other peoples kids discipline

Other People’s Kids

other peoples kids discipline

Before I became a mother, people used to always say “you’ll feel differently about your own kids than you do about other people’s kids”.  There couldn’t be a more truthful statement.

There was a time in my life that I never really wanted kids.  Partly because I couldn’t tolerate other people’s kids.  Sure I had plenty of friends with kids and there were times I would babysit and at one time I even had a friend and her child living with me.  I was around those kids a lot, got used to them, and grew to love them and understand their behaviors.  They were good kids.

kids babysitting humor

Then I would come across kids that weren’t so good.  Whether it was they whined too much, threw too many tantrums, talked back to their parents, or just seemed to not have any discipline WHAT. SO. EVER.  I used to dread when I would get a walk-in client and they had their kids with them (they were usually already throwing a tantrum before they even took a seat)  because inevitably this meant that it was going to take me twice as long to do my job.  Let’s face it, kids aren’t going to sit and be quiet for an hour while you get your nails done.

Now I know that my kids aren’t perfect, and probably get on most people’s nerves, as there are three of them and because they are so close in age they are usually all doing the same thing and making lots of noise while doing it.

And if someone were to tell me that my kids were a lot to handle, I would in no way be offended…I would most likely nod and agree.  But  I am used to them.  And usually have a tendency to get loud and obnoxious with them.  Because they are my kids.

I think that these days we live in a society that has us programmed that disciplining our kids is somehow going to f*ck them up in the head.  Bullshit.

There are people who think that spanking your kids on the ass is a form of abuse.  Bullshit.

There are too many people running around trying to be the “cool” parents instead of saying “NO” and dealing with their kids being pissed off at them.kids discipline productive citezens  Trust me, they will get over it and talking with your kids and explaining things goes a long way.

I think it’s important that when you feel your kids are old enough and mature enough to understand the evil in the world, to explain it to them.  I think my friend Michelle at Rockin Random Mom did that best and explained it in her post about the Brock Turner Story.

This story is a perfect example of a spoiled brat whose father I am quite certain reached deep into his pockets and placed a large amount of money in that greedy judge’s hands.  In case you have been living under a rock you can read about the story here.

It’s just one of the many articles stirring the internet these days.

I have heard people talk about how they teach their kids respect yet I watch them disrespect their parents and the parents sadly don’t correct the behavior. kids respect discipline parenting Teaching them please, thank you, yes sir, no ma’am is all great but if they are then acting out at you, the parent, and you aren’t correcting it, then it’s pretty much pointless.

If they are throwing a temper tantrum because you told them NO and you coddle them instead of taking action…guess what?  Your kid just might turn out to be the next Brock Turner.

Sometimes kids need to learn lessons and not have their parents always bailing them out of these situations.  When a child, whether that child be a toddler, young child, pre-tween, tween, or teenager and they do something wrong it’s our job as parents to correct the problem not ignore it and let them continue to believe it’s ok to behave that way.

And when they are good I also believe in rewarding good behavior.  It goes both ways.

Now please note that all these opinions of raising kids are those of my own and how you choose to raise your kids is completely up to you.  But remember, someday they are going to be adults, making choices, and the better influence you had on them the better adults they will become.

Well unless they are just born with a bad gene … because I do believe too, that some human’s brains are just wired differently and you could be the best parent possible and they could still be a part of the majority of messed up individuals living in society.  Take the Duggers of “19 Kids And Counting” as a perfect example of that.  Of course the first time I ever watched that show I knew that mother was just WAAAAAAY to happy.  No one has that many kids and is that happy.  Seriously.

