My Decision To Circumcise 

Even though my son is now almost 7 years old,  it is still a frequent discussion between my husband and I why I made the decision to circumcise our son.  My husband believes that there is no reason for males to be circumcised and I felt that I didn’t want him growing up having to deal with society’s idea of what most penises look like.

Circumcision reasons pros cons
I remember the day like it was yesterday.  Since my husband was against circumcision (he is circumcised but says he was never given a choice) he refused to go with me.  This was my first baby and here I was going to a life changing doctor’s appointment all by myself.

I sat in the examining room going through my head a hundred times and wondering if I was making the right decision.  Honestly I made the decision to have my son circumcised based solely on the fact that society has decided on this procedure to be completely normal and is no longer based on religion or faith but that of cosmetics.

As a woman, I have seen both types of penises and have talked to various other women who have as well.  And the sad fact is that the majority of women prefer a circumcised penis over that of one that is not.  According to the popular adult store, Adam & Eve, over 54% of women prefer a circumcised penis.  But I also found in my research that circumcision rates increased from 48% during 1988–1991 to 61% during 1997–2000 but declined to 56% in 2008 according to the CDC.  The results from the Adam & Eve survey were done in 2014.

They took my son into another room to do the procedure while I waited in the examination room.  It seemed like hours passed when finally they brought him in.  The doctor removed his diaper to show me what he had done and to say what I saw was anything short of horrific,is an understatement.  No one had prepared me for the dark red flesh that was now at the end of my little baby boy’s penis.  I felt like a horrible mother and began uncontrollably crying.  To the point that the doctor had me sit down and relax before going over the after care with me, or even giving me back my baby.

Circumcision reasons pros cons
I finally pulled myself together because I wanted nothing more than to hold and soothe my crying little boy.  The moment he was in my arms I felt a wave of relief come over me.

The doctor explained the after care to me and I hung on every word that escaped from that man’s mouth.  They told me I could stay in the room as long as I needed until I felt comfortable enough to leave.  I remember just sitting there nursing him until finally he was sound asleep.

I gathered up our things and left the hospital.  But as soon as I got him safely loaded into the car (still sleeping) I sat in the parking lot and cried and continued to cry all the way home.  Questioning myself over and over again if I had done the right thing.

I never did any kind of research before the procedure but I made sure to follow the doctors instructions thoroughly.  As each day passed the wound began to heal and quite honestly I thankfully never had any problems and my son never showed any signs of discomfort as described in this article I came across in doing some research for this post.  Had I have read that article before making my own decision, I probably would have decided differently.

Circumcision facts reasons
But then I found a more recent article which you can read here that makes me feel as if I did make the right decision.  I would never want my son to feel like, I am sure some of the men who are talked about in this article, must have felt.  Not to mention I wouldn’t want to be having to constantly be telling him, let alone showing him, how to pull the foreskin back and clean it.  Let’s face it, children (especially boys) don’t care much about their hygiene until far into their teen years when usually they get their first real girlfriend.  The CDC has also stated that several types of research have documented that male circumcision significantly reduces the risk of men contracting HIV through penile-vaginal sex.

In all honesty, as a parent, I think it is a personal choice unless of course it falls under your religion or faith.   But I would like to hear from the women out there what their views are…my main question being…

Do you prefer a man who is circumcised or uncircumcised?   And if you feel like it, please do explain.

Domesticated Momster
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

A Letter To Bryan

goodbye
A Letter To A 17 Year Old

You were just a young boy, all of 10 years old when I met you.  I bonded with you almost immediately for you had an “old sole” and not as hyper as your younger sibling.  You always seemed mature way beyond your years.

Here we are 7 years later and after all my time invested in you…you have decided that you no longer want to be a part of this family.  This same family that has fed you, clothed you, taken you on vacations, guided you, and above all loved you even though the blood that runs through your veins is not the same blood that runs through the rest of ours.

I understand the whole “teenager” phase of life for I too was once a teenager who wanted to be my own person.  But I also knew that for every negative action I produced there was going to be a consequence to that action and that I had to accept the punishment I was dealt.  That’s part of learning to become an adult and it’s our job as parents to correct any bad behavior and try to lead you away from a life of being “a menace to society”.

Somewhere in the last couple years the bond I had with you has been strained.  I have tried to be a good step-mom to you and although I know at times I wasn’t exceptionally great at it, I still tried the best way I knew how. I had never had kids to raise before you and your brother came along.  I was always an aunt and being an aunt is so much easier then being a parent.

