Marriage Is A Real Eye Opener

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As little girls we grow up watching all those romantic fairytales where prince charming shows up with a shoe that fits just right or that kiss that wakes the princess from a deep long sleep.  I don’t know about you but I have yet in my 41 years of life to have ever met or known anyone of the opposite sex who meets any of that fairytale “Mr. Right” criteria.

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I have been married for over 6 years but together for almost 7.  Not sure if we are experiencing the 7 year itch but our fairytale is more like “The War Of The Roses” at times. (At times meaning every once in awhile not all the time)  Fuck the glass slipper  because I wear flip flops and if I am sleeping please oh please do not wake me up.  And now as adults all the animated movies from our childhoods have been replaced by movies that are so out of touch from reality.  You all know which ones I am talking about where “Mr. Right” always has the perfect things to say and does all the right gestures.  I mean let’s face it…what man in his unemotional right mind is going to write 365 letters to the same woman?  Or hire a prostitute and then show up to rescue her from the cruel world?  Don’t get me wrong I love a good romance but they are so delusional.

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In real life there are ups and downs in every relationship.  In the beginning it is all fresh and new and the butterflies are fluttering and everything smells good, tastes good, feels somehow superior to how you felt before “that person” came into your life.  Time goes by and you both get comfortable…both put on a few pounds…and everything that was once so perfect and indestructible is now a pile of rubbish.  ((picks a piece of the rubbish up and clips it to the fridge reminding herself to work on that particular aspect of her relationship))  Over time (some less then others) you both decide it is time to either take the plunge or run for the hills.

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once again prince charming doesn’t exist

In walks marriage…

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They say love is blind but I have found that marriage is a true eye opener.  It’s something that needs to be polished from time to time like fine silver.  You can’t just put it in a box somewhere and think that it’s going to be pretty and shiny when you need to use it.  True couples disagree with one another and argue…some even argue just to make up.  And the couples who say they never fight are LYING!!!  And I don’t trust them.  I am a true believer that slight disagreements from time to time are healthy for a relationship.  I mean who wants to just agree to avoid an argument all the time?  Not this girl…I have tried that and ended up only hurting myself.  I am a person of expression and when you make me mad I stand up and let you know.  And when you make me sad, I cry.  Needless to say this doesn’t always go over well with my husband who is one that really doesn’t like to argue and he has no clue as to how to handle crying.  But he is also one who thinks he is right about everything and no one has a word in otherwise.

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Now as a woman there is once a month that I become somewhat impaired emotionally.  Oh who am I kidding…I become a complete crazy and emotional bitch!!!

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My emotions are everywhere and even though I know and he knows that it’s pms.jpg~c200 time….neither of us can control it.  Which brings me back to the fairytales…they never mentioned anything about PMS in the fairytales I grew up on.  Maybe they should have had Cinderella miss the dance because she was home with a heating pad and a bottle of ibuprofen and when prince charming showed up he should have brought chocolates.

Now bring kids into the equation… 

Kids change the entire dynamic of a relationship.  Being selfish is not an option anymore.  You must work harder at the relationship because there are little people relying on you to stay together.  Walking away is not an option.  Well unless you are just so completely miserable that staying together would be a lethal dose of amalgamation.  Then by all means do your kids and yourself a favor and get out!  But if your relationship is worth fighting for then fight for it.  It takes two to make it work or to watch it fall apart.  Nothing is 50/50.  Give 100% of yourself.  And always remember that if you think the grass is greener on the other side then try watering your own grass.

