laundry SAHM stay at home parent

Why Do We Do This As A Stay At Home Parent?

 A recent meme I saw sparked the idea for this posthusbands SAHM stay at home parents humor

Now who out there does this as a stay home mom?  Or dad even?  Instead, just picture the picture with say Seth Rogen running and Jennifer Anniston holding the door.

The “working” parent is coming home and we suddenly hit this “need to set fire to the house immediately” psycho-bitch-mom from hell mode.

stay home parent set fire housework

We start yelling asking the kids to please pick up PICK UP YOUR F*CKING SHIT PLEASE and running around like lunatics.

Why do we do this as a stay home parent?

Why do we do this to ourselves…period?

There are days when I really feel more like, it could only be one thing that survived today and it wasn’t the house.  #sorrynotsorry

Actually to be honest…it’s probably most days.  It’s either I look good, the kids are alive, or the house is clean.  2 out of 3 isn’t bad right?

If you were someone to drop by my house on any given afternoon, without notice, there would be toys, pillows, blankets, laundry, dishes, wrappers…etc. (This post would be too long if I listed everything so we will just go with those few).  But I also presume that you are coming to visit me and not my house.  Although, I might ask that you sign a waver before entering the premises just in case you were to slip, trip, or fall on something sharp.

But if you were to get here 10 minutes after my husband got home…you would think I had a maid.  This also goes for people who let me know before they drop by because we all know that we do our best cleaning 20 minutes before someone is coming over, right?

Somehow, we stay at home parents have come to the notion that if our houses are a mess then we are somehow failing at the “job” portion of our stay at home parenting.  I feel that my job is the house and that parenting is just that…parenting.

But now let’s get into whose “job” out of both parents is a more labor involved occupation.

Housework is filled with labor.  No, it’s not hard work, doesn’t take using your brain much, but it’s a lot of moving around.  There’s  bending over, climbing, lifting, squatting, and … you follow.

Laundry alone is a full-time job on it’s own.  There’s the gathering up of small children’s clothes usually by means of squatting to the floor, or the climbing over the bedroom furniture,  because they haven’t quite mastered the laundry basket yet.  Even though you have rehearsed it with them at least a hundred times….just this week.

laundry SAHM stay at home parent

Then it’s lifting the large sized basket of clothes, to the laundry room, that you know damn good and well shouldn’t have this many clothes in it.  Nope, this laundry basket is full because they like to take stuff off the hangers and put it on for 2 seconds, that I don’t see them, and then throw it on the floor.   **grits her teeth**

Then it’s bending over to stuff all the clothes into the washing machine.  I even have front loaders, but I am a tall girl, so I still have to bend.

The transfer from washer to dryer….easiest part of the job.

The worst part is putting all the damn shit clothes away.  There are some days I feel like just shoving the clothes in the drawers, wrinkled, and calling it a day.  **reaches for wine glass and switches on Pandora**

And let’s not forget bedding and towels.  I kid you not…I will wash one of the little monsters bedding and inevitably that night one, if not all 3 will either throw up or pee the bed.  Or have a case of pink eye in which then the sheets have to be washed everyday for the first few days.  To make and unmake a bed you must bend, lift, squat, and climb.  And cuss…a lot…because the corners are NEVER right!

I just got back from vacation so of course I am chin deep in laundry.  So for today the rest of the house will just have to look like I have 3 small children and a teenager who live here.

Possibly the rest of the week.  Oh shit, there’s daddy now…yeah I’m still sitting here.

What do you do as a stay home parent?  Do you tidy up before the other parent gets home? Let me know in the comments!

domesticated momster signature

I’m linking this post with the fabulous following linkys…

Cuddle Fairy
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
Best of Worst

78 comments

  1. Aaah the washing…agree doing it is not the end of the world, putting the bloody clothes away…forget it! I seem incapable of getting to that point…it drives me insane.
    And yep I get the messy house thing – the doorbell rang today, I did a quick look around then…didn’t answer it. Was too embarrassed in case it was someone I had to invite in! Suffice to say I’ve now tidied the obstacle course, train set, random clothes, balls etc debris away and happy for anyone to come calling tomorrow. Well tomorrow first thing anyway! Hope you had a fab holiday x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes there are times I won’t answer the door bell either and the kids will even be looking through the door so whoever is out there knows someone is home. If it turns out it was a friend I just tell them I was in the bathroom lol.