To All The Good Parents Out There **salutes you**

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I am linking this post with the following fabulous linkys…

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79 comments

  1. I love this post. Funny thing, my kids bother me WAY more than other people’s kids. Because I do feel responsible for their behavior, I do not bail them out or let them get away with things. Other parents on the other hand, well that’s a different story 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey, this is exactly how I feel too. I don’t get too upset with other kids as long as they aren’t messing with my kids or me! I don’t let anything go when it comes to my boys. Maybe I’m too hard at times but they are polite and happy kids so 👍 To that 😊

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    1. And it just makes me wonder why the parent doesn’t correct the situation??? I’d warn my child once and then it would be a smack of the leg. Some parents just have no respect for other people’s space when it comes to their kids. You were a lot more patient then I would have been cause I would have turned around and said something after about the 3rd time.

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  2. Ya other people’s kids are a whole other situation from your own. Especially in situations where they are messing with your kids or kicking the back of your chair on the plane – that’s the worst. I agree – kids will be adults someday & a lot of parents don’t seem to keep that in mind. I’m loving the new theme but I won’t’ get attached to it as I know it will change again soon lol xx

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    1. I literally lol at your comment of me changing my theme! You know me so well but I actually really like this one maybe I’ll keep it …pause….oh who am I kidding! Thanks for popping over and reading and commenting and bringing me 🍀🍀🍀💋💨❤️

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      1. That’s awesome that I brought you some Irish luck!! Just popping back to thank you for hosting the fabulous #momsterlink xx

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  3. You are so right Trista. I was disciplined and I turned out alright. We have an entire generation of Brock’s roaming the planet now. The Mrs. and I, we hold eachother accountable to holding the littles accountable. It is so easy to give in. Stay strong and parent well, so the world can be a better place. #momsterlink

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    1. Too many people popping out kids and then not taking responsibility for them. Kids being raised by grandparents who are too old to be going through it all over again. It’s a serious problem today. Thanks so much for linking up with #momsterslink

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  4. Just had a conversation about this with the husband yesterday. I got spanked as a kid for doing things wrong and have never blamed my parents for it. Today, kids are cursing and disrespecting everything and everyone. It’s sad.

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    1. Yes I hate when I’m at a park with my little ones and there’s a group of teenagers smoking, cussing, and who knows what else. I feel like finding out who their parents are and asking them what kind of kids they think they are raising.

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  5. (In his best W.C. Fields impersonation) I love kids, but I can never finish a whole one.

    Ooh, hope no one takes that the wrong way. I have no kids of my own, that I know of, at least, but if I did, I’d probably be in jail, because I’d raise them the way I was raised, which is now, apparently, felonious. Nice post.

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    1. Yeah that’s the problem the government wants to tell us what to do and not do and then wonder why we have so many assholes running around. I was raised that if I talked back, I was going to lose a tooth. Thanks for reading and commenting … Always love you popping over 😉

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  6. You’re spot on again Momster! You get out what you put in. Children take their cues from you, they imitate what they see, they test the boundaries – What happens if I…? Then carefully note take on your reaction.
    #BloggerClubUK

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    1. Oh I see it all the time. My 6 year olds favorite thing to say to his younger sisters is “you don’t talk to your mother that way” I try hard not to laugh but it’s so funny that he has picked that up from me saying it when I feel they have said something disrespectful. Thanks for popping over!

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  7. Respect. The most important thing we can all be taught aside from kindness. You can’t have one without the other. And now I have the theme song from Married with Children in my head thanks to the last sentence.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lol. Yes respect is taught and trust is earned. It’s our responsibility to send our children into the world as good adults knowing those things. I have one down and 4 to go. And the one leaves for the Army on Aug 16. I am one proud mama.

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  8. I love this! I had a conversation just the other day with a stranger who told me, “Wow you must just love kids right?” and I told her, “Actually no, I can’t stand other peoples children!”. She looked SO shocked that I had to fake a laugh and pretend I had been joking, all the while thinking, I’m serious!! I think other peoples children are way harder to tolerate, especially as you cant disciple them the way you would your own. My kids are no angels and I’m sure other people must find them irritating as hell, but still, I’m sure compared to some of the kids I’ve come across they are a hell of a lot better behaved!!

