Someone I Miss:
Must I narrow this to only one? It’s my writing challenge therefore I am going to do what I want…oh wait…I do that all the time anyway.
I miss my maternal grandmother. She has been gone for many years but there are so many pieces of me that I wish she could have seen. I was still in my “selfish-all about me” stage of life when she past and I regret not telling her how much more appreciative of her I was. She pretty much raised me and regardless of the generation gap between her raising her own children and then raising me I realize now that she always put me first. I wish she could have met my children and seen how happy I am now. When she was alive I was so contingent about who I was or wanted to be and usually I was just an asshole.
I miss my bestie. I met my bestie at a playdate for our littles. Problem is we didn’t realize how much we adored each other until a couple years later. We are both kind of introverted in our ways and neither of us knows how to step over one’s boundaries. But somehow we finally managed to do so…the year before I moved. I miss our SAHM afternoon wine tastings and watching our kids all bond like they had been born in the same womb. I miss going to the “wine and canvas” event with her(yeah we are a couple of winos…what of it?)…even though we had only attended two of them…I know that if I still lived there…we would still be attending them regularly. I miss dinner “dates” that we would take our littles to. Her daughter and my son are absolutely smitten with one another and there isn’t a day that goes by that my little B man doesn’t ask to go see his “girlfriend“. He still doesn’t understand that we don’t just live down the street anymore. I just miss spending time with her in general.
I miss my family. I really don’t get to see any of them often enough due to the fact that we all live in different places. I have the means to go visit them but 1 mom + 3 toddlers on a road trip = MOMMY IN A STRAIGHT JACKET by the end. I did it one year with an infant and a toddler all while 7 months pregnant. I survived but by the time we got home I thought I had done lost my mind somewhere between Salt Lake City UT and Las Vegas, NV, and someone had run over it.
I miss all my friends I had to leave behind due to moving. I miss seeing their faces regularly and laughing until my cheeks and abs hurt. I miss seeing their little people and being a part of their lives. I really miss “girl-chatter“.
I realize that life just keeps changing. We miss certain things and a lot of someone’s. We experience new things and meet new someone’s. And of course they can never replace the former ones but make new transitions worth the transitioning.