friends friendships relationships best friends

Friends

Daily Prompt Writing Challenge

 

I have had many friends come and go throughout my life.

When we are young it’s so easy to make friends.  We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”.  Instant friendship.  I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram.  I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.

Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did.  Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook.  Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat.  And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e.  These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.

Next are my pre-children friends.  They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice.  I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun.  But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.

friends friendships relationships best friends

So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone.  I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days.  The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth.  He just cooed and smiled at me.  I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.

Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies.  At first it was just plain weird for me.  It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult.  By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with.   I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them.  And 3 of the 5 are related to one another.  Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me.  But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.

I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime.  The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.

Thelma and Louise friendships friends best friends

The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.

I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging.  People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends.friends friendships online social media  And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.

Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face.  That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult.  As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”.  Sad but true.

 

Yours truly,

domesticated momster signature

I am linking this post with the following fab linkys…

ethannevelyn
A Bit Of Everything
Run Jump Scrap!

49 comments

  1. LOVE the quote at the beginning of the post…it’s so true about friends…keep the people in your life who make you happy; you don’t need people who don’t support you or have negative energy

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I live by that. I’ve had to walk away from friendships because of the negativity or drama that I couldn’t stand to deal with anymore. Thanks so much for dropping by and taking the time to read and comment :))

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  2. That is so true about how you may have never talked to your neighbors but talk to your blog friends every day… I have always kind of struggled a bit with friendships. Well actually after high school it’s harder- you do everything with your friends then. Then you all graduate, get your own lives, and see each other every now and then.Then you kind of have to start over. I only have about 3 close friends right now… many that I have lost contact with, partly my fault, too. I find it difficult to balance friendships, blogging, school, work, relationship, etc.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes it is hard to juggle it all. And I’m a lot of introverted as well so going up to someone and striking up a conversation is about as pleasant for me as pulling my teeth out. But now get a few drops of alcohol in me and I’ll talk to ANYONE lol. Thanks for dropping by and taking the time to read and comment :))

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  3. I absolutely love the quote you have used. This is so poignant and true my love. I tend to refer to it as friend phases – apart from the octopus friends who are going nowhere. I’ve superglued them on. New friends, new situations, common interests sometimes pass through, some stay, some go. Great post #abitofeverything

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    1. Thank you. After writing the post I really started to think about my friendships through the years and how ones that I thought would last forever faded. Sure I still see them on Facebook but the friendship has faded so badly that I actually feel like deleting them. Thanks for popping over and taking the time to read and comment. :))

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  4. Very true, and it is amazing how many friends come in and out of our lives over the years. I can think of so many people that I genuinely think a lot of but just don’t see any more as life just seems to take over. I do have a couple of octopuses though πŸ˜‰

    Dawn x
    #abitofeverything

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  5. This is so true! I’m sure by now you’ve read my two friend posts that I wrote months ago and I feel the same way you do. It is also true that we make friends so much easier when we are children but it gets harder as we get older. I was just thinking about this last weekend when I took Conner to two birthday parties and at both of them he met new friends, along with some from his class. I watched how this 9 year old kid so easily goes up to the other boys (not girls because at this age, he thinks girls have cooties, LOL), and says, “Hi, I’m Conner and I like Minecraft. What’s your name?” And from there, a friendship is born. I have few true friends that I don’t actually talk to much because of our busy mom lives but when we do talk, it’s like we were never apart and those friends are childhood friends. Since becoming an adult, finding true friends has been really hard. Friends I thought would always be there aren’t because like you said, as we grow up we become opinionated and everyone has different opinions, which makes it harder for us. We also become jaded, especially our generation who were basically raised on cynicism. I’ve also become pickier about who I let into my life because I am at a point in my life where toxic people need not apply. I have also made some fantastic blogging friends too, you being one of them, and it does boggle the mind how easily I can talk to someone and click with someone I don’t really know online but in person, I’m much more reserved and non-trusting of people that I’ve known for years. Coming at ya from #abitofeverything

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think this topic has been a real struggle for me the past couple years. Since moving here two years ago I feel so isolated and especially since I’m not working. I do have one good friend here but she works and is in a new relationship so we don’t spend as much time together as we used to. I have my hubbys friends from work but only see them when hubby is off for they all work the same shift. I will get there. Everything takes time. Thanks for popping over my blogging friend :))

