~Bad Mommy~

Momster had an epic fail at motherhood last night.  I mean EPIC.  Like serious momsterhood.

As most mothers know…this happens to the best of us.

I sat and started to think about some things, as I sat there, in my “feeling sorry” not for myself but for my poor little monster B man that was probably having nightmares of his crazed, and on the verge of being a lunatic, mother.

In my thinking I started to count the number of days that I have ever been away from my children and I have come to the realization that it adds up to less then 10 days total.

In almost 6 years.

I have had less than 10 days…total all together…without my kids.

And I wonder why I am crazy???

Sure … I take a day every six to eight weeks to have a day in the city to myself but I am talking about a 24 hour period, all at once,  of not seeing my kids.

**continues to sit and tries to relax**

Commercial comes on…

It shows this family around the breakfast table all laughing and smiling enjoying breakfast together.

Now I don’t know about you but my morning NEVER looks or even resembles that.    My mornings go something more like this….

Bad Mommy

Alarm goes off and 10 minutes later I shut it off.

I get out of bed and stumble to the shower…unless of course one of the monsters is already up then there is no shower for me.  This is also why sometimes I shower at night.

bad mommy parenting motherhood mornings

I wake the sleeping trolls.

One of which, like me, HATES LOATHES mornings.

Of course no one ever wants the same thing for breakfast…I could cook eggs and bacon and they would all want waffles.

30 minutes later we are finished with breakfast and all we had was cereal.

Time to get dressed.  Now before you go thinking that I should pick out their stuff the night before…**rolls eyes** believe me I HAVE TRIED THAT…waste of time…because by morning little monster M wants to wear something different.

Search for shoes…which yes I had them put in their closet upon removal the day before but somewhere in between that time and time to place them on the feet again they have up and moved location.  And the time it takes to find them…it mind as well be in another zip code.

Now it’s 10 minutes before we need to get out the door and I am still in my pajamas and there’s still hair to be combed and teeth to be brushed including my own!

Yeah there’s no time for anything but a piece of dry toast in the car on the way to school.  Maybe sprinkled with dry oatmeal.

Seriously cooked oatmeal all served at the same time at the breakfast table???  Who does that…if you do ….by all means please let me know in the comments how that is possible?

My life with 3 monsters, all a year apart, is never a moment shy of pure and utter chaos.  Now let’s add homework and reading time with little monster B.

bad mommy parenting motherhood homework
“I don’t have my homework Miss Flynn…my parents forgot to do it”

I have tried doing his homework when he first gets home from school but at the same time he has been in school all day and quite honestly just wants to come home and play.  And I can’t say I blame him because quite honestly 7 hours of school for a 5 year old should be plenty.

Now it’s 4:30 and I have got to start thinking about getting dinner prepared and ready.

Next thing I know it’s time to go through the hour  long process of getting everyone bathed…and that’s if everyone is cooperating.  Don’t even get me started on the time escape if someone wants to argue about what pajamas they are wearing or if I go to comb hair and suddenly realize that there’s still soap in it.  Yes that happens quite often.

Last night after getting everyone ready for bed and there is only 10 minutes left before “lights out” little monster B and I sit down to start his reading.  My patience is running on tttthhhhhiiiiinnnn (that’s thin)  at this point.  We start reading…he starts goofing off…I ask him to please stop and pay attention…continue to read some more…he starts goofing off again…again I warn him…by the 3rd warning I AM DONE.  I close the book and tell him to go to bed.

This of course sparks a meltdown.  Probably because it’s now after said bedtime and it’s been a very… long… day.

bad mommy parenting motherhood

I tuck him it as he is preceding to cry and continue a meltdown about not finishing the book…so I go into my room and shut the door…he begins to whale…I turn up my television…he whales louder….this goes on for a good 15 minutes until finally I had enough…I go into his room…first try to explain to him why I did what I did …still whaling…so then I yell at him to go to sleep and I shut the door while storming off to my room.

Bad mommy.bad mommy parenting motherhood mommy life

The thing is, that since day one I have always given my kids until the count of 3 or 3 strikes and you’re out.  And I don’t ever stray away from that plan.  They should know by now that if mommy gets to three…there is NO GOING BACK **said in momster voice**.  I wasn’t going to give into my son’s meltdown to finish the book when I had warned him during the reading that he was about to hit 3 strikes.

So why does it make me feel like a such a bad mommy?