You and your brother had a lot of emotional baggage when I met you.  You had been deserted by the one person who was suppose to love and protect you and teach you about the harsh and cruel world we live in.  Your mother.  Instead she chose a life too selfish to ever bare the responsibility of raising children.  Thankfully, the person you should have been calling dad all these years stepped up and made sure you and your brother were provided for.  Therefore, you must understand that when he hears you say you no longer want to be in this family, it hurts him.  I realize he is not someone who is good at showing his emotions but remember son….neither are you.  In 7 years I cannot remember one time you ever saying “I love you” to either of us without us saying it to you first.  Oh wait yes I do remember one time ….it was right after we purchased an iPhone for you.  It took buying you a materialistic item to hear you say those 3 little words.  Do you think that doesn’t hurt our feelings?  Let me assure you that it hurts mine.

I am no longer angry with you for the behavior you displayed when getting caught at doing wrong.  I am disappointed in the way you went about handling it.  Crying to your egg donor mother and making it out to sound like we were just so cruel to you just makes me want to ask why? Why would you try and confide in someone who has never contributed to your life except to get in the middle of a family where she doesn’t belong?  She has no right to know anything about what goes on in OUR family.  She has no rights as a mother what-so-ever and she has never had to deal with any kind of serious responsibility.  Hence that’s why she stays in a hostile relationship instead of putting her big girl panties on and taking responsibility for herself.  She has taken the easy way out her entire life.  And now here you are thinking that you are taking the easy way.  All because you chose to do wrong and then couldn’t accept the punishment dealt.  You sneak and lie and then wonder why we don’t always believe what comes out of your mouth.  In your eyes someone else is always to blame for your misery.  Guess that apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.  Your genetic gene pool is full of that.

I want you to understand that all we have ever done is try and make you a part of this family…notice I said make because quite frankly we both believe that the only reason you have stayed with us is because financially we were able to provide you with more then your actual blood line could.  But emotionally you have never truly tried to bond with this family.  I have seen with my own eyes the littles of this family tell you “I love you Bryan” only to get no response from you.  Only after me making a comment to you about it have you responded.  They are so young and don’t understand your emotional status …only that you rejected responding to their love and admiration for you.  It’s funny though that you have no problem “showing” your girlfriend love and emotion.  You buy her useless gifts yet when was the last time you so much as purchased a card for for any of us for a holiday or our birthday? Or even printed one off the computer?  I remember specifically on my birthday you barely mumbled “Happy Birthday”.  As a parent I never expect you to purchase me a gift but some aknowledement, more then a mumble, would be nice.

Someday when you have children of your own maybe you will understand the sacrifices that we made to take you into our family and try and teach you right from wrong.  Yes that meant being hard on you at times but it also means that we care and love you and only wanted what was best for you.  Even though you weren’t biologically either of ours…we still and always will love you.

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Pass The Xanax My Teen Is Driving

Yesterday our oldest got his driver’s license!!! ((looks at bottle of bailey’s and then looks at her coffee))  It was his second attempt but he passed.  I should be happy for him and there is a part of me that is because even though it was so many moons ago, I still remember being 16 and so excited that I could finally DRIVE!!!  But now as a parent, being responsible for what my 16 year old does behind the wheel frightens me.  I had to sign a form stating that I will be held responsible for any of his actions while driving.  Like seriously?  I can’t be with him every second and regardless how much we try to teach our teens right from wrong they are still going to make their own decisions.  Decisions that could ultimately haunt their parents.  I totally understand why some parents make the choice not to let their kids get their license until they are 18.  Even though not much changes in a teens mentality between the ages of 16 and 18, at least at 18 they are considered an adult and responsible for their own actions.

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

Now Junior B (our 16 year old) has always been a very level headed individual.  Even at the little ol age of 10 when I first met him he was older beyond his years.  An old sole I guess one could say.  He’s not into being the most popular or the best well liked.  He has a handful of friends and he is fine with that.  He doesn’t strive for attention and I can honestly say that he has only made a handful of “truly” stupid choices since I have known him.  Does that mean that I am just going to hand over the keys anytime he needs to get somewhere?….NOPE.

'I've completed driver's ed, auto repair and sex ed. Now may I borrow the car?'

I am sure there will be times that I will use his being able to drive to my full advantage…like when we have run out of milk and I am just too tired to go to the store.  But for now, until we have “tested” the waters…his driving a vehicle without me or hubby in it…will be limited.

Parent Supervision on Teen Driving.

The Twinkle Diaries