This morning I woke up to find myself tagged in a message on Facebook that I felt had nothing to do with me. It was from my stepson’s aunt. Today is their grandmother’s (her mother’s) celebration of life ceremony. She passed about a month ago. My stepson’s loved their grandmother for she was the mother figure in their life for many years before I came along. But they will not be there today. And some how I was tagged and blamed for this.
They have known for a long time (long before her passing) that she was very ill and wasn’t given much more time to live yet they still leave the obligation of getting the boys there up to us. They live 7 hours away. My husband took responsibility of both boys a long time ago (one boy is not even his biological son) and he has never asked for a single penny from anyone. Yet every time something comes up about getting the boys there the responsibility is somehow left up to us.
In the tag the aunt claims to know me and that the grandmother thought of me as one of her own yet I have never spent more then 10 minutes with her and I have only met the aunt once in which she pretty much ignored me while she panted all over my husband. Yes they used to date many years ago. Long before I came along. Yet she still, to this day, harbors some kind of feelings for my husband. And still has never made any effort what so ever to get to know me. So I was quite baffled when I awoke to find myself directly tagged in her post. So I read the post that I could hardly even understand due to the multiple grammar mistakes in which it withheld. But what I did understand, loud and clear, is that somehow my husband and I are the bad guys because we won’t load up our family of seven, miss work and school, pay all the finances of said trip, so that her nephews can be there. While she sits back and does nothing to help. Because somehow she thinks love is all anyone needs to live. Yes love is important but love doesn’t buy gas or plane tickets or hotel rooms or food to feed seven on a trip. Maybe I will just tell her that all of us will just hop on our fancy unicorns and be there by noon. Because that is what kind of delusional world she lives in.
The truth is we are over here working and taking care of 5 kids while she sits on her butt, to my knowledge, doesn’t work, has never spent a significant amount of time raising her own kids, and really has no responsibilities other then herself right now. I am sorry for her loss. Her mother was a good woman from what I have heard from my stepsons. Like I said I don’t know any of the “other” family. Everything I know is through someone else telling me.
I am sorry the boys won’t be there but I refuse to be the one to blame. If they feel like they need to do something in memory of their grandmother I will be more then happy to be there for them and help them with that. I have experienced loss in my life and everyone deals with it differently and no one should be forced into dealing with it how someone else sees fit.