Domesticated Momster Signature

I am linking this post with the following fab linkys:

My Random Musings
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday
A Bit Of Everything

47 comments

  1. I think your kids and my kids should get together and go bowling. LOL! Most of my issues are with my 8 year old, especially around getting up in the morning, brushing teeth, taking a shower, doing homework, and bedtime. Whew! The thing is, once I start getting mad, my teenager comes out and starts giving me an attitude about me yelling at his younger brother. I get it. He’s protective and he has unfortunately seen me at some of my worst moments, but then I have to tell him to watch his attitude, then he gets mad and storms off. Meanwhile, Conner is still arguing with me too. This just happened to me the other night actually. It will get easier. I do the three strikes you’re out thing too but it never seems to stop them from doing what they do. I think by sharing this you will find you’re not alone girlie! I can’t tell you how many times, especially when they going through the two’s three’s and four’s, I had about lost it. It doesn’t help that I am also with my kids, a lot. I can’t even remember the last time I was away from them for 24 hours. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I give you so many kudos girl for doing parenting on your own…even though my husband works about 100 hours a week…he’s still here to help sometimes. Thanks for taking the time to read my “whoas me” tale and leaving such an awesome comment. 😘

      Liked by 1 person

  2. There is something universal that brings us together on a daily basis and it is definitely the mummy meltdown. What makes me angry is when women don’t admit and share. Let the guilt slide off like an egg in a teflon coated frying pan – you are doing the best you can and that my friend is good enough. I know between when this happened and now you have smothered that kid in love and care and that is the part they will never forget. Don’t underestimate how stretched mums to larger than your average families are. Sometimes we tear. It is how we repair that matters. You are AWESOME! Mel xx #abitofeverything

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you my fellow mommy! Words to this mommies ears. I know as mother’s we all have struggles and days of “the crazy lady” and I think sometimes it’s good to just be honest about it. Thanks for popping over love and leaving such a wonderful comment.

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  3. You feel bad because no matter how bad it gets or how difficult the kids are being, we expect ourselves to always keep our cool! Which I think is silly really: we’re only human after all. Moms lose their cool too sometimes, happens to me more often than I would like to admit and I’ve only got the one toddler for now!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think sometimes even society forgets that we are only human…that’s why I had to discuss the commercial that showed this “oh so fake” family sitting around the morning breakfast table…all calm and collect like that’s somehow what it’s like in the “normal” household. I think “real” moms have meltdowns…and I think that it is ok regardless if you feel guilty…feeling guilty just means you love your child but they drive you CRAZY! I could go on and on here…*trailing off mumbling*

      Liked by 1 person

  4. You are NOT a bad mummy, you are a normal mummy. My friend has been having trouble with homework and her 5 year old & went in to talk to the school. They have agreed homework at the weekends only as he is just too young to cope. Might be worth a try & you so need a spa day lovely xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He actually does really great with his homework. I have him do it right after dinner and all I have to do is read the directions and he gets it. It was just late when we got around to the reading that night and we were both not functioning well. Last night went so smoothly. Thanks for your kind words Laura. I told my hubby that’s what I want for Christmas…a day at the spa with like a two hour massage lol.

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  5. Woah I’ve just posted a similarish post this morning, relating to my ‘tween’ – you have your hands full with three and I feel your pain. We’re all in this together. It does make us feel bad, but at the end of the day we’re all human and I think your 3 strike rule is a great idea.
    Hugs your way
    Sammy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. I know that as mothers we are all faced with “bad” days. I always try to reason with my kids before getting to a yelling state but sometimes it just doesn’t register unless I say it in a “stern” voice. I really don’t like yelling but it gets the best of me sometimes. That’s why it was just better for me to go into my room, shut the door, and turn the tv up…I also got in the shower and just melted away the day.

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  6. This probably sounds bad of me to say, but I honestly don’t see what you did wrong in this situation. You didn’t drop kick him out the window (lol & joking obviously) you gave him 3 chances to stop messing, he didn’t & you followed through. I would have done the same thing. And as a sidenote, homework can be a huge cause of stress. They are in school all day & then there’s work to do at home. Bedtime is a really hard time to do it too. I try to get it done after school or before 5pm because there’s a less chance of one of us having a meltdown. You are doing a fab job, you are a dedicated & loving mom so let the guilt go! And like Laura said, go for a spa day! 🙂 x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. My worst mummy meltdowns came when my boys turned into teens. I have in the past thrown everything on my boys bedroom floor in the bin because he refused to tidy up his room (including his mobile phone) and cut the plugs off my other boys music system because he refused to keep the volume to a decent level. Fair to say they hated me for a few days, but they learnt a lesson, and they are the only times I have had ro fo psycho mummy on them.
    I dont think your a bad mom at all xx
    Thanks for linking up, Tracey xx #abitofeverything

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  8. I’m not looking forward to the stress of before and after school. At least, right now, Tyger only has preschool three mornings a week and no homework to worry about and Bear isn’t even at that point yet.

