They’re Just Boobs

I have always been noticed, remembered, and referred to as “the one with the big boobs”  Like somehow that triggers someones mental picture of who I am.  Yes I have big boobs…yes they are real…but what’s the big deal?

My nicknames in high school were “Titsa” …”Chesta”…”Emerson”….to name a few.  In case you were wondering what the meaning behind “Emerson” was….”Em-er-some big titties”.  What is it about big boobs that turns people into certifiable boob fruit loops?  Seriously?  And it’s not only men to blame for this fascination because I have had just as many women obsessed with my “twins” as men. Like for instance I returned to a place this evening that I have only been to one time before.  The bartender at said establishment welcomed me, at first, like she would welcome anyone.  Then she glanced from my face to my boobs and suddenly something in her mind went off like a light bulb and reminded her that she knew exactly who I was….”THE BOOBY CHIC!”

For those of you women who are thinking that you need a breast enlargement ….let me just tell you how overrated big boobs really are.  Let’s start with the basics of clothing.  Have you ever held up a shirt to see if it would possibly fit your boobs?  Have you ever seen an XL that was “made in China”?  Chinese women don’t have big boobs! Therefore an XL shirt, “made in China” might fit my 3 year old.

Next let’s talk about exercising with big boobs.  It sucks.  I wear a bra, a sports bra that is a size too small so it’s firm and still firm once my boobs have stretched it out.  Then I put on a tank top with a built in bra and then top it all off with a sweatshirt.  And then I get to the gym it’s 80 degrees in there and I am s*w*e*a*t*i*n*g!  Nothing compares to running on the treadmill.  I feel like I am doing so good and then I glance in the mirror and realize I look like “Forest Gump”.  Not to mention it HURTS!  So I just stick to brisk walking instead.

How about bathing suits?  The problem with those suckers is I am small in my hips and ass area, therefore if I find one that fits up top then the bottoms are drowning me.  So I am the one who takes a top from one and the bottoms of another and combines them on the same rack.  Let me just apologize if you have ever been the one who found the cutest suit, and it was the last one left, and either the top or the bottom was missing.  And yes I have tried doing a one piece but those are made for women with hips and ass.  And if you are lacking in those areas then they are VERY unflattering.

Then there is the awkwardness of walking into a room and meeting someone for the first time only to have them not even look you in the face!  And it’s like they aren’t even aware they are doing it!  Again…”THEY ARE JUST BOOBS PEOPLE!”  They don’t talk, they don’t shake hands, THEY DON’T COMMUNICATE!

….rant over.    

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I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

29 thoughts on “They’re Just Boobs”

  1. I always had small boobs and I was embarassed about it, then after 2 children and a few more decades they’ve finally got to sort of normal size and I really like it. I don’t know exactly what it’s like for you but I do feel your pain, boobs, boobs, boobs, so what?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Argh a fellow lady with big boobs although I have never been remembered for my boobs before – maybe yours are bigger ha!

    But I tell you something the clothing issue is one I struggle with regularly. Check out Bravissimo-Pepperberry now one of my favourite brands now they do clothes where you can buy your dress size and then your boob size. It’s fab!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Is it wrong that I now want to see a picture of your boobs?! I am one of those obsessed people obviously! It gets worse when you breastfeed and are hauling out said boobs, people look at me like I am mad #wineandboobs (ps great post for the linky)

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have small boobs. My best bikini body was when I was 8 weeks pregnant (ie before I had a belly) cos they got a bit bigger.

    Oh, and breastfeeding in public with big boobs is also much better. At least you look like you have milk in them. When you have small boobs, people just think that you are making a political statement and that you bottle feed on the side.

    Thanks for the funny post. It lightened my mood. xx


  5. Ah! Boobs….I have a large set myself and I agree…what’s the fuss?!
    I presume that you’re afraid of trampolines too? No one wants to knock themselves out with their own hooters eh? Trampolines, pogo sticks and space hoppers- OUT OF THE QUESTION!!


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do jump on the trampoline with my kids…usually requires a bra, sports bra, support tank, and a t-shirt…and only my kids can be in the presence of that! Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment #bloggerlove


  6. I always had small boobs but had my big boob moments when I was feeding, they could balloon a few sizes in a relatively short space of time! I definitely found it fascinating but am glad to get back to my own little ones! Was nice to live the dream for a little while! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve never had a big chest, apart from when I breastfeeding, and used to always want a boob job when I was younger. Yet, every woman I’ve ever met who’s had big ole breasticles has told me about the backache, the annoyance at not being able to find clothes that fit properly amongst other things – and it’s put me off ever having one. Not only that, I think my maturing and finding someone who loves me the way I am makes me happy with my small size. It’s rude of people to remember you for your boobies though and sad for them that it’s the first thing they notice. You’re right, they’re just boobs, tits, bazookas, milk machines. I don’t get the fascination either! xx


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