After The First Child

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I remember when my little B was born…like it was yesterday.  We brought him home from the hospital and I was so batshit crazy protective of him that I wouldn’t even let his older brothers carry him in the car seat carrier.  Like somehow I just had this overwhelming anxiety that they were going to drop him and kill him.  I remember taking him to one of their basketball games and I swore I could see the germs floating in that gymnasium.  I even googled to see if it was even safe for my 2 week old baby to be out in public.

One morning I was getting ready to leave the house with him and at the time my husband and I did not have a bed frame, just a mattress of the floor.  Little B was laying on the mattress and somehow had wiggled himself around enough to where he slid down blankets and onto the floor.  He didn’t even cry until I was standing over him with a OH SHIT beyond shocked look on my face.  As soon as he saw that I was upset it caused him to be upset.  He was fine but all day I kept checking him…wouldn’t let him go to sleep, never once let him out of my sight.  The paranoia was overwhelming.  I kept thinking to myself…”Am I a crazy mom or is every mother like this with their first child?”…

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…fast forward to baby #3…

By the time little Z came into the world I was an expert.  I realized that having a beer or a glass of wine wasn’t going to taint my breastmilk.  I knew how to change a diaper with one hand tied behind my back.  When she started to crawl I didn’t mop the floor every 30 minutes thinking that she was going to contract some strange flesh eating bacteria and if her pacifier fell on the floor then I just ran some water over it and gave it back to her without boiling it in a pot on the stove for 10 minutes.  And guess what?   She survived!!!

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Little Z has also become independent a lot faster then my first two.  She hasn’t been in a high chair since shortly after her one year birthday.  She refused to sit in one since her brother and sister were sitting at the table.  And she learned how to prop herself up on her knees to be able to reach.  She was also using utensils.  I remember taking her for a well check and the pediatrician being shocked that she new how already.  Funny thing is I didn’t teach her…she taught herself by watching the others.  When she falls down I tell her she is fine and to just get back up.  I still kiss the boo boo because somehow mommy’s kisses fix everything but once that is done she is up and running again.

Potty training my other two took some time as well and they wore diapers to bed for quite some time after they had learned to use the potty all throughout the day.  But not little Z…she caught on so quick and one night while in the midst of potty training I had ran out of diapers and it was late and I didn’t feel like going to the store so I put her to bed in her undies.  And to my surprise she was dry the next morning…and the morning after that…and so on.

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In answering my own question…yes I do think as mothers we are a bit coo coo crazier after we have had our first child and by the 3rd you just rub dirt on the situation. These days I only get frantic if there is blood involved.  And even then a band-aid and mommy’s kisses make it all better.  Well except for the other day when my daughter stepped on a piece of glass and it got stuck in her foot and I had her sit on the couch until daddy got home because as I attempted to get it out…I almost fainted.

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

34 thoughts on “After The First Child”

  1. Actually, some will probably call me a terrible mother for “confessing” this, but I have only one child and I have not experienced that paralysing fear. And quite frankly, I hope it doesn’t start.

    Sure, I do take precautions – and especially so when she was smaller.

    She is still raised at home, partially because of more reliable care – and earlier due to my concern for contagious pathogens.
    But as her immune system “calibrated”, I stopped using the Miltons and just used regular dish-washing liquid for bottles. I don’t panic every time she goes outside and wants to stick a leaf into her mouth.
    I never used a micro-wave, but I saw this as prudent risk-management practice, not panic.
    I never drank while pregnant, or when I was exclusively breast-milk-feeding (first six months). Now, I’ll have a cider or two on occasion if I am going to be formula-feeding (I still breast-feed).

    She is turning one soon and she already does not want to be fed. So I am becoming very creative at finger foods that she can eat herself. She picks up and holds her own bottle (for formula), climbs onto my lap and insists on being satisfied if she wants breast milk, drinks water or diluted juice from her sippy cup – that is when she doesn’t insist on drinking from our glasses.
    She climbs up and down beds.
    In fact, most of the time, she does whatever she pleases.
    I hope that I am at least smart enough to pick my battles. 🙂

    I honestly think that a lot of the panic is due to the expectations new mothers are subjected to.
    Everyone thinks that they have the right to criticize your choices. And they don’t.

