~My Chaos~

Daily Writing Prompt

What do I define as my chaos?

*Chaos is getting up and getting the kids ready for school every morning.  Although I put them to bed right at 8pm every night they don’t fall asleep right away and sometimes are still getting up with the “I’m thirsty…I need to go pee” crap well after 10pm.   Other nights they are out in 10 minutes and then usually up way earlier than my alarm.

*Chaos is shoving and yelling getting them all in the car and buckled and ready to go somewhere.  Sometimes this can take longer than it takes to get to the location we are trying to reach.  It’s always a fight over who’s going to sit where, or someones carseat is blocking the other’s seatbelt and they won’t move.


*Chaos is looking at the laundry pile that I decided to put off for a couple of days and now has grown to an unattainable unwinnable unreachable impossible state to get finished.  Like I seriously just see myself buying an incinerator to throw it all into.  The kids will be fine going to school wrapped in cloths and duct tape right???

*Chaos is my children’s rooms that never seem to be clean even 5 minutes after I spend two hours in each one of them organizing and getting rid of junk.  It’s like suddenly they have rediscovered all their toys because they have been organized and put away.

*Chaos is trying to plan an entire summer’s worth of vacations with my husband in one day.  Why you ask?  Well because my husband is like that.  When he gets going on something it’s get it done RIGHT.NOW….all of it.  Why put off utnil tomorrow when you can get 3 months worth of planning done in one day?

*Chaos is trying to get some blogging, exercise, and errands done in the few hours I have to myself in the mornings before I have to pick the girls up from preschool and a whole new battle of chaos begins.

*Chaos is trying to decide what’s for dinner EVERY. DAMN. DAY.  Then forgetting to take the meat out and having to make a trip to the grocery store where I then buy more stuff that wasn’t even on my list.

*Chaos is there’s 2 t-ball games this week and I am on the volunteer sheet for snacks for both games.  And then that thought reminding me that their uniforms are in that pile of clothes waiting for the incinerator.  Unless of course it didn’t make it to the hamper and is under the bed, folded up in a sheet, tucked under a stuffed animal.  Yes really.

*Chaos is at this very moment, that I am trying to get this post finished, my 5 year old wants to argue with me about why she doesn’t get paid for her chores.  WHAT?!?! She’s 5!  I quickly remind her that she lives here and everyone has chores to do.

*Chaos is looking at the list of things that need to get done before the end of the school year.  4 kids and 3 different schools. Ceremonies, graduations, and special days to attend.

*Chaos is listening to my 16 year old and 6 year old fight like an old married couple cats and dogs, and wondering if they will ever obtain a bond with the 10 years there are between them.


*Chaos is my 16 year old wanting to argue with his dad and I about everything because, well, he’s a teenager and knows everything.

*Chaos is having a house that I can’t keep organized because I need about 3 clones of me or more hours in the day.  And before I had kids you could eat off my floor because my house was that clean.  All. The. Time.

So in the midst of all my chaos I find peace.  It might only be moments of guzzling a bottle of wine peace sometimes, but it’s still there.   The chaos reminds me that I am alive, healthy, and blessed to be surrounded by 5 human beings that love me.  That we have a roof over our heads and food in our bellies.  And so for all those blessings…I will gladly accept the chaos.

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Throwback Thursday ~ A Day In The Life Of Domesticated Momster

This was part of a writing challenge I did last year around this time.  It’s interesting to see how my Sunday’s haven’t changed much.  So I have done a little update of what my weekday is like at the bottom.

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A Day With Domesticated Momster

My Day In Detail…

It’s Sunday.  Long gone are the days of sleeping until noon while battling a hangover that’s  wanting to take over my entire body and smelling like whatever establishment I occupied until  the wee hours of the morning of the night before.  Waking up in a type of fog that not even coffee or a dose of 5 hr energy could lift.  My mouth tasting like I had eaten a dead possum laying in the middle of the road on the way home. And continuing my day curled up on the couch with pillow and blanket in close proximity all while watching a marathon of “Lifetime” movies.   Yes this was me…before motherhood…before my husband…now my Sunday’s are much more practical and meaningful….hahaha who am I kidding…Sundays are “pajama” days!  It’s funny that this part of the writing challenge would fall on the least busy day of the week for me.

On this particular Sunday…

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7:40am…heard hubby come home from working all night.  Mumbled something along the lines of ‘hi…how was your night?”.  Noticed Little Z was awake and ready for her breakfast.  (I love when only one at a time wakes up…makes the chaos much more controllable…especially while I am trying to get my first dose of caffeine digested.)  Made her breakfast and turned on her choice of cartoon.

8:00am…Snuck into the office for my morning “internet” routine.  I love the internet first thing in the morning.  Some people like reading a paper…I like looking through the world wide web for whatever tickles my fancy  awakens my mind.