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    1. I totally agree! I recently had an encounter with a friend and her “only child” who she claims to be teaching respect yet all I saw her do was walk all over her mother. My husband and I run a tight ship around here and some people may think we are too strict but they aren’t raising 5 (now 4) kids.

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  9. I’m a lot more patient with other people’s kids now that I know how dang hard it is. But, I also have zero patience for rude entitled brats, cause their parents let them be that way.

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    1. I see it a lot in this town. Kids who think they are entitled. I was a teenager once and I realize they want the “coolest” of things. I dint get them nor do my kids. My 16 year old now has a job so I’m like you want something different than what I provide then by it yourself.

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  10. I laughed at this because you described me, I am not patient with other people’s kids, I would never say anything but I would quietly fume. It’s just the way of the world! #momsterslink thanks for hosting lovely!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, we all parent differently. But there really are too many parents not parenting at all. Like somehow they are afraid of being the “mean” parent. I don’t want my kids to fear me but I want them to respect me so sometimes that means putting fear into them a time or two along the way.

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  11. lol – its gets really boring listening to them whinge, but it will never turn my no into a yes, I can easily just ‘tune’ them out these days 😉 Im not a huge fan of children in general (my own excused from that sentence of course) buts its not so bad now the kids are older, they tend to NOT want me to do things with them and their friends and that suits me fine. Doing stuff with own kids I love, but other than that…. Im good thanks! (god I sound awful! hehe) #momsterlink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes my teenagers are so different from my 4, 5, and 6 year olds. Today everyone is super cranky from being in a car for 10 of the last 24 hours and this mama is about to start drinking before noon. No one wants to do chores, everyone wants to argue, but then I remembered we have a birthday party to attend to today and so now that is what all their behavior is being based on. Amazing the power of something fun to kick everyone in the ass with. Thanks for linking up doll. Always a pleasure to have you.

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  12. Too many people, parents or singles, seem to get their wires crossed when they talk about discipline because they jump to the conclusion that it’s abuse when it may well not be. I’m the first one to call out those who abuse kids but there is a difference between abuse and discipline. I just watched a video last night with a mother who had a severely autistic son. He died back in May because he had other health issues that eventually took his life at 18. My heart goes out to her. Prior to this though she had posted videos on YouTube to spread awareness of Autism and the struggles that many parents, and their kids, go through.
    Anyway, one video really struck me as she used the video to show how she disciplines him. She disciplines him like any other kid would have been disciplined in that situation but more so because of his condition. I thought she did an amazing job. In fact, at one point I started crying because what she did is what I had to do with my Non-autistic child when he was a toddler and I remember how much I hated it but it had to be done. It’s a good video. What made me mad though was that some young person berated her and called her a bad mom for disciplining him! What the hell? Too many people are quick to judge parents and call them abusive when they discipline their children but if we don’t, no one else will. Humans don’t come into this world automatically knowing right from wrong. That’s the parent’s job to teach them. Thanks so much for mentioning me Trista! If you want to see the video I’m talking about. There are several of them so you can see for yourself what I mean. https://youtu.be/ilxx1ygXm3M Great post as always Trista! #momsterlink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I believe every parent is in their own situation when it comes to parenting. It’s the ones who aren’t parenting at all that I just don’t understand. The one’s who let their children run all over them and not correct it. I am not afraid of the phrase “you’re a mean mommy” anymore. The first time I heard it…it hurt a bit but that’s long gone. Now I just say “good, then I am doing my job right”. Thanks for linking up Michelle. And congrats again on 2 top viewed positions.

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I am so glad I stumbled on your blog! I am also a mom of 5 so I feel your pain. My kids are a lot to handle I agree, however they are not rude or disrespectful. They know better, and they know I WILL NOT tolerate that shit! Gread post!

