Motherhood Is A Gift

Today while reading a fellow blogger’s post, Reneé at Mummy Tries, it inspired me to write my own post.

There was a time in my life that I really didn’t care if I would live to see another day.  I played by my own rules and pretty much destructed anything that came into my path.  I was reckless, careless, and on a one way street to my own destruction.

Things really took a turn for the worst when I woke up one day, at the age of 34, another failed relationship, and an empty bottle of vodka on the counter.  I had created quite a mess.  And I had pretty much come to the conclusion that this was my life and there was really nothing more to do then go to the liquor store and get another bottle of vodka.  And I did.  To say I was a borderline alcoholic was probably sugar-coating it.

Don’t get me wrong, it was a ridiculously fun summer getting drunk and lounging around in the pool everyday with my best friend.  Sobering up long enough to go to work, pay the bills, and buy more vodka.

Being single had started to paint this beautiful picture…

Motherhood Is A Gift

Those around me at the time, with the exception of my best friend, probably weren’t aware of the tragic girl trapped inside this beautiful mess of mine.  I decorated my life well.  Everything on the outside said “happy” but then peel one layer of the previous night’s mascara away and the true meaning of wretched lied beneath.

You see, as much as I remember having fun in those days there is also a lot of “not so fun” memories.  Some that would probably drop jaws if I were ever to write about them.  And some that I just prefer to keep locked in my own personal Pandora’s box.

Those days that I left behind …some fun…some not so fun…are also called “no regrets”.  I lived life the way I wanted to, however crazy that was.  I hit bottom a few times but managed to get back up and dust myself off.  And all those times remind me to appreciate my life now.

Because today…here and now…I have these little people who rely on me everyday…who would miss me if I were gone…

A feeling I had never experienced before.  The possibility of being missed.  It changes everything.  The feeling of not caring about seeing another day was suddenly filled with an extreme need to firmly plant both feet on the ground and keep them there.  To laugh more, love more, and try harder to embrace…life more.

There have been times I have still struggled at it…life…my marriage…and sometimes even motherhood I would be lying if I said otherwise.  There have been days that I have felt like “quitting” but then I remember I’m no quitter.

I am a mother…a gift that some never get to experience in their life…and a gift that truly saved mine.

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DomesticatedMomster

I am a mother of 5, a wife to 1, and a fully certified domesticated momster who likes to blog about motherhood, marriage, and anything else that pops into my crazy head all with a side of sarcasm and a glass of wine.

34 thoughts on “Motherhood Is A Gift”

  1. Great post- very open and very honest. Thank you for always keeping it real. I saw a quote today about motherhood that this reminded me of- “Your life will never be the same again, in the best way possible.”

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    1. Thank you so much! I am usually such a sarcastic writer but yesterday after reading my fellow blogging friend’s post I suddenly became emotional and just started writing. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment 🙂

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  2. Gorgeous, heartfelt post Trista – bravely honest, and I hope cathartic to write. I had a hunch that we had an awful lot in common my lovely! I think we see things very similarly, life with small kids is certainly challenging, and pushes us to our limits, but as you said they would miss us greatly if we weren’t here… as people who have truly lived in self-destruct mode, and got up that morning to see the bottom of another bottle, we appreciate how much of a gift it all is. As hard as it all is, I would never swap my life xxx

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    1. It means so much to me for you to leave such a wonderful comment. Your post yesterday really inspired me and I just related with everything you said. I love being a mother …I will take the good and bad days of motherhood over any day of my self destructive days (even the funnest ones). Because now I have a purpose they give me a purpose to be here. Thanks again for inspiring me Reneé and leaving such a beautiful comment.

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  3. I could have written this post. My two littlies give me so much purpose and I am a completely different person since having them. This must have been a very hard post to write but was wonderful to read. Thanks for sharing such an honest post which I’m sure many of us relate too, but not all.of us are brave enough to write ♡

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    1. Awww thank you hon 🙂 such a sweet comment for you to leave. I truly didn’t feel brave when writing it just had a morning of thought after reading Reneé’s post that inspired me. I’m sure we mommies and daddies were all different people before we had children. Some are smart enough to change and some are not. That would be my stepsons’ mother. She deserted those boys their whole lives for her selfish life and in my opinion doesn’t even deserve them to call her mom. While other blog post lol. Thanks again for the wonderful comment love 🙂

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  4. What a wonderful post, and I think I also read Renee’s post that inspired you to write this. It’s amazing how life changing the small people can be in so many ways. Your sentiments really remind me of a sign for motorists that I saw on the motorway last week…it said ‘somebody loves you, please take care’. So true xx

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  5. Beautifully written post! I think all of us had some crazy past which made us appreciate our life better now especially looking at our kids. Being a mother had given our existence to a greater significance no matter what our past life was. Thanks for sharing! #AnythingGoes

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  6. You are an amazing person, who I am so grateful to have “met” via the blogosphere. You have a way of expressing yourself that’s so heartfelt and relatable. This post is going to touch so many mothers whose lives have changed because they brought little lives into the world. So wonderful! ❤ xx #anythinggoes

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  7. Beautiful, honest post! Sometimes you don’t realise that your actions are self destructive until you come through the other side. There’s nothing wrong with having fun, but like you say once you have children, you suddenly have a lot to lose 🙂
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

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  8. Oh wow Trista! This is such a great post!! You are so brave to get that all out!!! This must be so cathartic for you. I love that you are so real and really say the things how they are. I’m sorry that you had to experience those bottom moments in your life but what a turn over you have had lovely! You have now a wonderful family and gorgeous kids!! Sometimes the best way to learn in life and become a better person is to be in your lowest!! So then you get the best version of yourself. It is a shame that you life so far away because I would love to meet you in person! Hopefully one day! Thank you so much for sharing this! 🙂 xx
    #AnythingGoes

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    1. Thank you Franca for such a wonderful comment. I do sometimes believe that sometimes I have to put away the sarcastic/ranty side of me and write something real. I felt inspired the morning I wrote this and I am sure it won’t be the last “bleeding” post of mine 😉 I too would love to meet you in person. I have made so many wonderful blogging friends that I hope to all meet someday in person. Thank you so much for popping over from #AnythingGoes.

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  9. Beautiful post, and something I can very much identify with. When my first marriage broke down I found myself, aged 29 and single, and seeling solace in the bottom of a wine glass. It’s very easy to head down that route, thank god you (and I!) found our way back out. xx

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    1. Yes! It’s such an easy road to take and so many get lost. Finding my husband (or he found me actually) and starting our family was the best fork in the road I’ve ever taken. I am so glad for you that you too are able to be happy even after losing a child…you are a strong woman!

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      1. Thank you. I was exactly the same, 5 years ago today I went on a first date with my husband and here we are, a family of six and stronger than ever. I dread to think where my life would have led to without him, thank god we are on the right path. High five!!! xxx

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  10. I spent most of my 20s acting very much the same. I would say that my wife and kids changed me, but honestly I don’t think I would have the wife and kids if I didn’t wise up and change myself first. Some people just take longer to grow up and pull their heads out of their ass I think

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    1. I agree. I had some really dark times and I had no one to blame but myself. I was always a free spirit that the minute someone tried to cage me I would gnaw my foot off to get out. I had pretty much given up on ever meeting a man that didn’t want to try and control me….and then I met my husband. It’s true what they say, when you aren’t looking, it comes to you. Yes it was in the form of yahoo personals but hey…it’s a story for us to tell. Thanks for popping over Jeremy!

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