This has been a public service announcement via,

domesticated momster

I am linking this post with the following:

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19 comments

  1. Cute. Being twice divorced I am not sure if I didn’t work hard enough at making it,work or three times is really the charm…or it could be at this age some things just work better? Nope! I worked hard just didn’t pick Mr Right the first two times lol.
    Oh my sister; really does have her Prince Charming His name is MR. WRIGHT!
    Life is interesting. It is unfortunate when the kiddies get hurt by it all. As long as they know they are loved by all and all show they get along things don’t turn out so bad. Just my thought

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    1. I have been married before too….luckily there were no children involved…I grew up with divorced parents…they divorced when I was 9 months and they lived in different states which made it even harder

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      1. It would. I made it a point as did my ex husband. The girls father. We would stay at each other’s homes too visit the girls and were always civil it is important they know that it isn’t there fault and there parents did not make it harder on them to visit or feel guilt over who they loved cuz it was good to love both parents. My partner doesn’t have that type of relationship and I find that sad.

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  2. I’m a natural born cycnic. Never beleived in the Mr (or in my case Miss) Perfect. Never even went looking for her but having been married for about the same length of time, yes, you certainly do havbe to work at things. #wineandboobs

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    1. Yes it takes work on both parts most certainly, Butterflies will always wear off…it’s what’s left bonding it together that truly matters. Thanks for popping over from #wineandboobs. Love that place.

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  3. Here, here! It’s definitely something that has to be worked on, marriage I mean. Otherwise it goes to shit very quickly. That’s why there is so many divorces happening these days, because we have heaps of lazy people who can’t be effed to work on their marriage. It’s not all roses and champagne people! Please don’t get married if you think it’s going to be like that forever. I think my husband is pretty darn close to perfect, but he’s not 100% perfect…..no such thing! #wineandboobs

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    1. None of us are perfect …the important thing is that we still love each other even at our worst. I know my husband has loved me at my worst and vise versa. It takes work on both parts. Thanks for popping over from #wineandboobs.

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  4. Was thinking of writing my own marriage thing and wouldn’t know where to start. I’m glad you did. I agree. I think the reason we have such a crazy divorce rate in this crazy world is because expect that stupid Disney fairytale and give up so easily when they realise it’s not that realistic. Gonna share this x #wineandboobs

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    1. Thanks lovely! Yes I think for some it’s just easier to give up. Before I had kids that was really easy to do but now I have them relying on us as well. Luckily my hubby and I get along pretty good …I think it works for us that he works so much therefore we aren’t in each other’s face everyday. Gives me a chance to miss him in a good way. Thanks for sharing 😉

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  5. great post. Marriage is such hard work and I think it should be because we are both different people evolving all the time and if it’s hard work we are working hard for each other…if that makes sense! Oh please ask disney to make their next heroine have pms. Hot water bottles, anger, tears and chocolate…that’s a cinderella story i’d like to see! #wineandboobs

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    1. My husband and I have been a lot better at communicating lately. I think communication and trust are the biggest components to a successful marriage. We also both remind each other that walking away isn’t an option unless we have both become so miserable that it starts to strain the family. Thanks for popping over and saying hello 🙂

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  6. Great post and it really is something you must work out. Nothing is easy and smooth all the time in life. Life is challenging all around at times. I have only been married eight years but we have our moments of needing work and other times of pure heaven. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me, I hope to see you again tomorrow for another great round. #sharewithme

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  7. What an awesome post! I love the “my prince will come” quote! I’m saving that quote! That is so true! I love Disney because I grew up on it and it helped me kind of escape a lot of the trauma of my childhood but I also believed that one day…blah, blah, blah, that fairytale bullshit. Life is a lot more complicated than that! And the PMS thing, yeah that would have been helpful to know about ahead of time, and that kids change the whole dynamic. Then again, would we have listened? Maybe it’s just one of those things we have to experience for ourselves.

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    1. I just truly believe that the dynamic of some children’s flicks need to be changed which I have seen in such ones as “Brave” where it teaches a girl not only how to be brave but to learn a lesson that her mother, regardless of how controlling, loved her. I grew up watching movies that really made me think some wonderful guy was just going to show up and sweep me off my feet. Even the adult romances today…that shit RARELY happens. Guess we just have to take the lesson of they are called fictional for a reason 😉

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