30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 4

25 Things To Do Before My Next Birthday…

This one is quite amusing since my birthday is Friday.  So I am going to make a list of things that I want to get done before Friday and see how much of the list I complete.

1.  Keep the kids alive.  This is very important.  Hence why it is at the top.

2.  Workout Everyday…even if it’s just a quick walk around the hood.

3.  Get every piece of laundry done…before Friday…now that’s a challenge!

4.  Get to bed before midnight some time this week.

5.  Make sure all my “cleaning chores” are done by Friday…no one likes to clean on their birthday.

6.  Lose a pound.  It’s the tiny goals that keep me motivated.

7.  Grocery shopping…we are almost in “Mother Hubbard” status.  (seriously…click on that…have you ever read it? Creepy!)

8.  Clean out one closet in the house.  It’s amazing what accumulates in a year.

9.  Catch up on some shows on my DVR list.

10.  Bubble bath and wine one night…maybe two.   (my birthday night doesn’t count)

11.  Order Little Z’s birthday present.  Her birthday is the same day as mine.

12.  Have sex.  With a random stranger…hahaha just kidding…with my husband of course.

13.  Take the littles to the park…weather permitting of course…today is cold and rainy.

14.  Tie my shoes…**I am running out of ideas here people**

15.  Try not to yell so much…that will take more of numbers 10 and 12.  I truly hate yelling but sometimes it’s the only way they L-I-S-T-E-N!

16.  Don’t strangle the teenagers.  Need I say more?

17.  Wake up.  Hey this one is important….I don’t think the household would operate very well without my presence.

18.  Consume lots of caffeine.  This will be needed to complete 1-17.

19.  Be Thankful.  Figured I had better throw that in there…this is starting to sound like a struggle.

20.  Take my Zoloft.  Believe it or not…I forget to do this.

21.  Go to the spa.  Hahahaha!

22. Dye my hair.  Don’t need all these gray hairs reminding me how old I am going to be on Friday.

23.  Go to the dentist to check on the 4 gaping holes in the back of my mouth.  It’s on the “to do list” board but I will probably still forget.

24.  Blog!

25.  Breathe.  Can’t do anything on this list without that right? **grasping at straws**

Whew this was a challenge!

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A Day In The Life Of Domesticated Momster

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A Day With Domesticated Momster

My Day In Detail…

It’s Sunday.  Long gone are the days of sleeping until noon while battling a hangover that’s  wanting to take over my entire body and smelling like whatever establishment I occupied until  the wee hours of the morning of the night before.  Waking up in a type of fog that not even coffee or a dose of 5 hr energy could lift.  My mouth tasting like I had eaten a dead possum laying in the middle of the road on the way home. And continuing my day curled up on the couch with pillow and blanket in close proximity all while watching a marathon of “Lifetime” movies.   Yes this was me…before motherhood…before my husband…now my Sunday’s are much more practical and meaningful….hahaha who am I kidding…Sundays are “pajama” days!  It’s funny that this part of the writing challenge would fall on the least busy day of the week for me.

On this particular Sunday…

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7:40am…heard hubby come home from working all night.  Mumbled something along the lines of ‘hi…how was your night?”.  Noticed Little Z was awake and ready for her breakfast.  (I love when only one at a time wakes up…makes the chaos much more controllable…especially while I am trying to get my first dose of caffeine digested.)  Made her breakfast and turned on her choice of cartoon.

8:00am…Snuck into the office for my morning “internet” routine.  I love the internet first thing in the morning.  Some people like reading a paper…I like looking through the world wide web for whatever tickles my fancy  awakens my mind.

8:20am…I hear the tapping of two more toddlers feet shuffling along the wooden floor.  They are rubbing their eyes and muttering “I want something to eat mommy”.  You should see Little M’s hair first thing in the morning ….looks like she wrestled with a fuzzy blanket full of balloons and lost.

images-4Got their breakfast served and positioned them at the table  while they quietly watched whatever cartoon was presenting itself on the TV.  Yes I know that “society” says I shouldn’t let my kids watch tv while sitting at the table eating but quite frankly I don’t care what “society” says because they aren’t raising my 3 toddlers.  I am.  **thought for a whole other blog post**

8:45am…They all finish up with breakfast and wander into the living room, with “security” blankets in tow and find their comfortable places on the couch.  Mind you…I have had to tell them to shhhh and be quiet, because daddy is sleeping, about half a dozen times already.  I have no clue how he sleeps through 5 kids on a Sunday.

