humor mom kids meltdown

What Defines Me


When I was a teenager I thought I knew the answer to everything.  I thought that I had my life planned out long before I had ever even graduated high school.  I thought I wanted to marry my high school sweetheart and live in the same town I grew up in, for the rest of my life.  “Urban Cowboy” was my favorite movie and “Bud and Sissy” seemed like they had it all with their mobile home that they “could move it wherever they want to”.  I also loved “Flashdance“.  Watched it almost everyday and wished that I had her determination, and of course that I lived in New York.

By my senior year everything that I “thought” I had known, completely changed.  I no longer wanted to stay in that small town.  My first love turned out to be an asshole.  And “Bud and Sissy” were no longer my ideals of a relationship.

Fast forward 24 years to present day…..

I am married with 5 great kids!  My life is filled with chaos on a monumental  basis.  This life is not what I ever imagined or could have tried to even fathom.  There are days that I have “Terms Of Endearment” and then there are days that resemble “Overboard“.  Granted I don’t wake up to Kurt Russel every morning in a house that resembles that of shed filled with filth.  But life is still teaching me lessons.

The truth is…being a mom and wife is what defines me.  I love and hate it all at the same time.  All of it.  There is no other way to describe it.  When the kids are all playing and getting along it’s a moment of pure bliss.  When they are fighting and scratching each others eyes out it makes me want to rip every last piece of my hair out until I am lifeless on the couch and mumbling “ba baa bbaaabbabba”

humor mom kids meltdown

The same goes for marriage.  When it’s good it’s it’s like….(wow I googled movies about good marriages and their wasn’t a single one!)  Therefore I am going to pull the first one that comes to my quirky little mind… and that is “Sex Tape“.  Don’t judge…we all wish we were that hot of a couple that we could just leave our homemade  porno in ” the cloud”!  And when It’s bad it’s more like “The War Of The Roses“.

Regardless of what “movie” may resemble my real life…the truth is…this is my life and nothing resembles it.  I love my “not so little” family and I wouldn’t change it (well except maybe for the fact I would have more possibilities of someone babysitting for more then a few hours…I think my husband and I are in a serious need of a timeout… in a hotel room…not the corner).  My “Ever After” is in the here and now.

That’s Life,

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The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

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I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

30 thoughts on “What Defines Me”

  1. I don’t think you’re different than most in feeling both crazy and blissful depending on the moment. Same holds true with relationships. Drifting to your own thing is common when there is so little down time and everyone needs their own time and space on occasion. I have to imagine getting a babysitter for four kids is a little more challenging than it might be for two…:) Sometimes expressing it either verbally or in writing as you’ve done here helps…for ten minutes or so. And then Groundhog Day kicks in again….:) Enjoy the movie and finish that bottle of wine. I’d say better days are coming but there might come a time, sooner than you might imagine, when you’ll look back and think that these were the better days.


    1. I love everyday …it’s not entire days that are stressful usually just moments and some days things run so smoothly without a hiccup ..I love those days! I look forward to the day that I get to say I raised my kids…from the time they came out of my body I was there …through everything, and I will be proud of that HUGE accomplishment! Thats what defines me :))

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Awww! The ending hit me right in the feels. *composes myself and rids self of Millenial terms*

    To be honest, i’m not really sure where I’ll be going in the future, but it’s kind of comforting to see that’s not uncommon- and that I might just turn out to be okay.

    Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and the other stuff I’ve written thus far- and keep on keeping on!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Life is never over….tomorrow is the beginning…the first day of the rest of your life….and sometimes life finds you when you least expect it…that’s what happened to me and I cherish every moment! (Even if I complain about it a lot lol) I wouldn’t trade it for anything 🙂

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  3. I related to all those movies you mentioned. I own all of them (except Sex Tape) – 🙂 (but now I have 50 Shades)

    Although we only have 2 kids, we never go out because we have no family support. Bill’s dad moved to Oregon, Bill’s mom is local to us but always working, and my mom lives about an hour away- and both moms have told us they are not babysitters. To pay a babysitter in our area, is like $10.00/hour per kid. We could only go our for an hour.

    Thankfully, we have a nice neighbor that loves our kids and she’ll walk over and watch them so we can go to an occasional concert but we don’t want her to regret offering so we limit what we ask her.

    I get frustrated with my life when I see we aren’t where I had expected to be and that I can’t afford to be home with kids and I have to work, but at the same time, work gives me a break from the kids and allows some extra money for bills and sports and mostly independence. I’m not a wife or mommy there, then again… I do have to mother some individuals there, as well.

    I never feel sexy. What you want to get busy, really? Then, I’m like what the hell was I procrastinating for – my amazing dude. Making the time is exactly what we needed- but mostly I’m tired or have so much to do when kids are finally asleep.

    I get you, chick!


    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are lucky that our 15 year old is able to watch the littles so that my husband and I can at least have a date night from time to time and I hear you about not feeling sexy but I’ve learned that my husband thinks I am and he’s the one who has to sleep with me lol I have personality …that’s how I rock it 😉 we have only lived here for about a year and I haven’t found anyone that I would trust leaving my kids with overnight, or I wouldn’t want to scare off the friends we do have by giving into their offers to take them…toddler nation can be a lot to take on sometimes. Thanks for reading Sandi :)) Trista

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      1. Yeah, we don’t do overnighters without our kids going with us (to Vegas, etc.) And, in the rare time we do go, we separate them and ask friends that have kids the same age/sex so they can hang out with someone. For instance, Gibson stayed with Zachary’s family, and then Samantha stayed with Stephanie’s family. That way we didn’t give the (2) together because our kids have always fought. They are always bickering and can’t leave each other alone.

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  4. I love your post. Our life is our own little movie and as many twists and turns it might have, it’s sure worth an Oscar. Isn’t it interesting how we think we know where we are heading and then it all turns out completely different? Yes, my family defines me and I’m happy they do. I’m a much better person thanks to them than I would ever be without them.

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  5. Raising a family is a wonderful thing to do and it is challenging and wonderful all at once. Your words ‘I love and hate it all at the same time’ are so true for most of us. That is normal and so is the need for more time to yourself. I hope you get some soon. Great post. Kirsten

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  6. The take way here for me is the love & hate all of it – that’s really true. There are moments when being a SAH mom can be so tough! But then other times it’s so amazingly rewarding. We definitely don’t know what we really want in high school nor could we predict how our lives would go! I’d never have guessed I’d be living in Ireland! I’m visiting from #AnythingGoes

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Loved this post as ever and how you peppered it with references to movies – clever! Whenever I see your post pop up in my feed or email, I know it’s time for a cuppa and a good read. I can relate to what you have written but that is the beauty of movies isn’t it? That chance to escape reality and just dream a little and then you get older, you realise that that’s where ,movies belong – in dreams. But I don’t think we should ever stop dreaming. It’s good to live in the now but once in a while, I love to dream of what may be. I think that keeps me young and insane. LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Love it and all the movie references! It’s true, life never turns out as you expect, or without ups and downs. But then the lows are probably necessary to give context and perspective to the highs!

    Thank you so much for linking to #PasstheSauce

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