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  14. OMG I so agree with you on many points, again! I hope I will raise my son well and will be fair but strict. My mum was like that with us and I am very proud of her. She made me a good person. And yes I was slapped if I was naughty, but I always deserved it when it happened. I am so annoyed with parents who don’t deal with their kids and spoil them rotten. Manners are essential, as well as being sociable.
    #momsterslink

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  15. I teach high school and I can vouch for this. I see the product of those parents who let their kids walk all over them. I also see the products of the kids whose parents never make them finish things that are too hard or the kids whose parents have entertained them their whole life. Those kids are not my favourite. While I was always sympathetic to the parent before I had my son, I now fully get how hard it can be. #momsterslink – Thanks for hosting again!

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    1. It drives me crazy when my kids think it’s my job to entertain them. I remember being an only child raised with my grandparents and having to find all kinds of ways to entertain myself. And when my kids get frustrated with something and try to give up on it I tell them to keep trying until they get it right. Then at the end when they have figured it out I remind them how good it feels to have conquered something. Granted I know there are going to be times that they will fail but at least they tried several times before giving up. Thanks so much for linking every week. Truly appreciate it!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I completely agree!! I was brought up with discipline and I am so grateful for that. Also, from a teaching perspective, it is a nightmare when parents do not bring their children up with respect and discipline!!! Thank you for hosting. Great post as always. #momsterslink

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    1. I hold kudos to teachers. I would help in my sons kindergarten class sometimes and could already see, at that young of an age, the kids who weren’t being parented or disciplined. Thanks for linking up! Always a pleasure to have you! And I apologize for being so behind in commenting as I have had a busy week of not being home.

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  17. I was raised up with the idea that we needed to be polite. My mum was very strict with us and I am so grateful for that. I would hate the idea to be a spoilt brat #momsterslink

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  18. Powerful post hon, I totally agree. It might not be the Pinterest parenting that people boast about, but the fact is that we have a responsibility to raise decent and compassionate human beings. This means tackling the issues head on and making decisions that don’t make us the most popular parent in the world (but definitely the more effective!)

    I did also go on to read Michelle’s post for which I have absolute repect.

    Thanks for sharing and for hosting the awesome #momsterslink xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I passionately believe that respect starts with respecting you, as the parent. If they aren’t respecting you then they surely aren’t respecting others. And I see so many entitled kids who wouldn’t know what to do if mommy and daddy didn’t buy it for them. They rely on it entirely too much. Thanks for linking up and the support Dawn. Truly appreciated.

      Liked by 1 person

  19. You go girl – love it! You are spot on with everything you say in this post. I’m still nodding in complete agreement. Alison x #momsterlink

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    1. I know there are many parents who agree. What’s sad is there are so many who are having kids that shouldn’t. Whether it be they are too young, or too selfish. There’s no perfect parenting but respect is something that is taught and so many are not learning from example. Thanks so much for linking up.

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  20. I still only tolerate other peoples kids if I really have to – but don’t tell anyone I said that!!
    Great post – am clapping in agreement with you!! xx

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    1. It’s just easier with your own because you know your own way of disciplining. Believe me there are plenty of times in public that I would like to extend my arm and knock a parent upside the head though lol.

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  21. Preaching to the choir. Good discipline makes kids feel secure, and lets them know you love them. And then other people might like them later – like bosses and spouses.
    Thanks for hosting the Momsterlink!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My husband had two boys when we got together and it was the first time I had been in a relationship with someone who had kids. It wasn’t easy in the beginning and there were times I thought “forget this” but I am glad I didn’t. Thanks for linking up!

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  22. I know a few of these kids. The parents know they’re behaving badly or inappropriately but will not take action, leaving you in the horrible position of wanting to shout ten shades of shit at someone else’s kid. The idiot shall inherit the earth….! Thanks for being a most excellent host for #momsterslink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Drives me batty! See it happen all the time and just don’t know why they think it ‘s ok to be raising menaces of society. Another is absentee parenting. The ones who bring them into the world only to be raised by someone else. Ugh I could go on a on. Thanks so much for linking up.