9:00am…Still surfing the internet

9:20am…gather up Little B Man’s dirty clothes that didn’t quite make it into the hamper…”supermom on caffeine” is now starting to present herself and has started her first load of laundry for the day.  (I would like to know how the “Duggars” mom stays on top of her “19 Kids And Counting“‘s laundry pile…I know she has several washers and dryers but it’s still a lot of dirty clothes to tackle.)  Putting them in the washer and dryer is the easy part…folding and putting away takes lots of patience and effort…especially if you are trying to be “super laundry girl” who doesn’t leave them in a heap on top of the dryer or constantly restarting  the “steam and fluff” setting to avoid having to fold them while still getting the wrinkles out.

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11:15am…In two hours I have shushed the kids at least a dozen more times.  I have made a snack consisting of 3 different kinds of fruits.  (That’s the problem with them all having minds of their own now…they all 3 always want something different…last night we had to draw straws to see who got to pick the “time to settle down” flick of the the evening)

12:00pm…Lunchtime for the littles consisting of BBQ pulled pork sandwiches from a few nights ago.  By this time of day I am starting to get a little “toddler” crazy.  They are all fully awake and bouncing off the walls and I swear it’s worse when my husband is on night shift and trying to sleep.  It’s like their little radars are beeping to remind them to be loud and obnoxious and see how many times mommy can lose her shit!

12:30pm…GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE!

12:31pm…I sit down at the computer to try and finish a thought only to be interrupted by the constant dinging of  the dryer which has gone off not once, not twice, but THREE times now to remind me that it’s time to fold the clothes!  Someone in this house keeps turning on the “wrinkle guard” option so instead of the dryer just turning of  it starts back up every couple minutes until someone tends to the items inside.  It’s a brilliant option developed by dryer manufacturers but for me it’s just a constant reminder that my laziness is wasting electricity.

2:30pm…hubby is awake now and making a mess in the kitchen before he gets ready for work.  I think I might have actually got a couple blinks of a nap in there while the kids were “momentarily” behaving themselves.   Baby Z also dozed off even if it was for only 20 minutes at best.   Keeps the “crabbies” at bay.  Now starts the “afternoon” chaos.   Right now I am watching my husband as he writes on the egg container “HARDBOILED” ….twice….with a sharpie…as I hover over him making sure that the sharpie doesn’t get misplaced and then gets into the hands of my 3 year old toddler…the same toddler who has decorated the walls, doors, beds, and just about anything else with a surface…in which I have scrubbed off on more then one occasion.  (By the way…the “washable/wipeable” crayons really do just that…they are every mother, with a decorative toddler’s, dream coloring utensils.)

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2:50pm…time to get ready for the gym…the kids are all well aware that daddy is awake now and are all in full on scream patrol!  Mommy needs a break.  Off to the gym I go…must keep up with my “trophy wife” status.  **literally laughs out loud**

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4:45pm…home from the gym…had a great workout due to the fact that the gym was pretty much empty.  I like when the gym is vacant…not only do I get to use every piece of workout equipment that I want without having to wait but I also don’t feel stupid trying something new.  Inevitably every time I get the courage to try out a new gym apparatus I fail miserably and usually end up hurting myself, more out of embarrassment rather then pain.

5:00pm…WTF is for dinner?  **opens refrigerator in hopes that the light in her head turns on**  Oh look at that…lots of leftovers…problem solved.

6:00pm…Let the countdown to bedtime begin.  First off…bathing the dirty little monsters.  There is something about these last 2 hours before bedtime where a force bigger then all of us takes over…let’s say my full Momster mode comes out.  All of us are tired and cranky and just wanting the day to be over.  They seem to fight over every toy, tattle about every little moment and mommy’s patience meter is completely tapped out!

