This video is narrated by Samuel L. Jackson and is hilarious! But be advised do not watch it with your kids in listening distance. The F bomb is used with no caution.
Last night was yet another bad bedtime night. Over the weekend my sister slept in my son’s room while I put my son in with his sisters since the youngest has a bottom bunk full size mattress. Well now for some reason my son has decided that he wants to slumber in his sisters room every night. This wouldn’t be such a problem except that the shenanigans are worse when all three are in one room.
First it’s the trying to get them all settled into where they are going to sleep…which bed…what blanket…how many pillows etc. Then comes the harrowing decision of what movie to watch (yes I let them watch tv before bed not only for their sanity but for mine as well). I try to have them take turns each night but of course once night time rolls around they have forgotten who got to pick the night before and as far as either of them are concerned, it’s their turn. By this time mommy needs another glass of wine. I get them all tucked in and head off to enjoy my “mommy” time. I no more then get settled into comfort when I hear the horseplay from across the house. So I yell in my momster voice, “Go to bed!!!” Silence. But it’s only momentarily. So again I yell. And again they are quiet but only for a moment. By the third time I am up, and the outlook is so not looking good for them or me. I storm into the bedroom as they all freeze and present to me their dastardly stares. Not deer in headlights but more like “why are you interrupting our monkey business mom?” looks.
So now the threatening begins. I am yelling and mumbling anything that comes to mind in order to get them to lay down again. They scurry about to find their places and once again I turn the light off and leave the room. Now sometimes I am just too tired to care what goes on after I close the door and wonder to my own room. I figure where they fall asleep is where they will sleep for the entirety of the night. Because let’s face it…as long as they aren’t in my room jumping on me anymore I could care less that they are jumping on each other in their own rooms. I have went into check on them to find them all huddled up in a pile on the floor…asleep…and yes I leave them there.
So finally after losing my shit, threatening their lives and all the lives of their stuffed animals, my children have once and for all settled for the night. And once again I sit and try to enjoy the time I have left before having to tape my eyelids open.
Problem is that then I sit and start to feel guilty about yelling at them before sending them off to dreamland. I wonder if sometimes when they wake in the middle of the night crying it’s because they have visions of my wrath branded into their tiny little minds. When my daughter says there’s a monster in her room if she isn’t just having flashbacks of me trying to get them to go to bed. So off I go into their rooms to gently kiss their foreheads and cover them up, wherever they may lay. The new day comes and they still think I hang the moon and I tell myself that tonight it will be better…and low and behold…sometimes it is. On the verge of mommy dearest,