The Girl In The Window With No Voice

Daily Writing Prompt

girl in window voice abuse neglect motherhood

Lately I have been reading a lot of articles and blog posts about mothers feeling like they are failing at motherhood.  Myself included.

A couple months ago I came across a story about a little girl in the window of a rental house, who some neighbors, that thought no children lived in the house, one day saw the girl peaking out the window.

Sometimes stories stick with you…and you can’t let go of them….this is one of those stories.

The couple who saw the little girl in the window luckily reported it to the police for they had never seen a child and thought that it was only a man, woman, and 2 adult sons that lived in the rental property across the street.

You can read about the rest of the story here.  Please be advised it is a horrible story and one that may stick with you like it has with me.  It would have taken a lot of strength, as the cop who had to enter those premises, not to punch that woman in the face.

The point is, that us mothers that think  we are failing because we had a bad day and yelled at the kids, or we let Netflix babysit for the day so we could get some stuff done.  Even if that stuff getting done meant taking time to ourselves to read a book, blog, exercise, or whatever it may be.

Even if we fed the kids mac and the cheese (it’s what my kids call it) and hot dogs for dinner with slices of cucumbers as a veggie because we just didn’t feel like being in the kitchen for two hours only to hear…”I don’t like this, I want mac and the cheese”.  Even when we take a timeout in the bathroom for 30 minutes and tell the kids we are pooping and to go play.

When we let our kids go to school in mix matched clothes because we don’t feel like fighting at 6:30am about what they are going to wear so we just say fu*k it and let them wear what they want.

Any of those times.

We are still being mothers who love our children.  Who dress our children.  Bathe our children.  Feed our children.  LOVE our children and show that love by hugging them and kissing them and telling them daily that we love them.  Let me assure you …. you aren’t failing and if you think you are then I encourage you to read the story about the little girl in the window.  Because that mother…doesn’t deserve to be called a mother at all.  Yes I am sure she probably had some kind of mental issues but what about the man that lived there or the two grown sons?  Where were their voices?  Why didn’t they speak up?  Were they all just crazy?

There is also a follow up to the story, 9 years later, about the little girl and the courageous family who insisted on adopting her, even knowing the challenges that they would face,  and how they are coping.  You can read that here.

So all you mothers out there that think you aren’t doing it right…if your child is loved…pat yourself on the back…you’re doing it right.

From One Mother To Another,

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Friends

Daily Prompt Writing Challenge

 

I have had many friends come and go throughout my life.

When we are young it’s so easy to make friends.  We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”.  Instant friendship.  I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram.  I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.

Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did.  Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook.  Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat.  And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e.  These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.

Next are my pre-children friends.  They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice.  I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun.  But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.

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So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone.  I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days.  The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth.  He just cooed and smiled at me.  I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.

Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies.  At first it was just plain weird for me.  It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult.  By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with.   I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them.  And 3 of the 5 are related to one another.  Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me.  But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.

I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime.  The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.

Thelma and Louise friendships friends best friends

The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.

I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging.  People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends.friends friendships online social media  And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.

Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face.  That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult.  As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”.  Sad but true.

 

Yours truly,

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Shape Up Or Ship Out

The Daily Post Writing Prompt

“Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.”

 

 

Dear Bitch,

Yes I am talking to you.  The bitch, witch, shrew, she-devil, that lurks around in my head daily and often shows herself to anyone in an ears distance that has done anything remotely maddening irritating to awaken her.

For instance when the husband is chewing…in the same way he has chewed for the past 38 years of his life. ¬†Or perhaps when he falls asleep before me and snores to the point that not only can I not get to sleep but it’s the one and only thing I can focus on. ¬†And why does miss bitch need to come out when I get into the truck to find that he still hasn’t put air in the tires from the last time I drove the truck? ¬†Why? ¬†Is this really a reason to get bitchy?

What about when the kids are all getting on each others nerves and then getting on mommy’s nerves and guess who shows up? ¬†Yep…the bitch.

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Or how about when I have just got done scrubbing the girls bathroom only to go in there 20 minutes later to find that it looks like it wasn’t even cleaned.

Same goes for their rooms.

Is this really a reason to become a raging lunatic bitch?

No wait, that was when my daughter decided to take the hair brush out of the bathroom and after telling her to put it back, of course she didn’t, and at 7:30pm, after showers, and time to brush hair and go to bed…instead mommy is tearing the house apart looking for the damn brush…see even thinking about it is making mommy bitchy! ¬†Why? ¬†It’s just a brush.

How about when the teenager doesn’t do his chores right? ¬†Rushes through them half- assed and knows that it’s one of his step mother’s biggest pet peeves and a sure fire way to provoke the resting bitch.

bitch sleeping attitude personality grumpy daily writing prompt

Almost daily there is something that makes the bitch in me come out and quite honestly I am rather sick of her. ¬†So I have vowed in 2016 not to be so bitchy. ¬†Has it been working? ¬†Well there are good days and there are bad days…but I am learning not to let the bitch take over the entire day, like I used to let her do.