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6:45pm…I realize that I didn’t get the load of girls clothes in the dryer folded…DAMMIT!  Here they stand soaking wet wrapped in towels while I try and gather up anything resembling pajamas…leggings and a t-shirt?  Works for me.  **listens to them whine several times about these NOT being pajamas**

7:40pm…That’s a wrap people…12 hours… in a day of the life… of yours truly.

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Just for today

Well here it is the first day of the last month of the year.  Did you survive Thanksgiving?  Did you get any great deals at Black Friday?  How about today with Cyber Monday?  Me, I haven’t bought a single Christmas present yet.  This is how I am every year and I don’t see it ever changing.

The chaos of the Thanksgiving Day weekend had me in a complete and utter fog yesterday.  I actually napped which is something I never do.  And even with a nap I was unable to keep my eyes open past midnight last night.  And I am usually up until at least midnight regularly.

Before my family got here I cleaned my house from top to bottom. ((looks around)) Although you couldn’t tell by looking at it now.  Toys laid out across the sofa, breakfast and lunch dishes still left on the table, several pairs of shoes and socks laying around, and what looks like dried apples from a package of them my son opened this morning strewn across the floor.  The leftovers are taking up too much space in the fridge and I don’t think I could bring myself to eat another piece of turkey.  Think I will just throw everything left in a baggie and freeze it for a dinner plan at a MUCH later date.

The kids are semi back to normal today after staying up late and eating foods that I would usually never even buy.  So now it’s time to get ready for Christmas.  I have been out to the garage and contemplated getting out the decorations but decided it can wait just one more day.  Today I just want a plain day with no planning, no decisions, and NO CHORES.  The snow that was so beautiful on the ground yesterday is now almost melted and gone and this mommy is feeling bad because I had forgotten to get the kids some snow boots therefore they didn’t even have a chance to play in it.  I know there will be more but still feeling guilty just the same.  So instead we turned on “Frozen”, made a huge fort with every pillow and blanket in the house, and enjoyed the warmth of the fireplace.  Just for today…

Be A Parent Not A friend

We as parents have all heard this term used many times yet I still read daily social media and find that parents aren’t listening to the true meaning behind this phrase.  I hear the cries of “My children don’t respect me” and “My kids are so ungrateful”…well why do you think that is?  You are the parent who is raising these kids to walk all over you therefore you have the power to change them!!!  You are a parent and not a friend means just that…stop worrying about whether or not your kids are going to hate you because at some point in their lives they are going to and that is when you know you have done your job right.  I am not saying that you need to be Hitler at raising your children but simply that if you feel like you need to put your foot down, then you probably do.

Let’s talk about chores for instance.  A child at the time they can walk can start out doing chores such as putting their toys away.  Gradually as they develop and grow you can give them more responsibility.  Don’t think that because you are the parent that you have to wait on them hand and foot.  Doing so only turns kids into loathing 25 year olds still living at home with mommy and daddy because anything less would be….well just that…less.  Work ethic to them is succeeding at the latest level of their current video game addiction or how many followers they have on the latest social media network.

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I often wonder about the parents who just simply “check out” of their kids “checking in” to the real world,  like it is some sort of inconvenience to raise what they have brought into this world.  Letting them do what they want, just because it seems easier is not an option.  Do I as a parent pick my battles? Of course I do but I always make sure my kids know that I still have the upper hand and that at any given moment I can change the life that they have become so accustomed to.

As a society of parents let’s do each other a favor…TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR CHILDREN!!!  It’s ok to tell them no and send them to their room or a time out to the nearest corner, whichever you prefer.  It’s ok to take their prized possessions, aka cell phones, tv, game systems, designer clothes, and social life and media away from them.  As a matter of fact I encourage this.  You can be their friend after they have moved out, paid their own way, and started a life of their own.  Tough love is not a term used for describing getting your heart broke.  It means loving your children but still knowing when it is time to take hold of the reigns, put your foot down, and not give into their never ending wants(NOTICE I SAID WANTS NOT NEEDS).  Being a parent means having to be “mean” sometimes and always being one step ahead of your children’s actions…it’s ok…life will go on and the less menaces to society we have running around…the better.

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Domesticated Momster