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  2. Although I might ask that you sign a waver before entering the premises – hahaha (funny)

    Just recently, I’ve been harping on the kids (10 and 12) to get their rooms picked up because daddy was on his way home. We didn’t want daddy getting mad because they sat on their tablets all day and didn’t make their beds or hang a shirt.

    See, I love this whole new thing of separate rooms. (We sold our condo recently, lived in a hotel for 10 days) and finally made it into our temporary 3 bedroom apartment. For the first time, they have their own rooms. BUT with that comes new responsibility they are learning. For instance, they can’t blame each other for a messy room. They are responsible for ensuring clothes make it into their new rolling hampers, that they need to roll to the washing machine, wash, toss in dryer, and pull out and fold/hang on their own. My 10 year old girl, finds this fascinating until the folding/put away part. My 12 year old son, not really happy about any of it. Sorry, you wanted your own rooms. Oh, start making your beds. WHAT? Yup, you now have to make your beds too. dad’s coming home, OMG, get it done…he’s going to be upset (not really, but they don’t know that.)

    Wait until they realize they will be helping with dinner once/twice a week. I’m going to ensure they can at least make Hamburger Helper, and get things into a crock pot. My son complains about every meal, so now he has to help prepare something at least once (or twice a week) Of course, this takes more effort on my part, and more fighting to get him to help…so the IDEA is there. Whether it makes it to the planning and execution stages, who knows. I suppose I should just focus on them doing their own laundry and making beds right now. But, they do like watching those cooking shows!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My husband doesn’t really care either. But he does have a tendency to make comments that could lead one to wonder if he wasn’t implying that it did bother him.

      That’s great that your kids have their own rooms now. I need to pop over to your blog and do some reading. Kids having their own rooms makes it much easier when it’s timeout time too.

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  3. This post made me burst out laughing. Mr calls me before he comes home from work to find out if he should get something from the store on his way home. The minute I put down the phone I start cleaning like a maniac. I guess it’s because I don’t want him to think I’ve been doing nothing all day, even though I’ve been doing everything! I packed his lunch, got the kids dressed, homeschool the youngest, fetch the oldest from school, help her with homework, cook, clean, write, care for the dogs (I could go on forever). We have an iron as you go policy here. I’m not going to iron anything I don’t have to. There is one law though my house will always be the messiest when my mom (who is a neatfreak) comes over. It is like the kids can smell her coming and they go insane all day.

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  4. HAHA!! Oh, the laundry is the worst!! I don’t even like the part where I have to throw it in the dryer because I have to sort through things that need to air dry. I don’t put any of my daughter’s cotton shirts or pants in the dryer because I’m notorious for shrinking everything. We don’t have a clothesline, so I end up hanging clothes all over the house because the drying rack gets full quickly. My house looks like a laundromat half the time! Oh, the joys of stay at home chores. πŸ˜‰ xx

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    1. I’m starting to see the end of the vacation pile. Now I just have half a dozen other things to catch up on and I’ll be great! Thanks for popping over and reading and commenting…always appreciate it! Hope you are doing well my friend!

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    1. I’m torn between wanting to return to work and wanting to be able to never miss a moment in my children’s lives. I never want to miss a game, recital, school play, and I know that if I return to work I will miss some of those things. Big decisions to make in the next year.

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  5. Oh gosh. I DO tidy up before NW gets home and I’ve only just realised it … perhaps this evening I’ll make a concerted effort not to and see what happens. I know when I go back to work it won’t happen, so it’s probably better to ease him in gently! #bloggerclubuk

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  6. This really made me laugh and I’m so with you. My hubby always comes home just at the witching hour when I’m trying to cook tea and the kids go batsh*t crazy throwing toys all round the house and screaming. I’m sure he thinks the whole day goes off like this. I don’t tidy up for his arrival though. I sometimes take the opportunity to observe just how much toot the kids have managed to fling, but that’s about it! Great post!
    #bestandworst

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    1. Yes there are some days I leave the mess just so he can see what I go through while he’s gone and I also laugh on his days off when he tries to tell them to keep their toys in their rooms…like somehow he forgets they’re kids. Thanks for popping over!

