Quote Of The Week ~ Aug 5, 2016

This has been a very emotional week.  Not only did we put our oldest son Bryan on a plane yesterday to embark on his next chapter of life, joining the Army, but my husband also lost a niece to suicide.

She felt that what people were saying about her on social media was more important than her own precious life.

She felt that taking her own life was the only answer and has only created more heartache than any parent should ever have to endure.

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There has been a GO FUND ME account set up for funeral costs which is located here.

Hug your kids, tell them you love them, and start teaching them that what people say or think about them DOESN’T MATTER! ¬†Teach them to love themselves and have confidence.

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What’s Happening Today?

Every time I turn on the news these days there is some kind of hate crime happening.  It leaves me asking myself daily “What’s Happening Today?”.

We the people” starts with YOU as an individual.  In order to have a strong, good, and kind community…you need to first start with who YOU are.

You want to change hate…start with yourself first.

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Be a good person.  Hold a door open sometimes when you see someone coming in behind you.  Smile or give someone a compliment.  Follow through with acts of kindness…don’t just “think” about doing them all the time.

Don’t cause harm to other people.

Help someone in need once in awhile.  (I know this is a tough one as it’s hard to help those who don’t want to help themselves)  But at least you can say you tried.  At least you can say you tried to be a better person.

It’s not about who’s standing beside you…it’s about who YOU are.  How YOU treat people.  How YOU react to things.  It’s the choices YOU make.

It’s not about what our ancestors did to one another but what we are doing to each other today…the here and now.  Yesterday is gone.  TODAY is here.  And it’s time to change.

The person standing beside you didn’t tell you what choices to make.  Of course this rules out your parents.  Yeah maybe your parents didn’t make some good choices which then caused a failure in choices for yourself as well.

So then change who you are right now.  TODAY.  Let your past remain in the past and not make you into a miserable person.  *could use a dose of her own medicine*

Don’t become a hateful person.

I don’t care what nationality you are, I don’t care about your religion or your political views, I don’t care what your sexual preference is (as long as you’re not a pedifile), or what you and your lover do in your bedroom. I DON’T CARE….as long as you aren’t out to harm innocent people, then be whoever the fuck you want to be.

Just be kind.

KINDNESS MATTERS.  Because without it then no. person. matters.

I can’t even begin to touch the irony of a man tired of the hate crimes against his nationality by policemen but then goes and shoots INNOCENT PEOPLE! hate crimes corruption evil People who had nothing to do with the original controversial act.  Just because they were policemen.  Now that’s a true act of HATE.

Hating another human being who you know nothing about.

Hating them so much that you, as a human being, just want to kill another human being for NO REASON.

For no reason other than HATE.

I don’t care who you are…if you are a corrupt, dishonest, unethical, untrustworthy, fraudulent, EVIL individual then you are a menace to this society.  To your community.  You are POISON to humanity.

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So think about who YOU are.  Change who YOU are if you are unhappy with who you are.  Because change doesn’t happen unless change in yourself happens first.

Don’t be the poison of humanity.

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~What Will I Do For Work~

Lately I have been thinking a lot about what I really want to do when I go back to work, if in fact I do go back to work. ¬†That too is still in discussion. ¬†With the kids school and sports schedules it’s almost impossible.

I am blessed that I have a husband that works really hard to provide for his family and I don’t really need to work. ¬†I do make a little extra money on the side doing odds and ends like photography, graphic design, waxing eyebrows (I am trying to convince my friends to get their who-has waxed with no prevail, so far…they think it hurts or something), ¬†but not an amount of money to brag about by any means. ¬†I would probably make more money if I was a stripper advertised more but somehow one day goes by and then the next and then I just say f*ck it! ¬†Maybe next week.

I just renewed my Aesthetician and Nail Technician licenses just in case I do decide to return to the field that I spent 20+ years in.  I could write a book with the stories I heard over the years.

The best one was I had 3 lovely ladies that were all going to the same church. ¬†Two of them, without the knowledge of the other, were having affairs with the pastor of the church…who was married…AND GIVING MARRIAGE COUNSELING.cosmetology nail technician aesthetician work ¬†And the third lady kept trying to convince me that I had to come to her church because her pastor was such a wonderful person. ¬†Yeah, and I managed never to say a word…and people wonder why I am not religious.

I really loved working in the industry and am toying with a few ideas if I do decide to return to it.  I mean where else can you get paid to sit around and gossip all day?
But there is also a side of me that would really like to try something different which is why while I have been home with the kids I started doing photography which then lead to graphic design.  But I realize that I need a lot more training as there are so many new and interesting programs to use.  And everything costs more money to get into.