8:20am…I hear the tapping of two more toddlers feet shuffling along the wooden floor.  They are rubbing their eyes and muttering “I want something to eat mommy”.  You should see Little M’s hair first thing in the morning ….looks like she wrestled with a fuzzy blanket full of balloons and lost.

images-4Got their breakfast served and positioned them at the table  while they quietly watched whatever cartoon was presenting itself on the TV.  Yes I know that “society” says I shouldn’t let my kids watch tv while sitting at the table eating but quite frankly I don’t care what “society” says because they aren’t raising my 3 toddlers.  I am.  **thought for a whole other blog post**

8:45am…They all finish up with breakfast and wander into the living room, with “security” blankets in tow and find their comfortable places on the couch.  Mind you…I have had to tell them to shhhh and be quiet, because daddy is sleeping, about half a dozen times already.  I have no clue how he sleeps through 5 kids on a Sunday.

9:00am…Still surfing the internet

9:20am…gather up Little B Man’s dirty clothes that didn’t quite make it into the hamper…”supermom on caffeine” is now starting to present herself and has started her first load of laundry for the day.  (I would like to know how the “Duggars” mom stays on top of her “19 Kids And Counting“‘s laundry pile…I know she has several washers and dryers but it’s still a lot of dirty clothes to tackle.)  Putting them in the washer and dryer is the easy part…folding and putting away takes lots of patience and effort…especially if you are trying to be “super laundry girl” who doesn’t leave them in a heap on top of the dryer or constantly restarting  the “steam and fluff” setting to avoid having to fold them while still getting the wrinkles out.

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11:15am…In two hours I have shushed the kids at least a dozen more times.  I have made a snack consisting of 3 different kinds of fruits.  (That’s the problem with them all having minds of their own now…they all 3 always want something different…last night we had to draw straws to see who got to pick the “time to settle down” flick of the the evening)

12:00pm…Lunchtime for the littles consisting of BBQ pulled pork sandwiches from a few nights ago.  By this time of day I am starting to get a little “toddler” crazy.  They are all fully awake and bouncing off the walls and I swear it’s worse when my husband is on night shift and trying to sleep.  It’s like their little radars are beeping to remind them to be loud and obnoxious and see how many times mommy can lose her shit!

12:30pm…GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE!

12:31pm…I sit down at the computer to try and finish a thought only to be interrupted by the constant dinging of  the dryer which has gone off not once, not twice, but THREE times now to remind me that it’s time to fold the clothes!  Someone in this house keeps turning on the “wrinkle guard” option so instead of the dryer just turning of  it starts back up every couple minutes until someone tends to the items inside.  It’s a brilliant option developed by dryer manufacturers but for me it’s just a constant reminder that my laziness is wasting electricity.

2:30pm…hubby is awake now and making a mess in the kitchen before he gets ready for work.  I think I might have actually got a couple blinks of a nap in there while the kids were “momentarily” behaving themselves.   Baby Z also dozed off even if it was for only 20 minutes at best.   Keeps the “crabbies” at bay.  Now starts the “afternoon” chaos.   Right now I am watching my husband as he writes on the egg container “HARDBOILED” ….twice….with a sharpie…as I hover over him making sure that the sharpie doesn’t get misplaced and then gets into the hands of my 3 year old toddler…the same toddler who has decorated the walls, doors, beds, and just about anything else with a surface…in which I have scrubbed off on more then one occasion.  (By the way…the “washable/wipeable” crayons really do just that…they are every mother, with a decorative toddler’s, dream coloring utensils.)

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2:50pm…time to get ready for the gym…the kids are all well aware that daddy is awake now and are all in full on scream patrol!  Mommy needs a break.  Off to the gym I go…must keep up with my “trophy wife” status.  **literally laughs out loud**

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4:45pm…home from the gym…had a great workout due to the fact that the gym was pretty much empty.  I like when the gym is vacant…not only do I get to use every piece of workout equipment that I want without having to wait but I also don’t feel stupid trying something new.  Inevitably every time I get the courage to try out a new gym apparatus I fail miserably and usually end up hurting myself, more out of embarrassment rather then pain.

5:00pm…WTF is for dinner?  **opens refrigerator in hopes that the light in her head turns on**  Oh look at that…lots of leftovers…problem solved.

6:00pm…Let the countdown to bedtime begin.  First off…bathing the dirty little monsters.  There is something about these last 2 hours before bedtime where a force bigger then all of us takes over…let’s say my full Momster mode comes out.  All of us are tired and cranky and just wanting the day to be over.  They seem to fight over every toy, tattle about every little moment and mommy’s patience meter is completely tapped out!

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6:45pm…I realize that I didn’t get the load of girls clothes in the dryer folded…DAMMIT!  Here they stand soaking wet wrapped in towels while I try and gather up anything resembling pajamas…leggings and a t-shirt?  Works for me.  **listens to them whine several times about these NOT being pajamas**

7:40pm…That’s a wrap people…12 hours… in a day of the life… of yours truly.

