Reflection Of My Year

Once again the end of the year is nearing.  Every year seems faster then the previous one.  Don’t know if that’s because I don’t want to get any older or because I have children now who are growing up so fast.  It’s hard to believe that the first child I gave birth to, Baby B, is now going to be 5 in only a matter of weeks.  Where has the time gone?  Seems like I blink my eyes and they are all another year older.

This year has been a busy one full of a lot of changes for all of us.  The building of a new home in a new spot on the map.  Leaving everything that we knew a 6 hour drive behind us.  My teenage boys having to leave friends and try and make new ones in an unfamiliar new school.  My toddlers still not understanding why all their friends that they had made can’t just come over all the time like they used to.  We have been here for nine months now and I feel like we just moved here.  I realize it takes time to make a life in a new place but for someone as impatient as myself that takes abilities that I just don’t possess.

But with change also comes good.  And at the top of that list is that all of us are now together under one roof rather then my husband having to travel back and forth and having limited time to do so.  Once or twice a month was not a substantial amount of time for my children to be with their father.  Now, although he works a lot of hours, we still get to see his smiling face everyday.  I get to kiss him goodnight and to me that is more important then anything I left behind.  (Even on the days he pisses me off)

In this year I have discovered who and what is truly important.  I have found out who my friends truly are and realize now that the list isn’t as big as it once used to be.  I truly now know the meaning of a “reason, season, or a lifetime”.  But most importantly I have learned that my family means everything to me and as long as I have them that everything else is so trivial.  My family being happy and healthy is my priority.

I find myself complaining a lot around the holidays just due to the stress that comes along with all the hustle and bustle of them.  And every year I tell myself I am not going to wait until the last minute to do everything and yet every year I think it gets worse.  In the midst of it all, this year, I looked around to see people who had truly something to complain about.  The old man on the corner holding a sign for help with his withered clothing and holes in his shoes and the years of the elements in each wrinkle upon his face, the man at the mall strapped to a wheel chair who no one was pushing nor was anyone walking beside him either.  The Angel tree full of children who go without throughout the year.  But the one that got me the most was the program I happened to catch yesterday about a young girl with cancer fighting for her life and her daddy only wanting more time with her because next Christmas isn’t promised.  It truly made me realize that I have so much to be thankful for.  Don’t get me wrong I count my blessings all the time but sometimes I think we all lose sight of what it truly means to suffer.  I think about the soldiers who go lengths of time without holding their families in their arms and the couple who have tried and tried to conceive a child with no prevail.  The parents that have to visit a hospital on a regular basis because their child is sick and for anyone who has lost loved ones and are now alone for the holidays.  I am blessed because I am not alone.  I am blessed that my children are healthy and happy.  I am blessed that I get to see all of them everyday.  I am blessed that we could afford the Christmas presents under the tree when so many can’t even afford the tree.  I am blessed to have this new home.  I am blessed with all the changes that have come this year.  And as much as my children can irritate me sometimes I promise to remind myself that I am blessed to have them.

So I will say goodbye to 2014 and welcome 2015.  A new year full of new memories to make.  New resolutions to usually break.  But most of all new things to reflect upon.  To all my family and friends I wish you well for the new year.  May it be filled with happiness and good chaos.  “Cheers”