The Girl In The Window With No Voice

Daily Writing Prompt

girl in window voice abuse neglect motherhood

Lately I have been reading a lot of articles and blog posts about mothers feeling like they are failing at motherhood.  Myself included.

A couple months ago I came across a story about a little girl in the window of a rental house, who some neighbors, that thought no children lived in the house, one day saw the girl peaking out the window.

Sometimes stories stick with you…and you can’t let go of them….this is one of those stories.

The couple who saw the little girl in the window luckily reported it to the police for they had never seen a child and thought that it was only a man, woman, and 2 adult sons that lived in the rental property across the street.

You can read about the rest of the story here.  Please be advised it is a horrible story and one that may stick with you like it has with me.  It would have taken a lot of strength, as the cop who had to enter those premises, not to punch that woman in the face.

The point is, that us mothers that think  we are failing because we had a bad day and yelled at the kids, or we let Netflix babysit for the day so we could get some stuff done.  Even if that stuff getting done meant taking time to ourselves to read a book, blog, exercise, or whatever it may be.

Even if we fed the kids mac and the cheese (it’s what my kids call it) and hot dogs for dinner with slices of cucumbers as a veggie because we just didn’t feel like being in the kitchen for two hours only to hear…”I don’t like this, I want mac and the cheese”.  Even when we take a timeout in the bathroom for 30 minutes and tell the kids we are pooping and to go play.

When we let our kids go to school in mix matched clothes because we don’t feel like fighting at 6:30am about what they are going to wear so we just say fu*k it and let them wear what they want.

Any of those times.

We are still being mothers who love our children.  Who dress our children.  Bathe our children.  Feed our children.  LOVE our children and show that love by hugging them and kissing them and telling them daily that we love them.  Let me assure you …. you aren’t failing and if you think you are then I encourage you to read the story about the little girl in the window.  Because that mother…doesn’t deserve to be called a mother at all.  Yes I am sure she probably had some kind of mental issues but what about the man that lived there or the two grown sons?  Where were their voices?  Why didn’t they speak up?  Were they all just crazy?

There is also a follow up to the story, 9 years later, about the little girl and the courageous family who insisted on adopting her, even knowing the challenges that they would face,  and how they are coping.  You can read that here.

So all you mothers out there that think you aren’t doing it right…if your child is loved…pat yourself on the back…you’re doing it right.

From One Mother To Another,

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Friends

Daily Prompt Writing Challenge

 

I have had many friends come and go throughout my life.

When we are young it’s so easy to make friends.  We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”.  Instant friendship.  I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram.  I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.

Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did.  Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook.  Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat.  And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e.  These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.

Next are my pre-children friends.  They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice.  I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun.  But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.

friends friendships relationships best friends

So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone.  I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days.  The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth.  He just cooed and smiled at me.  I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.

Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies.  At first it was just plain weird for me.  It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult.  By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with.   I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them.  And 3 of the 5 are related to one another.  Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me.  But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.

I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime.  The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.

Thelma and Louise friendships friends best friends

The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.

I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging.  People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends.friends friendships online social media  And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.

Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face.  That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult.  As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”.  Sad but true.

 

Yours truly,

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How I Found My Niche

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Hello, Goldilocks!.”

I have always had a job.  A month following my sweet 16th birthday, and after filling out several applications at various places, I was employed.

The job was at “Kmart“.  My boss was a pervert.  I got paid “in cash”every Friday.  That was their policy…an envelope of cash with an earnings slip inside.  For a teenager that is a dangerous concept.  I usually stopped at several different stores before actually making it to my bank account with the change…literally change…that was left over. I quit that job once I had gained enough “working experience” to get another job.  Mainly because I couldn’t handle the “pervert” anymore.  He was about 25 years my senior and a slob.  And all my fellow employees were women…attractive women….with the same complaint of creepiness about him.

My next job was working as a hostess for a hotel restaurant establishment.  If you are ever in the “not so little anymore” town of Rock Springs, WY there is a place there called the “Outlaw Inn“.  It’s been years since I have worked there so I can’t say the food is good anymore beings that the chef who was there when I was there is probably long gone.   But I hear they still serve “rocky mountain oysters” on the menu.  I thoroughly enjoyed working here.  The Chef and his wife were always so nice to me an loved that I could tally up the end of the night quickly and efficiently right down to the penny.  He used to time me with a stop watch and always with a smile on his face.  I was “let go” from there after a new floor manager came into play who’s daughter I didn’t get along well with at school.  “Lou” was very upset with her and the owner and from what I hear was not very pleased with my replacement.  Let’s just say he would be stuck there for hours waiting for her to balance her work sheets.

Here I was …my senior year in high school…and I needed yet another job.  I found one within days at an “answering service”.  This was long before the time of the internet.  I sat at a desk and plugged cords into an actual operator board.  Yes antiquated I know.  I left there to pursue my life in the big city after graduation.

I decided it was time to get a job that I could see myself succeeding at…one that I could somehow venture my foot into the door and make a career out of.  Somehow my crazy head thought about the “medical field”.  I am not fond of dealing with any bodily fluids therefore the “office” part of a medical practice was my best option.

The first doctor I worked for, a rheumatologist, was a slow paced family owned practice with a “maximum” amount of patients seen in a day.  I handled everything at the front desk.  Greeting patients, retrieving their charts, verifying any insurance coverage, answering the phone, checking the patients out and gathering payments.  And all of this recorded on ledger cards via a TYPEWRITER!  Yes you read that right…there was no computer system in that office.  Everything was typed onto a ledger card and filed alphabetically by the last name of the patient.  Once again….antiquated!  I resigned from there due to the fact that after two years of working my ass off I had not seen a raise or any form of medical benefits that I had been promised.

I went on to work for Hitler…another doctor who cared about nothing more then how much money each patient would bring in.   In this office there was a “minimum” amount of patients to be seen and if that amount wasn’t reached there was hell to pay.  This man was a complete whack job…even going to the extent of throwing patient’s charts at us and telling all his office staff how worthless and stupid we all were.  It’s no wonder that some girls would go on break and never return.

I battled through his ignorance and while doing so I attended cosmetology school.  I remember getting my nails done one time and thinking how great it would be to sit around and gossip all day and get paid for it.  Next thing I knew I was no longer the client but the beautician.  And finally I had found my niche.  I worked for myself and loved not having anyone breathing down my neck about this or that.  No perverts, no ignorance, no jealousy…nothing to deal with except for maybe the occasional picky client…but even the worst of those were better then any “authority” I had to deal with before.  For 20 years I built a career and someday…once my youngest has started full days of school…I will return to it…probably still blogging of course.

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