I have had many friends come and go throughout my life.
When we are young it’s so easy to make friends. We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”. Instant friendship. I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram. I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.
Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy. It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did. Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook. Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat. And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e. These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.
Next are my pre-children friends. They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice. I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun. But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.
So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone. I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days. The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth. He just cooed and smiled at me. I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.
Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies. At first it was just plain weird for me. It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult. By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with. I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them. And 3 of the 5 are related to one another. Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me. But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.
I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime. The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.
The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.
I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging. People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends. And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.
Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face. That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult. As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”. Sad but true.
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