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The average weekday for me goes something like this…..

6:30am  Alarm goes off and I roll over to reach for my phone wishing that it’s possibly a false alarm going off.  After trying to tap snooze a half dozen times with no prevail, I scroll through my notifications with one eye open and tend to a little bit of social media.

6:50am  Brew a LARGE cup of caffeine.   I get the mini monsters up.  2 of the 3 are good about waking.  The other is like her mommy and really prefers that school start somewhere around noon.  We are not rise and shiners.

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For the next hour is rush to get everyone ready to get out the door and to school.  I must say “go brush your teeth” at least a dozen times.  There’s also always a mad search for missing shoes, gloves, hats, etc. because of course they are never where they belong.
7:50am Drop teenager off at high school…which is literally less than a mile down the street.  Yeah spoiled I know.

7:55am  Drop the girls of at preschool.

8:00am  Drop mini monster B man off at the elementary school.

8:15am MOMMY TIME which translates to gym time!  I also usually make a trip to the store if needed, or clean out the Yukon, or run whatever errands need to be run at this time.  It’s very important to get as much done as possible when I don’t have 3 little people to drag with me.

10:00am Back home and usually start a load of laundry and sit down to get some blogging done.  Time goes by fast during this time.  Before I know it it’s…

11:30am  And time to pick up the girls.

12:00pm We are back home and fixing lunch.  Of course they never want the same thing for lunch.  That would make life easy right?

From then until time to pick up little monster B man I usually blog, organize, do laundry, and repeat.  I have been trying to keep a schedule of blogging for so much time and then spending same amount of time doing something else.  That way I am not wasting all my time sitting in front of the computer.  So far this year it is working out horribly pretty well.

3:00pm Pick up mini monster B man.

From 3pm on is usually chaos.  It’s getting home, organizing homework, reading, preparing dinner and if there’s sports to get to well then it’s move faster, make dinner faster, forget the homework until after the sports.  And if I want to make the evening Zumba classes then I really have to get my ass in gear  plan faster. #mommylife

8:00pm Kids bedtime.  Sometimes it’s 7:30 depending on what kind of mood mommy is in or furthermore what kind of mood the mini monsters are in.

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8:15 mommy bath or shower time.  This used to be the time that I would pour me that large glass of wine to enjoy with my bath, shower, tv, blogging, whatever.

Little more blogging or watching some television.  I rarely watch television these days though.  There’s just other things I would honestly rather be doing.

11:00pm I usually try to go to bed but it doesn’t always happen.  If I get submerged engrossed in doing something, then it can be another hour or so before I am actually in bed asleep…with one eye open.

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Random “S#*T”

I woke up this morning to the sound of the rain.  I love the sound of rain…probably because I live in Nevada and we don’t get much rain here.  Although I have seen al lot more since moving to the northern part of the state.

Now I am a spring and summer girl at heart…there’s nothing like the feeling of sunshine on my face and everything blooming…for some that brings the feeling of itchy, watery eyes and a runny nose but luckily for me I don’t suffer from allergies.

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But there is just something spectacular about the feelings of fall and winter.  Pumpkin lattes and big comfy clothes.  Extra blankets on the bed and the heat of a fire on the tip of your toes.  Cuddling with my littles watching movies we choose.  Holiday parties and better yet…holiday booze.  And by parties I mean getting all the family together and consuming alcohol and food while playing whatever board games we can find all the pieces to.  I bet you thought I had this glorious life where I was invited to all these fabulous holiday cocktail parties ….nope ….not me…not this life.

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And whoever thinks a holiday party week is a good thing…should maybe check out an AA meeting…I mean I like my cocktails but partying everyday for a week?  That didn’t even happen in my 20’s.

Aaaah the holidays…where families come together and torture one another…where you try to watch what you say in fear you might piss someone off.  Then I just get tanked and end up saying it anyway ….((burp)) oops.  Those movies that have been created out of entire “family reunion” topics were created for a reason…to show people that families aren’t the picture perfect portrait that hangs on the wall.  And the ones that are claiming to be perfect need to have their heads examined.  That’s like organized religion…tread carefully. Not lightly….carefully.

Now I love Thanksgiving but it is so much work for the women of the house.  Whether that be just the mom, the mom and daughters, or the grandmothers, moms, AND daughters.  Regardless of how many are helping, it is always so much work.  Maybe in other families the men pitch in but not in my family.  The men plant their asses on the couch to watch the Thanksgiving Day extravaganza of football while the ladies in the house prepare the never ending smorgasbord of goodies that start at what seems like the crack of dawn and doesn’t end until the last piece of silverware is washed.  ((note to self…get paper plates and plastic silverware))

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