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    1. My first child kind of led the way of how I was going to adapt with my second. On his first birthday…like literally the day…I washed every bottle and put them out of his sight and he never had another bottle after that. I was pregnant with my second then and I thought for sure that maybe after she was born and he saw her with “his” bottles that he would want them too but he never did. I breast fed him for six months (until he got teeth)…I was breastfeeding my second baby when I got pregnant with my third and my doctor told me I had to quit breastfeeding. Which squashes the wives tale of not being able to get pregnant while breastfeeding…I didn’t even have a period between the birth of my second and getting pregnant with my third. So I think by the time the third one got here I was living moment to moment filled with chaos and no time to focus on only one child. Glad to hear that not everyone is crazy with their first child and I know a few who only have an “only” child that eventually “let go” of the worrying so much.

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    1. yes the yeast in the beer helps to produce the breastmilk…they also have little testing strips that you can test your breastmilk after you have been drinking to see if there are traces of alcohol…sold at most baby supply stores….my doctor always told me that if I was drunk then my milk was drunk….but yes one beer or one glass of wine is fine

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  2. You are educating the masses with this post, Trista – I was just the same way! So paranoid with my first & super relaxed for the third. It’s amazing what a little knowledge, experience & confidence will do for you!! I’m glad you didn’t pass out! #momsterlink x

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  3. This is completely normal!!! All first time mothers suffers the same because they don’t have a clue what is going on. There is no way we can change that as every first mum will need to experience it on their own. When the second comes things are completely different. I’m much more relax because I learned that the world is not going to end! LOL I understand completely how you feel!! Great post Trista!! 🙂 xx
    #momsterslink

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  4. I’m my yes! I was as you said, “bat shit crazy” (I know you crossed that out but I love that phrase. lol) with my first! Damn! Even though he wasn’t much of a sleeper, sometimes I think I started it by always picking him up when he was sleeping because I was paranoid of SIDS! By the time my second came around, five years later, I was all like, “You fall down? You’re alright. Brush if off baby, brush it off!” Great post Trista! Visiting from #momsterlink

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  5. I’m a little neurotic, so I was obsessed with first & very slightly better with second! I agree that younger kids often seem to pick things up quickly as they copy the older ones. I do recall someone telling me once that with your first kid you sterilise everything, with the second you wash stuff, and you just let the third & all their belongings roll in dirt! #momsterlink

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  6. I drove 30 mph on the way home from the hospital. Now Iwonder if 4 is too young to learn to drive. We can only stay that overprotective for so long without raising a bunch of Bates kids

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  7. The potty training thing is crazy amazing! Little Z was literally trained overnight! That’s every mother’s wish come true. Lol! I only have one child, but I can totally see how things would be easier and you become less paranoid (I was also THAT mom) with each little one that you add to the family. Great post! xx #momsterslink

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  8. Wiggling off the bed is a milestone, right? My paediatrician asked me when our first was about 6 months old if he’d fallen off the bed yet, and I said “yet?”, and she said, yeah, they all slip off sooner or later. Made me feel a bit better when he actually did slip off! He did the same thing as yours, that look of shock like “how could you let this happen?!” but only cried when I did. Great post! #momsterslink

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  9. I drove 30 mph on the highway home from the hospital, ( because its safer, don’t you know ) now I wonder if 4 is too young to teach her to drive herself. Its not a 2nd kid thing so much as an exhaustion thing. You can only be so overprotective before you start raising another Norman Bates

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  10. What a great post! I was super protective in the first few months but since Emma turned 1 I’ve become more and more relaxed. I happily rinse off or sometimes brush off dummies that have fallen on the floor and when she falls over I just say ‘up you get’ 🙂 #momsterslink

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  11. I’m still on child # 1 and everyone around me keeps telling me I’ll be way more relaxed by the time baby #2 rolls around. I was insanely protective of Lilly when she was younger but now that she’s almost 2? Let’s just say that her rolling around on the living room floor where everyone walks with their shoes on doesn’t send me int panic attacks anymore 😛

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