5 year old in his only to wake up and find them all piled in the same room. I hope they are always so close. I don’t have relationships with my siblings and I think it has to do with our age difference. That’s why I had mine so close together. Thanks for popping over and saying hello from #AnythingGoes!

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  13. Your references to wine make me feel happy. Your references to bedtime just not happening make me feel tired and your references to the normality of it all make me feel … Well, normal! Fab post xx

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    1. I don’t think there’s a parent on the planet that hasn’t felt completely helpless at bedtime a time or two or 50. From after dinner until bedtime is the roughest parts of my days. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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  14. It is so tough when they don’t sleep. We need our own time and our own sleep. I sometimes hearing them talking together and I shout up to enquire if they are in their own rooms and I hear one child running down the hall then a ‘Yes’ as reply. !!!

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