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  6. Hey wanna be my friend? such a lovely honest post and I agree with so much of what you say … I long ago found that friends can be transient and right for you at that time but through differing life circumstances they can change and that’s OK … I’ve come to accept that and as Ive got older I realise that really I don’t want a whole lot of friend but just really really good ones. And you’re so right about the blogging community – a whole network of friends that are so similar in their outlook on life for their sheer need for the love of writing and generally be interested about other people’s lives and caring #abitofeverything

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    1. There are many days I wish that some of my blogging friends were my neighbors lol. I often wonder that if I met my neighbors through social networking if things would be different. We live in a day and age where social media has become almost a necessity. I know that blogging saved me. Thanks for popping over and saying hello!

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  7. This is so true and I particularly love what you’ve said about how you can have friends through blogging who you’ve never even met but speak to most days yet the neighbours are virtual strangers – so so true! Thanks for this lovely honest post xx #abitofeverything

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  8. This was just the post I needed today!! I’ve been feeling so miserable lately about letting go of failing friendships. I feel let down by so many friends I thought would be in my life for ever, who just abandoned me when I had a family, and haven’t acknowledged the existence of my children, despite my asking if they’d like to see them (that hurts more than their indifference to me.) I’ve been full of hurt, anger, a whole load of emotions over it. I have a great group of mum friends, and surprised myself by how easily I made them. I just hope that when everyone is back at work, and children are at school, that we can maintain those friendships. I go to a lot of toddler groups alone, and have tried to strike up conversations with other mums, and have often been rebuffed! Like you say, it’s like people are frightened or find it too weird when strangers try and talk to them!
    I love your quote, I think I just need to accept that some people have left my life for a reason! Great post!
    #abitofeverything

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    1. Thank you! I’m glad you got something from it. I have had such a difficult time since moving away from the 20+ years of life I had built. But even before I left I felt like friendships had disappeared. Like somehow I wasn’t fun anymore cause now I had kids to take care of. Granted I wasn’t into partying anymore but I could still have a couple cocktails and some conversation. In 10 days I get to see some of my “Thelmas” so I’m totally excited about that!

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  9. I think it’s strange how people come and go especially after kids. There are a few I’m not in touch with now but yet I have made more friends sinc kids via antenatal groups. I’m like you though…believe in a few soulmates. Those are the ones I want to be friends with forever. Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst

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  10. sounds very familiar. The big difference for me is that I still work, so there are a few people there that I can stand, and even a few that I actually like. Have fun with your girls – always nice to be able to get one of those nights

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This is such a lovely post, all so true and I found myself nodding along. I have had times in my life where Ive really found out who my true friends are, and it has hurt terribly to lose friendships but in their place came new friendships who have helped me through some really tough times. I love the quote! There’s no way I am ever getting rid of my best friend, she is cemented to my face that’s for sure! #bestandworst

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  12. We should so bring that back! The ‘wanna be friends’ club! I’d be up for it!! πŸ˜€ I love your quote too. I think it’s fine to only have certain octopus friends. Too many is tough to manage!! πŸ™‚ #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

  13. There is nothing quite like true friends and I don’t think it matters how you met or whether it is an on line friendship or real life, it is trust and being there for eachother that makes friendship special. #fabfridaypost

    Liked by 1 person

  14. It is amazing how much friendships change when you have a child. I actually find it easier to make friends now, because Mums just have something in common. You are right though, true friends do stick, forever. I have a couple of friends who I haven’t seen for about 18 months, but I know that when we do next meet up, we will chat about old times as if they were yesterday and will have really personal conversations about our lives today. Pen x #FabFridayPost

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    1. My list of friends is getting smaller and smaller. I’m just too old and strapped for time to be wasted on fair weather people. Truly I’ve discovered my husband is really the only one who has my back no matter what. Thanks for popping over and taking time to read and comment!

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  15. I think one of the reasons we strike up friendships here in the blogosphere is authenticity. After all, being real and genuine should be core in relationships. I think thats why this happens, and well works! Thansk for this #FabFridayPost!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s so easy to start relationships sitting behind a computer screen. Heck I even met my husband that way. Maybe I should start a Facebook page for my neighborhood lol. Thanks for popping over and reading and commenting! Always much appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

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