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  7. Im a ‘work at home’ mother, and I am so lazy with the housework. But in between actually earning money, making myself look semi-okay for the school run and of course the school run which in itself takes me two hours every day of walking back and forth…that and my partner works until midnight and I’m in bed so I don’t really care what he thinks when he comes in because I don’t have to deal with the moaning! Anyway, that’s what saturday mornings are for, family cleaning day! #bestandworst

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes we do major cleaning on Sundays. Every surface gets deep cleaned and everyone pitches in. But I try to keep things in control during the rest of the week and sometimes I fail. Oh well…life goes on and the mess will still be there tomorrow. Thanks for popping by and commenting :))

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  8. Oh I love this! It’s so true especially the bloody laundry! I do always try to make sure the house is clean and tidy when hubs gets home – I don’t know why, he knows how hard I work looking after baby boy but I still feel I have to make sure he has a lovely home to come home to xx #BloggerClubUK

    Liked by 1 person

    1. There’s some days I just say “I don’t care” and he claims he doesn’t care but then will make comments that aggravate me. I also feel that when its his days off its my days off from housework :)) only fair. Thanks for popping over and commenting! Would love to have you join me for my linky Momsterslink ~ April 14, 2016 – Domesticated Momster
      https://domesticatedmomster.com/2016/04/13/momsterslink-april-14-2016/ every Thurs-Sun!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m on maternity leave but always make sure the house is sorted before my husband gets home. I am lucky though that he’s well house trained and will get the hoover out without any prompting! #bloggerclubuk

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  10. Loved the meme and the inspiration (also think Melissa McCarthy is a super cool bird). I work from home (I illustrate stuff in a ‘hole under the stairs office’ in our living room!) I’m surrounded by the crap and detritus and mess I haven’t tidied up. Do so love wading through lego or even better stepping on the sharp bits on the way to make a coffee. Luckily my hub works from home a lot so he doesn’t know anything but mess and we get to share not tidying up and painful lego encounters!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Oh yes, the endless mountain of laundry – lots of bending and lifting (I keep reminding myself that it’s good exercise though!) I don’t tidy up before my hubby gets home – mostly because I rarely know what time he will be coming home – he runs his own business and works in the events industry so the hours are unpredictable – I’m lucky if he gets home in time for the kids bedtime, although he often is around to help in the mornings instead when the house is usually a bit tidier having been tidied up once the kids are in bed! He’s also much more untidy than I am so the mess doesn’t bother him as much as it does me.

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  12. Nope I never tidy before my husband gets home – he knows that when I’m taking care of a newly mobile baby, there’s no time for things like washing dishes and picking up toys. That happens after he gets home and can take the baby for a bit – I only have so many hands! #beatandworst

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    1. Yes it’s hard to relax when there’s a mess everywhere. That’s why I try really hard to keep my kids out of my room. It’s the tidiest room in the house and I spend a lot of my free time there. Thanks for popping over to read and comment! Would love to have you link up with me for Momsterslink ~ April 14, 2016 – Domesticated Momster
      https://domesticatedmomster.com/2016/04/13/momsterslink-april-14-2016/ every Thurs-Sun

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  13. This rings true for me too! As a single parent, I don’t have to worry about the other parent coming home so it’s only my own guilty conscious that I have to answer too but when I was married my ex was just as messy as the kids so if he ever came home complaining about the house (which he did do on occasion), I told him to clean his own damn mess first before bitching about the rest of the house, haha! Yep, I was a bitch about that stuff. Now, though after a month of not doing much cleaning at all, or anything else for that matter, I’m still trying to play catch up. I managed to wash the boys’ jeans for them the other day – Go Me!! Popping over from #bloggerclubuk

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    1. Luckily my teen and hubs do their own clothes laundry. But I do all the rest and with 3 little ones it takes its toll on me sometimes. The house gets super cleared every Sunday and then by Sunday night is a mess again lol. When my husband worked out of town and I had a 2, 1, and infant….me and the house always looked like shit and I didn’t care.

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      1. I only have two and it still looks a mess because Conner loves building forts out of blankets and boxes and such and then forgets ALL THE TIME to put away all of his Minecraft toys! I have actually resorted to throwing some of them away so that he gets the point, lol! It works… For about a week.

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  14. Hi Trista, love this. From about four o’clock on wards I start nudging my two to start moving there stuff towards the bedroom, bring in the water, take out the recycling (you know where I’m coming from); the reason being hubby could be home anytime in the next two hours!

