As little girls we grow up watching all those romantic fairytales where prince charming shows up with a shoe that fits just right or that kiss that wakes the princess from a deep long sleep. I don’t know about you but I have yet in my 41 years of life to have ever met or known anyone of the opposite sex who meets any of that fairytale “Mr. Right” criteria.
I have been married for over 6 years but together for almost 7. Not sure if we are experiencing the 7 year itch but our fairytale is more like “The War Of The Roses” at times. (At times meaning every once in awhile not all the time) Fuck the glass slipper because I wear flip flops and if I am sleeping please oh please do not wake me up. And now as adults all the animated movies from our childhoods have been replaced by movies that are so out of touch from reality. You all know which ones I am talking about where “Mr. Right” always has the perfect things to say and does all the right gestures. I mean let’s face it…what man in his unemotional right mind is going to write 365 letters to the same woman? Or hire a prostitute and then show up to rescue her from the cruel world? Don’t get me wrong I love a good romance but they are so delusional.
In real life there are ups and downs in every relationship. In the beginning it is all fresh and new and the butterflies are fluttering and everything smells good, tastes good, feels somehow superior to how you felt before “that person” came into your life. Time goes by and you both get comfortable…both put on a few pounds…and everything that was once so perfect and indestructible is now a pile of rubbish. ((picks a piece of the rubbish up and clips it to the fridge reminding herself to work on that particular aspect of her relationship)) Over time (some less then others) you both decide it is time to either take the plunge or run for the hills.
In walks marriage…
They say love is blind but I have found that marriage is a true eye opener. It’s something that needs to be polished from time to time like fine silver. You can’t just put it in a box somewhere and think that it’s going to be pretty and shiny when you need to use it. True couples disagree with one another and argue…some even argue just to make up. And the couples who say they never fight are LYING!!! And I don’t trust them. I am a true believer that slight disagreements from time to time are healthy for a relationship. I mean who wants to just agree to avoid an argument all the time? Not this girl…I have tried that and ended up only hurting myself. I am a person of expression and when you make me mad I stand up and let you know. And when you make me sad, I cry. Needless to say this doesn’t always go over well with my husband who is one that really doesn’t like to argue and he has no clue as to how to handle crying. But he is also one who thinks he is right about everything and no one has a word in otherwise.
Now as a woman there is once a month that I become somewhat impaired emotionally. Oh who am I kidding…I become a complete crazy and emotional bitch!!!
My emotions are everywhere and even though I know and he knows that it’s time….neither of us can control it. Which brings me back to the fairytales…they never mentioned anything about PMS in the fairytales I grew up on. Maybe they should have had Cinderella miss the dance because she was home with a heating pad and a bottle of ibuprofen and when prince charming showed up he should have brought chocolates.
Now bring kids into the equation…
Kids change the entire dynamic of a relationship. Being selfish is not an option anymore. You must work harder at the relationship because there are little people relying on you to stay together. Walking away is not an option. Well unless you are just so completely miserable that staying together would be a lethal dose of amalgamation. Then by all means do your kids and yourself a favor and get out! But if your relationship is worth fighting for then fight for it. It takes two to make it work or to watch it fall apart. Nothing is 50/50. Give 100% of yourself. And always remember that if you think the grass is greener on the other side then try watering your own grass.
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