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~My Favorite~

Well I have failed miserably at one of my blogging goals for the year which was to write from the daily post topic a few times a week.  Guess we will shoot for once a month.

This particular topic is titled¬†“My Favorite” ~¬†What‚Äôs the most time you‚Äôve ever spent apart from your favorite person? Tell us about it.

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As much as my husband can rattle my nerves he is still my favorite person.

In 2010 my husband was laid off from his job.  It was when the economy in southern Nevada had taken a serious tank and being a heavy equipment operator, when economy is down, so is construction.

In 2011 he applied for a job in the mining industry and luckily got the job.  The bad part was this was in a town called Ely, NV and it was a 4 hour drive from our home in Southern Nevada.

If you have never been to Ely, Nevada well let me just assure you that you aren’t missing a damn thing because it’s a little piece of nothing in the middle of nowhere. ¬†There’s absolutely nothing, nada, zilch there.Ely Nevada nowhere rural ¬†Well except a McDonalds …those are everywhere. ¬†Therefore, the thought of moving there was not at the top of my priority list. ¬†So instead he commuted home a couple times a month on his days off.

We had a 1 year old, a 2 month old, and about a month later found out we were pregnant with baby #3. ¬†Surprise! ¬†And let’s not forget two older boys who were 10 and 12 at the time.

This meant I was home alone taking care of 5 kids by myself for the majority of 3 years. ¬†It’s equivalent to being a single parent only I didn’t work full time.

It’s true what they say that “absence makes the heart grow fonder”. ¬†I was always happy to see him but knew that the time would be short lived and was always sad after he left. ¬†When my son was 3-years-old, I remember him crying “daddy don’t go bye bye” and standing in the driveway bawling as the little white Jetta we owned drove down the road. ¬†It was then I knew some changes had to be made.

For me it was easy to pop back into my routine after he left but to see my kids missing their daddy…well that was heart wrenching for me.

Luckily some jobs opened up at various other mines and upon being offered a job at several of the ones my husband applied for we decided the best option was where we are now.  It was time to move.mining heavy equipment

Moving has never been easy for me.  I get very attached to my surroundings and friends that I make and the thought of leaving that all behind scared me.  We had to sell a house in an economy that was just barely recovering at the time. Unknown.jpeg And we were pretty insistent that we were going to make the move in one trip using the U-Haul we rented and our truck.  Needless to say I had to make a trip back on my own to pick up the last of a few things and finalize the papers on the house as it actually sold faster than we thought it would.

Now it’s almost 2 years later and even though my husband works a lot and is gone for very long periods of time (16 hours) on the days or nights he does work. ¬†It’s still nice that we all get to see each other everyday…well most days…some days I feel like hitting him with a frying pan he can get on my nerves as well as I am sure I can get on his.

That’s marriage!

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~Childhood Memory~

Today’s Daily Post writing prompt is entitled : “Childhood Revisitedchildhood memories daily writing prompt

childhood memories children friends

My childhood is bits and pieces stuffed away in my head. ¬†It’s funny that there are some parts we remember and other parts we don’t.

I remember very little about my childhood before the age of 5.  I have been told some stories, but when your parents were divorced before you were even a year old, the stories are told by two different people and are two completely different stories.

I think for me the memories that stick with me most are the times my grandparents and I would travel from our home in Rock Springs, WY to the house in Salt Lake City, UT.  I loved that house.  Not because of the house but because of the little girl and her very large family that lived next door. Her name was Katie and she had like 10 brothers and sisters.

Their house was 4 stories and huge! ¬†And I just remember that I wanted so much to just stay there because there was always so many kids and Katie and I were inseparable. Like as soon as my grandparents bright red old style cadillac would pull into the driveway I couldn’t get out of it fast enough and run to her house. ¬†I was an only child and spent a lot of time by myself. ¬†I longed for siblings my age.

Our favorite thing to do was play hide and seek in her house.  There were so many places to hide.   So many places to play.  And her family always made me feel like I was one of their own.

There was a huge park right next to her house if I remember correctly.  Or maybe it was her yard.  These memories are all around the age of 3-5.

We ended up moving to Las Vegas, NV after I finished kindergarten and my grandparents sold the house in Salt Lake, UT. ¬†I tried to visit Katie one time later in my youth. ¬†My dad had taken me by there to visit but she wasn’t home. She was away visiting somewhere if I remember correctly. ¬†I still think of her from time to time and wonder how her life turned out. ¬†I don’t have a last name. ¬†I remember once while I was in Salt Lake I tried to find the house with no prevail.

But the memories of the fun we had remain imbedded in my head forever.

She was was not only my first real childhood memory but also my first childhood best friend.

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