National Couples Appreciation Month

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April is National Couples Appreciation Month. ¬†So if you haven’t let your other half know how much you want to kill them appreciate them in awhile…then sometime this month is your chance.

My husband and I have been together since November of 2008, after meeting on the internet.¬†¬†It didn’t take us long to become inseparable. ¬†The fact that he could make me laugh ALL THE TIME is what attracted me to him the most. ¬†He’s not bad to look at either. ¬†*wink wink* ¬†I mean who wouldn’t fall in love with someone who was brave enough to show off “the goat” after about a week of dating.

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Now I am sure you are wondering what “the goat” is right? ¬†And I even tried to find an image of it on the internet with no success. ¬†Basically it has to do with a man being naked and then tucking his balls between his legs and mooning you. ¬†I was tempted to have my husband demonstrate his lovely talent but I don’t want to scare anyone. ¬†But if you are laughing right now, then you have obviously painted a picture in your head and we are good!

Moving on….

We have been through a lot of ups and downs throughout the years, just like any relationship. ¬†But I can honestly say that the ups still outweigh the downs tremendously. ¬†We are both stubborn as hell which doesn’t help when we find some ridiculous thing to argue about like who’s better at driving or who takes longer to get ready for a date night. ¬†But through it all I have come to realize that no matter what…he’s the one person in this world who has and always will have my back. ¬†Who has seen me at my worst and still managed not to run for the hills to keep on loving me.

National Couples Appreciation Month relationships marriage dating

I know I don’t tell him enough how much I appreciate him. ¬†I think we both just get busy with daily life sometimes and forget that this life we have built starts with the strong foundation we created…us. ¬†We both work hard to provide love and stability for our family.

We recently had the pleasure of spending an entire week together, on vacation, with no kids. ¬†The best part about the vacation was that I realized the foundation is still here…even with all the cracks and all the wear and tear it’s still just as strong, if not stronger, than the first day we met. ¬†Or should I say, since the first day he showed me “the goat”?

Have you appreciated your other half lately?

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The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback

Quote Of The Week ~ Feb 14, 2016

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In honor of Valentine’s Day this is dedicated to my husband.   He drives me crazy sometimes but just enough to keep love interesting.

I believe that love and marriage aren’t always perfect.  That you always have to put effort where effort is needed and pay attention to the person you chose to spend your life with.

Love doesn’t belong on auto-pilot.  It deserves to keep being reinvented.  To be reminded of what made love spark in the first place.

And remember if you are lucky enough to find someone who makes living, loving, and spending your life with, worth every minute…never…ever…take it for granted.


Cuddle Fairy

~Marriage Doesn’t Work On Auto-Pilot~

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Lately I have spent a lot of time reading articles about marriage and even dwelling into my own.  What makes them work? Why do they fall apart? Why are men and women so different?

This year of 2015 has been a trying one on my marriage.  It has to do with a number of reasons.

For 3 years prior we lived in separate places…5 hours apart…and only saw each other once or twice a month.  And it’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder because when I finally got to see him I was so happy that there wasn’t any time to be upset about anything.   We had very little time together and didn’t want to spend it arguing about stupid stuff.

Now we are living under the same roof and as much as I love seeing and kissing his face everyday it also opens more doors and avenues to argue.  Usually because we are both tired and frustrated from the days we have had.  I think it’s easier for him to go to work and he thinks it’s easier for me to be home with the kids.  That is probably the base of every argument.  There was also a time in the beginning of the move that I resented him for taking a job that eventually caused me to make a decision to move. A place where I knew no one, he was the only adult I had to talk to, and he was gone 17 hours a day.

Now let’s add in that during the first part of the year I was taking anti-depressant medication which I had been put on after having my third and final child.  Being on it pretty much made me not care about anything including sex.  I didn’t care if we had it or not and for the most part I only did it as an obligation of being a wife.  I was also a bitch all the time.  Bitchy all the time and uninterested in sex can put a real strain on a marriage.  So I decided to quit taking the medication.

It took a long time for the medication to finally leave my system and as it did I noticed my sex drive returning which was great but I also started to notice that during my monthly cycle time I was pretty much on the verge of becoming a complete lunatic….and am still dealing with those emotions once a month.

This means he’s dealing with it too and how am I supposed to expect him to understand it when I don’t understand it myself???  I am horrible at the fact that I will sit and dwell on something, overthink it, and drain the life out of it until I then blow up at something as trivial as he didn’t answer a text message.

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The female mind is such a frustrating mystery.  And for most men, including my husband, I am sure they wished there was just a switch to turn off the crazies…hell…so do I!

But there’s not.