      Liked by 1 person

  23. I think consistency is the key but also knowing to pick your battles. I do think sometimes walking away is all you can do to keep everyone sane. We’re going have to agree to disagree on the spanking thing though – doesn’t sit well with me to teach a child not to hit but then to do it. Like you say we all make our own choices so no judgement here. #momsterlink

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    1. I really only use spanking as a final and last result. I highly believe in consistency and when I say that I am going to do something I stick to it. For example today there is a bday party we are attending. I told them that every time they do something wrong today or don’t listen that I will put a mark on the board. If they get to 5 marks then there is no party and I will stick to it. So far they have one mark. The party is at 4. Thanks for linking up and I actually like when not everyone agrees with what I have to say 😉

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      1. Phew – I always worry about upsetting people! The real problem comes when you threaten something and you have to go through with it even if you don’t too. Many a cafe trips have ended this way when all I wanted was a bi slice of cake.

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  24. Can’t disagree with anything you say here. I think sometimes people are just too lazy to discipline their kids. It’s not even that they want to stay the “good guy” they just can’t be bothered. And then they act surprised when the kid grows up to be an asshole. #momsterlink

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Exactly! And by then it’s too late. I have one raised and 4 to go. The oldest is leaving for the army on Aug 16th. It’s been a rough year with him but he realized life is only going to be what you make of it. No one is going to help a loser.

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  25. So true! It’s so important to teach children respect. My daughter is only 13 months old, but teaching her right from wrong, to respect others, and how to be a generally good and decent person is a responsibility that weighs heavily on me. I think it’s a big problem when a parent wants to avoid the big issues and be their child’s friend first and parent second.

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  26. Yes! Thank you! I’ve been saying the same thing for quite some time now. Our neighbor is the perfect example of this. He’s 9, and his father allows him to do whatever he wants. His mom tries to discipline him, but the father usually cancels it out. What has resulted is a spoiled, obnoxious, rude kid who loves to boss other kids around and brag about how his dad never says no to him. He actually calls his dad the “Yes Man.” Seriously.

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  27. I really enjoyed reading this. I was just having a conversation with my husband how I have learned that I really don’t like kids. I have always loved kids, even at one point considering being a teacher. As I got older and had my own I have been around a lot of other peoples kids and I just don’t like em much. Lol! (Please note I have a heart and all children are a gift from God!) Came across this post and you have gained a new follower!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. So glad to have you! I think other people’s children are so different from your own because of course we all discipline differently. I recently had an encounter with a friend whose child was one I just can never handle being around. It actually put a strain on our friendship but I always speak my mind and sometimes people don’t like the truth. Nice to connect with you!

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  28. I can really relate to this in so many ways. I’ve always helped with children it’s just a part of my life and helping in general . Through my experience it’s a really hard task it takes a lot to take on the responsibilities that come with children and you have to make sure your together mentally and physically. I’ve had to encounter the children that listen and that ones that just want. It’s a struggle and as of right now in the future i don’t want children. But i will say no matter how hard it gets i will continue to deal with it and help teach them so they will grow up to be great. I commend every parent that always goes far and beyond for there children your awesome.

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    1. Thank you Eri for your kind words :). Parenting is a very tough job…for me it’s always thinking I’m doing something that’s going to mess them up even though their teachers and my peers ensure me what great kids I’m raising so I must be doing something right. Thanks for popping in and taking the time to read and comment.

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      1. Your welcome! Absolutely yea i understand but that’s just part of being a parent .I feel like those thoughts are natural however if everyone around you see the amount of hard work you put into your kids . Then i agree you are a wonderful parent .good job! my pleasure

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  29. It’s so refreshing to see a post talking about discipline and children! We should all talk about it more and share our ideas about what worked and what didn’t. It’s such a tough job and it’s great to find a post like this I can relate to. I’m new to blogging (verysimplemama.wordpress.com) but I’ve already found it’s such a great community to share ideas. Thanks for a great post!

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    1. Thanks for an awesome comment! I think that discipline is very important and that every parent should do what works best for them. I think the problem is there are too many “entitled” kids running around whose parents are so afraid that they will upset them. What do they think is going to happen in the real world?

      Liked by 1 person

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