#GirlsWithBigBoobProblems

When I was younger I absolutely hated having big boobs.  I would wear overly huge tops and try everything I possibly could to make them “appear” smaller.  I even tried duct taping them once…talk about painful!  Over the years I have grown to appreciate them more but there is still a bit of a pain in the ass dark side to having big tatas.

Bra shopping.  I have wandered into Vicoria’s Secret on numerous occasions only to be disappointed in their selection of sizes. On the clearance rack only hangs A and B cups.  Now, as a marketing person I would have to stop and figure out why there are so many of those sizes left over.  Could it possibly be because boob jobs breast enlargement has been on the rise for quite some time now.  Granted mine are all natural but that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t like to at least FIND a bra my size at said store and finding it on clearance well that would just be a massive bonus.  And please tell me that when I do find my bra size in certain department stores that they look like something my granny used to wear?  Do they think that big breasted women don’t like lace and see through fancy shit?  Does my only color options have to be limited to white or tan?  And what’s with the 4 hooks in the back?  I am holding up boobs not a half ton piece of concrete.

'Ready with the implants, nurse?'
‘Ready with the implants, nurse?’
The shelf.  It’s the place where any drop of food lies and then becomes a stain.  Every shirt I own with a stain is in “the shelf” area.  I stopped wearing white because it was like a curse.  If I stand up straight I can’t see my feet because “the shelf” is in the way.  Sometimes I just set the bowl of whatever I am eating gently on “the shelf”.  That’s one way to prevent stains from happening.

Hugging.  I am also tall…therefore hugging someone means smothering them in boob sweat nation or almost choking them to death with my massive boob mounds.

Bathing suit shopping.  Don’t even get me started.  I am lucky if I can find a top big enough to cover my nipples top half.  And let’s face it, the whole piece bathing suits these days are just so unflattering.  Especially since I don’t have a large bottom half to even out my top half.

Breastfeeding.  Thankfully I am done with this but it was no picnic when doing it.  Have you ever tried nursing with a boob larger then your baby’s head?  And to breast feed in public was just not ever going to happen.  There were no cover wraps big enough for that.  I would have to bring a queen sized sheet with a hole in it for my head.

Sleeping on my stomach.  It’s just out of the question really.

Button down tops. Don’t own any.  Because inevitably the middle few buttons get ripped off and even before that there is always a gap in that area where the buttons are 2 threads away from popping just too tight.

Working out.  I wear a bra, then a sports bra, then a tank with boob support, and then a t-shirt or sweatshirt.  Running is like giving myself black eyes out of the question for more then 5 or 10 minutes and I am just really not into having that many eyes on the twins.  So if the gym is packed then you can bet I am not running on the treadmill.  Running also produces boob sweat which then is attracted to every piece of crumb of anything that falls in there.  I could feed a small nation with what gets lost in crumbs between my boobs.

'You don't expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?'
‘You don’t expect me to play volleyball without a sports bra, do you?’
People ask me if I have back problems.  WTF do you think!

Running out the door without a bra on.  Running and no bra shouldn’t even be in the same sentence for me.  Even to run to the local convenience store…I put a boulder holder bra on.

#GirlsWithBigBoobProblems

domesticated momster

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

41 thoughts on “#GirlsWithBigBoobProblems”

  1. If this weren’t so sad and uncomfortable for you it would be funny. Or at least you words would be funny. I can’t imagine not being able to sleep on my stomach or being restricted about doing some things or not being able to wear certain clothes, etc. I know some people have had breast reductions but I’ve never been a fan of surgery that’s not absolutely necessary. But I’m a guy and never had to deal with this so who knows how I would feel being in your situation. I’m sorry.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If I say ” I feel ya” would that sound ina-pro-pro? Haha! But Girl, I soooo feel you on this. Down to the 4 clips on the back & the exact same wardrobe to work out. And frankly it’s just way too tight after putting all that on so I say f*ck it and order a pizza!
    Reading from #wineandboobs. How fitting is that? Haha! Here’s my Top 10 post about life with toddlers from the link up: http://mytalesfromthecrib.blogspot.com/2012/09/top-10-signs-you-have-officially.html?m=0

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Right there, too. I’m also bummed that I just HAVE to have a bra on because there are so many cute tops and dresses (backless, anyone?) that I would totally rock (probably not) if not for the girls and the need to support them constantly. 😁

    Liked by 1 person

  4. My boobs were already absurdly huge at 34DDD, but then I got my tubal ligation done a little over 2 years ago. Now every time I see a friend, make or female, they hug me and ask, “Uh, is it just me, or have your boobs gotten even bigger?”

    Currently sitting with a 34G, I would say yeah, they have gotten bigger. I can totes relate to everything about this post lol! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The struggle is real! I feel like I have been branded my entire life. I am in a 36DDD sometimes 36DD depends on who is making the bra but I just know they are big and in the way most days lol. I couldn’t imagine having G’s :O

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I can relate to that! I hate not finding my bra size 😦 lol… Joking! I can imagine it’s true and it must be frustrating to not find things in your size or that fit well or in cloth that you want! Thank you for linking on #wineandboobs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  6. So funny, that truly made me laugh! I’ve only had big boobs since pregnancy so I’m relatively knew to all this but I’ll tell you, I’ll be much happier if and when I can shrink them! I tried on a pre preg bikini yesterday for my holiday on Monday. It was obscene. It barely covered my nipples 😦

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I used to always wear a bra and then a sports bra on top to make my boobs look smaller when I was younger. And yes breastfeeding with huge boobs was a mission. The only upside to breastfeeding is that my boobs have somehow deflated and they now appear smaller than they’ve ever been! I’m probably the only person in the world to be happy about having deflated boobs – but I am! Thanks for hosting #momsterslink x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Mine just stayed the same…never got bigger or deflated but starting to have back problems so I’m going to have to think about options. Thanks so much for taking the time to stop by, comment, and link up 🙂

      Like

  8. As a small boobed lady I was always jealous of people who were more ‘talented’ in that department. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realised the problems big boobs bring. I can now appreciate the small sisters. And they managed to feed my baby – miraculous in itself – where the hell does the milk come from?!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Haha! I swear I didn’t read this before. The similarities are scary. Ah the shelf. How could I have forgotten to mention that! Sometimes I find half my meal in my cleavage.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Oh noooo. I never know how it must be as I am the complete opposite. I hardly have anything after breastfeeding. It must be hard doing an exercise and the boob sweat must be a nightmare. Definitely makes me think I should think carefully about what I wish for!! Thanks for linking up to #bestandworst and see you again soon xxx

    Liked by 1 person

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