There’s also the factor that my husband and I have not had an overnighter alone with just the two of us for almost 2 years now.  Sure we have date nights where we go out to dinner, maybe catch a movie or sometimes we are just so exhausted that when dinner is finished we drag ourselves home and to bed.  We have 4 kids living at home 3 of which are 5 and under…the oldest, luckily for us, is old enough to babysit so that we can have said date nights.  But I truly believe that mommies and daddies need time away to reconnect with one another without the stresses of everyday life.

But through all of these factors, the close calls of calling it quits, the fights, and the craziness in general…we have chosen not to give up.  We have chosen to keep our family unit connected and work on making our marriage better.  

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We have made it clear to one another that we are the glue that bonds this family together and that with both of us coming from broken homes, we want to embrace every chance not to let that happen to our children.  And that doesn’t mean only staying together for the children because believe me I have read a lot of material on that lately and that’s unhealthier for the kids than splitting up.

We choose to stay together because we know we truly love each other and also because we realize that the good days are really REALLY good and as long as they continue to outweigh the bad days then the marriage is worth fighting for.


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~National Kiss And Make-Up Day~

National Kiss And Make-up Day

Have you and your spouse, relative, or friend been fighting? ¬†Well today is “National Kiss And Make-Up Day“. ¬†Have you been pondering over killing apologizing to someone? ¬†You and the other half happen to have a serious argument, squabble, disagreement, shitstorm, or falling out¬†last night or even this morning? ¬†Well then today is the day to put all the knives away from “National Knife Day” which was yesterday and chomp on a good old-fashioned piece of humble pie.

I will be the first to admit that I am horrible at holding grudges.  And even though I have forgiven someone I never forget their back stabbing, double crossing, wrong doing to me.  I have also been known to start an argument or 50 with my husband just to be nothing other than an asshole.  Argumentative behavior is some how in my nature.  Probably stemming from the fact that I come from a long line of arguers.

Here are some tools to avoid arguments:

Don’t have an opinion. ¬†Especially if someone didn’t ask for your opinion. ¬†No one cares about your opinion unless of course they ask then I say put it all out on the table. ¬†This especially holds true for friends that look like they shouldn’t have left the house that day. ¬†Unless they ask you how they look, just keep your mouth shut. ¬†And then avoid them at all costs as not to be seen with said friend.

Try not to roll your eyes when someone says something stupid.  This is kind of just like having an opinion because the eye rolling is an obvious indication that what they are saying is not registering right with you nor do you think their brain capacity is much more than that of a small field mouse.

Don’t walk away while mumbling obscenities under your breath. ¬†They will most surely ask “did you just say something” and then you will have to make up a lie and say “no, I didn’t say a word” which is turn could start ¬†a serious argument.

Try to be a good listener. ¬†Even if you could care less about what the other person is saying just stare them in the face and watch their lips move nodding from time to time and saying “uh-huh”. ¬†Just don’t let them realize that you aren’t really paying attention to a single word escaping from their lips, because this could seriously set them off.

National Kiss And Make-Up Day Avoiding Arguments

Try not to wait long periods of time calling or texting. ¬†This especially applies to relatives and friends, even though it’s just as easy for them to pick up the phone and do the same. ¬†Yet some how they think of themselves as more important, and if not the recipients of such treatment, then somehow you just don’t care about them anymore. ¬†Couldn’t possibly be because you are busy. ¬†Friends and relatives who don’t have busy lives get upset very easily at yours.

Try to see things from the other person’s point of view. ¬†This isn’t always an easy task especially if you find that the other person’s point of view makes no sense at all. ¬†This also is hard to apply to alpha personalities because alphas think they know everything. ¬†Not only do I live with one but I am one and therefore know this first hand. ¬†If you are the bigger person and decide to just let whatever it is just roll off your shoulders, don’t start your next sentence with “but”. ¬†This just opens a whole new can of worms.

Skip any heavy conversations if you are hungry. ¬†Hunger causes misfiring in the brain and not only are you hungry and upset about being hungry but that in turn can make an argument over something as little as “Where the f**k do you want to eat?” into a full-blown attack on one another. ¬†Obscenities will be fully heard loud and clear from anyone within a 50 yard radius.

Politics and religion should never be discussed. ¬†It doesn’t matter who you are or who they are, there is always going to be disagreement in those two subjects. ¬†And highly political or religious people should just be avoided at all costs. ¬† Especially those who are always trying to shove their “opinions” down your throat.

Kiss Make-Up Avoid Arguing #Arguments

Walk away.  This is the absolutely the best way to avoid an argument.  Nothing more needs to be said.  This is especially great if an argument has already started too.  The other person will not only be more pissed that you are now avoiding the argument but will most likely not talk to you again for a period of time which then gives you the utter most peace and quiet.

This has been a public service announcement and I am not a relationship expert.  I share this information from my own personal experiences.