    My two are no longer children as such, but still old habits die hard. Looking on the positive side, if hubby never came home I’m not sure things would ever get done.

    xx

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  15. we both work, her 24 hrs, me 33, and we both seem to feel like we do all the housework. There are days when I bust my ass around here just to prove a point. Stupid, really

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  16. Oh, the laundry. I’m currently sitting here looking at Mt. Clothes basket. aka a basket full of about 4 loads of laundry that needs to be folded/put away.
    I definitely understand where you’re coming from when you say you feel like you’ve ‘failed’ as a stay at home parent if the house is a mess. I’m the same way! I think it’s because I want to have something to ‘show-for’ while I was home all the hours my husband was at work. And sure, there’s dinner and a kid who’s alive and well, but if the house is a mess I feel like he thinks I’ve just been sitting around all day.
    I’m not sure why we do it to ourselves. But, it’s really not worth it! Great read (: #bloggerclubuk

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  17. OMG this is hilarious. I’m not a stay at home Mum, however when I get home from work I frantically clean so it looks like I’ve got my work and home life under control. Poor Henry is going to grow up thinking its normal to clean the house in 10 minutes. Failing that he will make a wife very happy one day :o) #bestandworst

    Renee @peonieandme

    ps thank goodness for wine x

    Liked by 1 person

  18. This is so funny, my washing gets washed and dried but can lie in waiting for days and days before anyone (generally me) gets to folding and putting away! No ironing done in this house unless the creases are REALLY bad!! X

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  19. I always rush around doing a last minute tidy before Daddy gets home, I dont know why I dont think he would notice either way ha ha! x #passthesauce

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      1. My hubby can tell as soon as he walks in as well. Mainly because I start ranting before he takes his coat off ha ha! X

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  20. Haha I love this, this is SO me! I always rush around and wash up the pots left from breakfast, try and limit the destruction whilst juggling tea and bath time and a million other things. On the plus side he always feels sorry for me that I am rushed off my feet and I get a little time to myself to relax…or blog!! #BloggerClubUK

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  21. I’m not a stay at home parent yet but my husband knows the deal with me and housework generally so I can’t imagine I’ll be having the house spotless for when he gets home from work! However, like you, I definitely do my best housework in the 20 minutes before visitors arrive! #BloggerClubUK

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  22. er I hit the post comment too soon lol. I definitely don’t tidy up before or after the hubby coming home tbh. He doesn’t expect it and even if he did…have you met me? No you haven’t. Must change that. πŸ™‚ Anyway thanks for linking to #passthesauce

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    1. Thanks for hostessing! And there are times I don’t tidy either…sometimes days in a row but the house does get deep cleaned every Sunday because I literally start to feel the germs lol. And yes I’ve tried taking medication for that.

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  23. As ever this made me laugh out loud! I have the same stress when someone drops in unannounced or I have people coming round. In fact recently because I can not be bothered to do the housework (I have an excuse!) I have stopped asking people round! lol. I am intending on using the next couple of weeks before the baby makes an appearance to get on top of it. But I can not believe how much crap we have in the house! We either need to move or I significantly need to declutter… Thank you so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week xx

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    1. We got rid of so much stuff when we moved that I just don’t understand how we have accumulated so much more stuff now. It drives me bat shit crazy and I just have other things I’d rather be doing like working out and blogging. Some days I just say ef it! It’s a house. It’s lived in by 6 people. Who cares. Thanks for hostessing lovely!

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  24. Yes, the bedding change! Hate changing bedding, and all night time throwing up really does happen the night the bedding was just changed. Literally two hours earlier.

    I have a different issue on the tidying and cleaning. I do it at intervals throughout the day. All is good when he comes home. Two hours later there is miraculously a mess. I spend the evening cleaning and tidying. I get asked why I didn’t do it during the day. I wonder how I could have cleared up a mess that did not exist. #BloggerClubUK

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    1. Mine has pretty much learned that not saying anything is better for our marriage lol. There’s days I just don’t feel like doing anything and others that I’ll do like 20 things all at once. It also always depends on his work schedule…it’s hard for me to do anything when he’s on nights cause he’s trying to sleep during the day and me trying to keep the kids quiet is about all I can master. And laundry of course lol. Thanks for popping over and reading and commenting. Always truly appreciated!

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  25. Haha! My parents in law visited today and like you said those minutes before they arrive is the best clean our house will see until the next visitor arrives. I said to my man that I like living like this, in a clean house but I just can’t keep it up! I don’t really tidy much before he returns home from work… he knows the score!

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      1. I can’t shake the sodding airer that is ALWAYS covered in washing. I’m glad it’s getting warmer here so I can throw the stuff on the line outside. Toddlers ruin everything they wear

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  26. I literally LOL’d. Today was the first time in awhile I could sleep in and didn’t have anything on my plate that HAD to be done. I took advantage of it and then around an hr before my husband got home I felt this ting of panic. So I raced thru and swept, vaccumed, lightly dusted, put away the dishes, and made our bed. I felt at peace then lol. Of course I know he really doesn’t care its something only i torture myself with!! I know I am not alone!

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