“Sister Wives”

No I am not one.  Although the idea of it has crossed my mind a time or two.  But I know in the deepest depths of my soul that sharing my man with another woman on a permanent basis would drive me to drink more wine then I already do.  Not only because of jealousy issues but for the pure fact that I wouldn’t want another woman prying in my own beliefs of how to raise my children or how to make my man happy.

I have followed the show “Sister Wives” through every season since the beginning.  Not because I agree or disagree with their lifestyle but because I am curious about it.  In the beginning they all seemed so united.   The children were much younger but when there were only 3 wives the dynamic seemed so much more simultaneous.  They worked as a team but were 3 individual mothers and wives.  They relied on one another and each knew their place.

Enter moving to Las Vegas, NV and adding a fourth wife

Now when I watch the show it seems like such a train wreck.  First of all why, after 15 years of the dynamic being the same, would “the husband” want to change it by adding another wife?  Not only another wife but a younger, thinner, and prettier wife?  I personally think religion has nothing to do with his behavior…I think he is just a typical male that doesn’t  want to be confined to only one female.  Therefore, human nature.  But somehow because they stamp a religion on it then it makes it “OK”.  Maybe ok for him but what I can see, in the expressions of his wives, is that everything has changed.  They no longer form a “unit”….they are now 4 individual units…living in four different houses….and none of them connecting as actual “sister wives”.

sister-wife (plural sister-wives)- In a polygamous marriage a woman who is simultaneously a sister, and co-wife to another. *wiktionary.org 

One of the wives has even moved her mother in so that she has someone to help her with her children.  She has 3 sister wives (one of which has no children living at home anymore), yet she has to call on her own mother for help?  That in itself shows how much the “energy” between the wives has changed.  The only closeness I see in them is when they are all seated on the couch talking about the current episode.

I now see four women, who after years of giving up their lives to raise children and working together to do so, now wanting to gain their own independence and individualities apart from each other and “the husband”.  Like somehow burying themselves into “finding” themselves somehow takes the focus away from the fact that none of them are “happily” married.  And in my opinion, I think that leaving the situation is not an option for them.  Because leaving would mean failure.  Failure to a religious belief that life is supposed to be lived that way.  Therefore, giving up on the situation would be giving up on their religion.  But like I said…that’s just my opinion.

One man cannot be emotionally available for all those wives and children.  It is just not “humanly” possible.  But I will give him kudos for trying.  I will also give the wives kudos for trying to adapt to that lifestyle over and over again with no prevail.  And then having it publicly displayed on television for all the world to judge and form opinions about them.  And although I don’t agree or disagree with their lifestyle…I…like so many others have formed opinions about it.  But in the end it’s not our life to decide.  It’s theirs.  They chose it and they live it.  And they have taken the courage to share it with the rest of us…would you be so bold as to share your life and all your skeletons on public television?

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

6 thoughts on ““Sister Wives””

  1. Not in a million years would I want to do that. My husband says “Why” would any man want to have that many wives. To each his own! I have only watch a few minutes here and there as I just can’t understand why someone would want to put their lives on t.v. but again that’s just me.

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  2. It would be nice to have another woman to share housework and child-rearing with, but I am way too jealous to share my husband. I think a nanny or a maid would be a much more feasible option.

    And I would never be able to star in a reality television show! Not that I have many skeletons, but it would be so nerve-racking to be watched 24/7. No thank you!

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  3. What an interesting post, Trista! I used to live out by Colorado City. We even went into town to shop sometimes. Everyone looked at US as if we were from another planet, although, it was okay for all of them to shop in Wal Mart, etc. Some stores in Colorado City even have stipulations about what you have to wear to be allowed to shop in their stores, namely long sleeved shirts, long clothes covering you all over.
    Anyway, on to the real topic, the sister wives. Living so close to all this we knew a few who were either 1) still active in this lifestyle or 2) had left and were very, very anti everything about this culture. It seems the ones who left it…went in a very far direction (over the top) away from this. This happens a lot in extreme life cultures, when people leave (which is very hard to to), they distance themselves so far from it, they become radical in the opposite direction.
    We haven’t had TV for a long time, just rent movies, so I haven’t watched this or even hardly knew about this series. So, they are REAL sister wives, eh?
    Yeah, I agree with Aplushousewife in that it sure would be nice to have someone share in the work and childrearing, etc but not in the bed! haha
    In many countries, this is a common practice. It’s funny how we get so engrained in our own cultures and ways that outside differences that rub us as from just odd to downright awful affect our viewpoints, our perceptions.
    I think if I had a deep love for my mate, it would be very hard to share; to watch him feel the same way about another woman. If the marriage is more lukewarm and one of convenience, maybe the bedding down part wouldn’t bother me. If I were raised in a country or religion where this was acceptable and standard practice, none of us would probably think twice about it.
    I DO agree with what you said, Trista, if they were functioning well as a team of four (3 wives) and then he gets a fourth, younger, prettier wife, he has done it out of his own self gratification. I suppose if their purpose is to multiply and help this grow and his other wives are past child bearing age, maybe he felt “justified” morally in doing that.
    I think it sounds like a mess and I know old men often take young girls. In our society we call that being a pedifile. Have you heard how some of the Arabian Nation’s men take little, almost toddler girls, and marry them. Don’t get me start there.

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  4. Oh, another thing, you said something about them choosing this life. They don’t choose it if they are born into it. There was a place in St George, UT that actually opened up a home for the girls who were trying to escape this life. It is almost impossible for some of them to get out of it. I even know a woman, a friend, who grew up in all this and got out and was active in helping other girls escape. Even the young boys, they call them the “lost boys”, are often in danger of the jealous old men. #@!$%^#

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    1. This particular family is much different from the “compound” lives that you are referring to. They don’t press the issue on their current children and let them blossom into their own choice of adulthood…three of the children have left the home and only one talks of wanting to also be in a plural marriage. I believe to each their own and as long as they aren’t forcing their beliefs upon others then more power to them. All the wives are free to leave …the husband is actually a very nice guy and truly has his hands full…I mean could you imagine having to please 4 different women with 4 completely different personalities? It’s really quite comical at moments. If you get a chance sometime I think it is available on DVD 🙂

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