I have toyed with several ideas of businesses to open in this small little town I live in. ¬†One of the ideas someone else did and guess what? ¬†It’s striving! ¬†Which makes me want to stab myself in the eye for not listening to my instincts and just do it.

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I am also currently looking into getting Domesticated Momster trademarked. ¬†Did you know it can take up to two years to get a name trademarked and that’s with a lawyer? ¬†Absurd if you ask me.

My biggest decision about returning to work is that I don’t want my kids to miss opportunities because I decided to go back to work. ¬†I don’t want them to have to sacrifice their happiness for my selfishness.

And let’s face it “MOM” really is the best title on my resume so far.

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Revamp…It’s My New Year Word

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I have been reading quite a bit of articles the past couple weeks about how and why making resolutions can often lead to failure.  Of course probably the most common resolution made is that of losing weight or exercising more.

Instead of making resolutions, I switched mine to goals.  Tiny goals that I would set up for myself and when I achieved each one, I would reward myself.  Then I read somewhere about coming up with a word that you want your new year to revolve around.

Therefore, I have chosen the word REVAMP. ¬†The definition of revamp by way of Google¬†is this…

Verb: give new and improved form, structure, or appearance to

Noun: an act of improving the form, structure, or appearance of something

This word describes every resolution decision, proposal, motion, target, objective, intent, wish, dream, aspiration, ambition, desire, plan, purpose, goal that I want to become of 2016.

I am not sure why this year I have decided is my year to revamp my life but something tells me it’s time. ¬†Maybe that’s because I had 3 babies in 3 years time and for most of the last 6 years I have lived in a fog of pure and utter mommy mania. ¬†Feeding them, bathing them, clothing them, scolding them, teaching them…repeat.images.jpeg ¬†Not that I don’t still do some of that stuff… **has already scolded one about 3 times today**, but this is the year they will be 6, 5, and 4 and they have started to become more independent little people and less reliant on me. ¬†No I am not sad about that. ¬†Nope, not even a little bit.

I like the fact that on Saturday mornings my 6 year old can get the cereal and milk out and help his sister’s with getting some breakfast so that mommy here can get to sleep in….if even for an extra 30 minutes. ¬†Sometimes I am awake but just like to be able to lay there and not jump up and get going right away.

They are all in school now.  Granted the girls are home before lunch but those few hours between 8 and 11:30 give me a chance to do whatever it is I feel like doing without dragging anyone along with me.  This makes mommy happy!200.gif

Part of me feels selfish for feeling happy wanting to finally do something for myself but the truth is by always doing for everyone else I was turning into quite the depressed and bitchy individual.  I have even become more of an introvert than what I used to be.  Is that even possible?


So what do I plan to revamp you ask?

Myself ~ I plan to get healthier, eat better, quit drinking so much, quit stressing about things I have no control over, learn to deal with the stress when it does rear it’s ugly head, have more compassion for the human race, revamp my attitude. ¬†Except for the guy who still stands on the corner sidewalk at Wal-Mart…and now he even has an accomplice that stands there with him. ¬†That guy I will just keep giving dirty looks to as I drive past him. ¬†In case you have no clue what I am talking about…you can read all about that here.

My Home ~ We have lived in this house for almost 2 years now and you would think we have lived here for 20 with all the shit crap that has accumulated. ¬†In our old house we had one linen closet ….yes one linen closet, and now we have 3 linen closets, a coat closet, and a very large storage closet and guess what??? ¬†THEY ARE ALL FULL! ¬†Of what? ¬†Hell I don’t even know but I plan to do something to revamp that!

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There are also lots of walls in this house.  You would think that because I am a photographer they would be lined with framed photos and memories right?  Wrong.  But I plan to revamp those walls.

My Blogging ~ Since starting this blog I have never really had much of a plan for it. ¬†I still don’t think I have a niche and I have come to terms with the fact that I am just going to blog about whatever brilliant idea pops into my head. ¬†And over the next year plan to revamp a lot of my ideas.

So if you had one word to choose that would sum up your year for 2016….what word would that be? ¬†Let me know in the comments.

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~Marriage Doesn’t Work On Auto-Pilot~

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Lately I have spent a lot of time reading articles about marriage and even dwelling into my own.  What makes them work? Why do they fall apart? Why are men and women so different?

This year of 2015 has been a trying one on my marriage.  It has to do with a number of reasons.

For 3 years prior we lived in separate places…5 hours apart…and only saw each other once or twice a month.  And it’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder because when I finally got to see him I was so happy that there wasn’t any time to be upset about anything.   We had very little time together and didn’t want to spend it arguing about stupid stuff.