    You weren’t in the wrong, though it’s hard not to question yourself when you know your child’s upset.

    #AnythingGoes

    Liked by 1 person

  9. *hugs*
    I know exactly how you feel hon, please try not to beat yourself up about it you’re only human. Like yourself I am constantly with my two girls a part from when my eldest is at school. The only time I have gotten time to myself or I’ve been away from them is when I was in hospital. I find myself constantly turnin in to the dreaded MOMSTER!! I think some time apart would do us the world of good even if it’s just a child free dinner but even that doesn’t happen, as we simply have no one to watch our girls even just for an hour.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes we are lucky that we do at least have a teenager to watch the little ones so that daddy and I can have a date night, although lately those don’t happen much just due to schedules. We have no family that is close in order for us to take a vacation but someday we will be empty nesters and look back at how fast it went by.

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    1. I think for me it’s feeling guilty cause there is so much other stuff going on my life right now and my kids deserve my utmost attention and not the partially coherent mommy. People ask me what’s it’s like having 5 kids…truth is I don’t know any other way. I just keep on keeping on lol. Thanks for popping over!

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  10. Nice to hear a similar tale to my own madness and Mummy meltdowns.. Sorry though, sometimes it just feels rotten. Sounds like you’re doing great with 5 in comparison to my 2! Love reading your posts! Good luck and hope you get some ‘me’ time soon 😊

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  11. He will probably get over it long before you do! I think everyone has these moments, they are what make us human. It doesn’t make you a bad mum, you are there for your kids constantly!
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes
    Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He gets over it quickly and then once we have both had a little time to “heal” I then sit down and explain why I was upset…I do that with the girls too…I stick to the punishment but later give them lots of love …parenting is a tough gig lol thanks for hosting Debbie!

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  12. This is great and as a Dad I can also relate to the morrning and night time craziness as it all rings true with me too and that’s just with 2 kids! You definitely don’t sound like a bad mummy, just a normal one! 🙂 Thank you for sharing #KCACOLS

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  13. You are NOT a bad mummy you are actually a GREAT mummy and very caring!! Sometimes we all have those days that we can’t cope anymore and our patient is really little so anything gets bigger that what it is. I understand you very well because I have been there and I wouldn’t say we are bad mummies just normal human beings! We just do all we can to be the best we can but it can’t be all the time perfect of course there are difficult days and things don’t go to plan. Dealing with homework here is always a struggle!! My 5 year old is very distracted and like to do tantrums for everything!! I send lots of love and kisses from here!! Thanks so much for joining me at #KCACOLS. You have been always so supportive. You are amazing Trista!! 🙂 xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Franca! What an amazing comment. No one ever said parenting was easy…but I take the good with the bad and know that it’s a bond I am building with my children. They need boundaries and sometimes they feel the need to break them. Little humans they are. Thanks so much for hosting…I still have to come over to do my commenting. I have taken a few days away from the blogosphere to catch up on my personal life…❤️

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  14. Domesticated Momster

    Meltdowns prove you are human. Just as you hope to teach your children that it is okay to make mistakes, you have to allow yourself the same grace. You want them to experiment, test out things, which will often backfire. But they learn from those mistakes.

    As a parent, especially with practically no time off from child rearing, the strain has to get to you or else you aren’t truly human.

    Okay, having said all that, I still carry around scenes in my head of major failures with my son and daughter, and those happened last century!

    So back to “stories with a side of wine,” maybe we just have to try to have a nice, accepting conversation with ourselves …. and the brace for the next day!

    Good luck

    Steven
    P.S. – seems male faces are rare here – hope I did not intrude… but then again, Tikeetha sent me – http://athomaspointofview.com/2016/01/14/momsterslink-jan-14-2016/

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Everyone is welcome to my blog! Thank you for the great advice. I know as a parent we have breaking points and my kids are beginning to understand why mommy takes 15 minutes to her room with the door shut to regroup herself. Mornings are always my favorite time because all of us are refreshed and ready to proceed with the day. I have great kids so I really can’t complain much…and I figure in here, active in their lives, kissing their boo boos, tucking them in at night. All kids really need is love and consistency. Thanks again for dropping by to say hello!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Sounds like you’re doing everything as best you can, so your kids are lucky. Good luck!!

    ….. And when they turn into teenagers, check out the book “Get out of my life that first rule you take me and Cheryl to the mall” by Wolfe – I found it to be a good resource

    Liked by 1 person

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