~August Is National Romance Awareness Month~

August National Romance Month Couples Marriage Realationships Love I don’t know about you but I have been married over 6 years now and the romance flew the coop a long. Time. Ago! ¬†Don’t get me wrong…my husband still buys me flowers every 6 months¬†once in a while and we do still have date nights but there’s no “romancing the stone cold love affair” around here. The dating phase is always such a glorious one. ¬†Getting to know the person and all those fluttering butterflies that make your stomach feel like you’ve ridden the best amusement park ride there is without puking. ¬†There’s not a moment in the day that goes by that you don’t think about having sex with seeing that one perfect person. And when you do the clothes are off in less than 5 minutes! August Romance Awareness Month Married with children sometimes has a tendency to blow that fuse right out! ¬†Poof gone! ¬†Must find trickier ways to be romantic…one being actually staying awake! So luckily there are times like August for “National Romance Awareness Month”. ¬†Attention couples…are you listening? ¬†Apparently studies show that couples who try new activities together stay together. ¬†They have a better connection with one another which then could lead to the possibility of hotter sex! ¬†Notice I said possibility. ¬†Really? ¬†Do these people who execute the results of these studies actually study married couples with children? August Romance Awareness Month Marriage Relationships It’s hard to find the time to be romantic when you have children interrupting every moment of your waking hours. ¬†And inevitably when there is a great moment in which they are entertained and preoccupied….you suddenly realize…you haven’t showered and well that takes priority over sex. ¬†So does the fact that you don’t want your partner to “smell” you. Now luckily for my husband, ¬†I have never been one of those women who really cares much about romance. ¬†I like the occasional gift of “surprise” flowers and my husband is good about sending me little notes via social media and I am just fine with that. ¬†I don’t need lavish presents or vacations and well let’s face it, ¬†with 4 kids at home…there’s other more important things to pay for. ¬†Like clothes and food. ¬†Therefore I don’t fall into the 78% of people who think romance is of great importance in a relationship. ¬†I am quite certain neither does my husband. August National Romance Awarness Month I am also not a big fan of Valentine’s Day, because quite frankly there shouldn’t need to be a holiday that says “I Love You”. ¬†It should be something you know and say to one another every day. ¬†And here it is with the first week of August gone and you want to know how many romantic things I have done for my husband or vice versa? ¬†Nada. ¬†Unless you count the fact that he dropped his bacon on the floor at breakfast the other morning and I gave him a piece of mine. ¬†Now that’s romance people! With Love Always, Domesticated Momster Signature

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I Met Him On The Internet


Yep…that’s right…I met my husband on the internet… to be exact.

I had been doing the online dating thing for awhile. ¬†Let’s face it, meeting random strangers on the internet is somewhat fun and entertaining. ¬† ¬†Luckily the only “bad‘ thing that ever happened to me was someone had a picture posted that upon meeting them in person didn’t resemble them in the slightest way. ¬†Not…even…close.


I had been dating someone for a short time and we had agreed not to seek any further “companions” on our dating sites. ¬†Well he pissed me off one night…yeah it’s not really hard to piss me off…but none the less it was bad enough that as soon as I got home I booted up the computer and onto my dating pages I went. ¬†I was curious to see what had been going on while I was away.


I scrolled through the photos of “page peepers” when suddenly one caught my eye. ¬†He hadn’t left a message or anything but had simply viewed my profile(an option which you could deactivate if wanting to do so). ¬†So in turn I viewed his. ¬†Although profiles are never very in depth about who they are pertaining to his answers and “about me” section was enough to attract my attention. ¬†The photos of his good looking mug were just a bonus…although they are what got me to stop and look in the first place. ¬†I didn’t leave a message or even a hello…I just simply let him know that I too had looked at his profile.

A couple days passed and I decided to once again check my profile status. ¬†And there he was again. ¬†Still no comment or hello but simply just stopping by to take a peek at my profile. ¬†WTF? ¬†Why doesn’t he just say hello? ¬†Is he dating site handicapped? ¬†Is he waiting for me to make the first hello? ¬†So being the straight forward person that I am I decided to take the initiative and send him a note. ¬†It simply read: ¬†“I noticed that we keep looking at each other’s profiles so I thought I would just say hello“. ¬†I pondered hitting the send button but I did it anyway because quite frankly I think he was just a chicken shit.


Low and behold he wrote back!  We began chatting online and the fact that he could make me laugh just through words in a chat message registered in my mind that I surely wanted to meet him in person.  We had a lot of similar interests, one of the biggest being that we LOVED the same football team.  Yes this was a keeper!  ((hears ringing in her head))

Meeting him in person just confirmed all that I knew was already true. ¬†He turned out to be exactly as his profile described him….AWESOME. ¬†It didn’t take us long to realize that we were done with the dating pool and now 6 1/2 years later he still holds the key to my heart.

So if you are single and have been pondering the idea of online dating, I say go for it!  Because sometimes stepping outside the box can lead to amazing new adventures!!!


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