Now we are living under the same roof and as much as I love seeing and kissing his face everyday it also opens more doors and avenues to argue.  Usually because we are both tired and frustrated from the days we have had.  I think it’s easier for him to go to work and he thinks it’s easier for me to be home with the kids.  That is probably the base of every argument.  There was also a time in the beginning of the move that I resented him for taking a job that eventually caused me to make a decision to move. A place where I knew no one, he was the only adult I had to talk to, and he was gone 17 hours a day.

Now let’s add in that during the first part of the year I was taking anti-depressant medication which I had been put on after having my third and final child.  Being on it pretty much made me not care about anything including sex.  I didn’t care if we had it or not and for the most part I only did it as an obligation of being a wife.  I was also a bitch all the time.  Bitchy all the time and uninterested in sex can put a real strain on a marriage.  So I decided to quit taking the medication.

It took a long time for the medication to finally leave my system and as it did I noticed my sex drive returning which was great but I also started to notice that during my monthly cycle time I was pretty much on the verge of becoming a complete lunatic….and am still dealing with those emotions once a month.

This means he’s dealing with it too and how am I supposed to expect him to understand it when I don’t understand it myself???  I am horrible at the fact that I will sit and dwell on something, overthink it, and drain the life out of it until I then blow up at something as trivial as he didn’t answer a text message.

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The female mind is such a frustrating mystery.  And for most men, including my husband, I am sure they wished there was just a switch to turn off the crazies…hell…so do I!

But there’s not.

There’s also the factor that my husband and I have not had an overnighter alone with just the two of us for almost 2 years now.  Sure we have date nights where we go out to dinner, maybe catch a movie or sometimes we are just so exhausted that when dinner is finished we drag ourselves home and to bed.  We have 4 kids living at home 3 of which are 5 and under…the oldest, luckily for us, is old enough to babysit so that we can have said date nights.  But I truly believe that mommies and daddies need time away to reconnect with one another without the stresses of everyday life.

But through all of these factors, the close calls of calling it quits, the fights, and the craziness in general…we have chosen not to give up.  We have chosen to keep our family unit connected and work on making our marriage better.  

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We have made it clear to one another that we are the glue that bonds this family together and that with both of us coming from broken homes, we want to embrace every chance not to let that happen to our children.  And that doesn’t mean only staying together for the children because believe me I have read a lot of material on that lately and that’s unhealthier for the kids than splitting up.

We choose to stay together because we know we truly love each other and also because we realize that the good days are really REALLY good and as long as they continue to outweigh the bad days then the marriage is worth fighting for.

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The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

How I Found My Niche

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Hello, Goldilocks!.”

I have always had a job.  A month following my sweet 16th birthday, and after filling out several applications at various places, I was employed.

The job was at “Kmart“. ¬†My boss was a pervert. ¬†I got paid “in cash”every Friday. ¬†That was their policy…an envelope of cash with an earnings slip inside. ¬†For a teenager that is a dangerous concept. ¬†I usually stopped at several different stores before actually making it to my bank account with the change…literally change…that was left over. I quit that job once I had gained enough “working experience” to get another job. ¬†Mainly because I couldn’t handle the “pervert” anymore. ¬†He was about 25 years my senior and a slob. ¬†And all my fellow employees were women…attractive women….with the same complaint of creepiness about him.

My next job was working as a hostess for a hotel restaurant establishment. ¬†If you are ever in the “not so little anymore” town of Rock Springs, WY there is a place there called the “Outlaw Inn“. ¬†It’s been years since I have worked there so I can’t say the food is good anymore beings that the chef who was there when I was there is probably long gone. ¬† But I hear they still serve “rocky mountain oysters” on the menu. ¬†I thoroughly enjoyed working here. ¬†The Chef and his wife were always so nice to me an loved that I could tally up the end of the night quickly and efficiently right down to the penny. ¬†He used to time me with a stop watch and always with a smile on his face. ¬†I was “let go” from there after a new floor manager came into play who’s daughter I didn’t get along well with at school. ¬†“Lou” was very upset with her and the owner and from what I hear was not very pleased with my replacement. ¬†Let’s just say he would be stuck there for hours waiting for her to balance her work sheets.

Here I was …my senior year in high school…and I needed yet another job. ¬†I found one within days at an “answering service”. ¬†This was long before the time of the internet. ¬†I sat at a desk and plugged cords into an actual operator board. ¬†Yes antiquated I know. ¬†I left there to pursue my life in the big city after graduation.

I decided it was time to get a job that I could see myself succeeding at…one that I could somehow venture my foot into the door and make a career out of. ¬†Somehow my crazy head thought about the “medical field”. ¬†I am not fond of dealing with any bodily fluids therefore the “office” part of a medical practice was my best option.

The first doctor I worked for, a rheumatologist, was a slow paced family owned practice with a “maximum” amount of patients seen in a day. ¬†I handled everything at the front desk. ¬†Greeting patients, retrieving their charts, verifying any insurance coverage, answering the phone, checking the patients out and gathering payments. ¬†And all of this recorded on ledger cards via a TYPEWRITER! ¬†Yes you read that right…there was no computer system in that office. ¬†Everything was typed onto a ledger card and filed alphabetically by the last name of the patient. ¬†Once again….antiquated! ¬†I resigned from there due to the fact that after two years of working my ass off I had not seen a raise or any form of medical benefits that I had been promised.

I went on to work for Hitler…another doctor who cared about nothing more then how much money each patient would bring in. ¬† In this office there was a “minimum” amount of patients to be seen and if that amount wasn’t reached there was hell to pay. ¬†This man was a complete whack job…even going to the extent of throwing patient’s charts at us and telling all his office staff how worthless and stupid we all were. ¬†It’s no wonder that some girls would go on break and never return.

I battled through his ignorance and while doing so I attended cosmetology school. ¬†I remember getting my nails done one time and thinking how great it would be to sit around and gossip all day and get paid for it. ¬†Next thing I knew I was no longer the client but the beautician. ¬†And finally I had found my niche. ¬†I worked for myself and loved not having anyone breathing down my neck about this or that. ¬†No perverts, no ignorance, no jealousy…nothing to deal with except for maybe the occasional picky client…but even the worst of those were better then any “authority” I had to deal with before. ¬†For 20 years I built a career and someday…once my youngest has started full days of school…I will return to it…probably still blogging of course.

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Writing Challenge: Day 2

Write about something you look forward to in the next 12 months…

That’s a whole year of things to look forward to. ¬†Do I need to pick just one? ¬†Well that is just impossible so here is a list of ¬†my top 5…

Warmer Weather¬†¬†Right now I am looking forward to the summertime and the fact that we actually have a completed yard this year….with GRASS! ¬†Grass in which my children can enjoy the “slippery when wet” happenings of a large piece of yellow plastic positioned on the lush green landscape. ¬†Yes I am referring to a “Slip ‘N’ Slide“. ¬†Although the invention has come a long way since the days of my fun with it.

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My Little B Man Starting Kindergarten¬† This is a bittersweet moment really. ¬† I still have to remind myself daily that he is now 5 years of age. ¬†And as happy as I am that he will be starting another journey in his life, I am also sad that I can’t slow down the hands of time sometimes and bask more in his full on “toddlerness“.

Getting In Shape¬† I am sure it will take me the next 12 months to successfully get where I want to be. ¬†It’s been a slow going process but I am still on track and now with the faithful enthusiasm of my workout partner, ¬†my motivation will succeed! ¬†I still have those great pair of “before babies” jeans hanging in the closet…staring at me every time I think I want to eat a bag hand full of chips.

VACATION Yes that is all in capital letters. ¬†My husband and I haven’t had an overnighter…alone…together…since our friends wedding in August of 2012. ¬†Wow…typing it…really puts it in perspective. ¬†Date nights are great but we are in desperate need of a night full of drunken stupidity including…an uninterrupted dinner, at a quiet table for two, in the dark corner of a restaurant, with a “not so cheap” bottle (or 3) of wine, a visit to the strip club, a hotel room with only one bed, pay-per-view porn, whip cream, nipple clamps, lots of shenanigans between the sheets without worrying about the bedroom door not staying locked, and the ability to sleep until our eyes “want” to open instead of being slapped in the face by several toddlers persistently screaming “I’m hungry!!!”

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A New Vehicle The time has come to replace the “mommy-mobile” with something “cooler”…and I am not referring to air conditioning. ¬†Not that driving a minivan somehow dwindles ¬†my level of awesomeness but the fact that I have to crawl into the back, while consistently hitting my head on something to buckle everyone in, and the fact that it’s not 4WD and we now live in a predominantly 4WD part of the country, makes the minivan useless and impractical to me. ¬†Of course long gone are the days of a 2 seater but I welcome an SUV.

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A year is a long time…full of many changes and a “bigger” list then 5, of things to look forward to. ¬†I cherish every moment of life and remind myself often that “everyday is a gift“.

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