Shape Up Or Ship Out

The Daily Post Writing Prompt

“Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.”

 

 

Dear Bitch,

Yes I am talking to you. 聽The bitch, witch, shrew, she-devil, that lurks around in my head daily and often shows herself to anyone in an ears distance that has done anything remotely maddening irritating to awaken her.

For instance when the husband is chewing…in the same way he has chewed for the past 38 years of his life. 聽Or perhaps when he falls asleep before me and snores to the point that not only can I not get to sleep but it’s the one and only thing I can focus on. 聽And why does miss bitch need to come out when I get into the truck to find that he still hasn’t put air in the tires from the last time I drove the truck? 聽Why? 聽Is this really a reason to get bitchy?

What about when the kids are all getting on each others nerves and then getting on mommy’s nerves and guess who shows up? 聽Yep…the bitch.

bitch bitchiness attitude quote
Or how about when I have just got done scrubbing the girls bathroom only to go in there 20 minutes later to find that it looks like it wasn’t even cleaned.

Same goes for their rooms.

Is this really a reason to become a raging lunatic bitch?

No wait, that was when my daughter decided to take the hair brush out of the bathroom and after telling her to put it back, of course she didn’t, and at 7:30pm, after showers, and time to brush hair and go to bed…instead mommy is tearing the house apart looking for the damn brush…see even thinking about it is making mommy bitchy! 聽Why? 聽It’s just a brush.

How about when the teenager doesn’t do his chores right? 聽Rushes through them half- assed and knows that it’s one of his step mother’s biggest pet peeves and a sure fire way to provoke the resting bitch.

bitch sleeping attitude personality grumpy daily writing prompt

Almost daily there is something that makes the bitch in me come out and quite honestly I am rather sick of her. 聽So I have vowed in 2016 not to be so bitchy. 聽Has it been working? 聽Well there are good days and there are bad days…but I am learning not to let the bitch take over the entire day, like I used to let her do.

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~National Curmudgeons Day~

National Curmudgeon Day grumpy crabby

I had to actually look up what curmudgeon meant.

Noun:聽a bad-tempered or surly person.
synonyms: grumbler 路 complainer 路 moaner 路 curmudgeon 路 grump 路
sourpuss 路 whiner 路 sorehead 路 crab

And today is dedicated to all of us curmudgeons!

Now one of my goals this year is not to be so grumpy and let me tell you…it’s been a difficult task to keep to. 聽Let’s face it…motherhood, marriage, cutting out junk food, no wine, aches from working out, and the dead of winter can make anyone waspish cantankerous bearish crotchety snappy grumpy from time to time.

Crotchety…now there’s a word. 聽I think I will find out where that word originated from. 聽**looks up origin of crochety**

“Best Answer: The main word to consider here is crotchet. Dating to Middle English, crotchet was used in various related senses to refer to a hook or hook-like instrument. A main figurative sense, recorded since the late sixteenth century, was ‘an odd fancy or whimsical notion; a trivial idea contrary to common opinion’. Example: “The duke had crotchets in him. He would be drunk too; that let me inform you” (Shakespeare, Measure for Measure).

The adjective crotchety, then, means ‘characterized by crotchets; given to odd notions, whims, grouchiness, etc.’.

The thing that needs explaining here is the connection between ‘hook’ and ‘odd fancy; whim’, something that has never been satisfactorily explained. The most likely candidate is that crochet ‘hook’ is used in a sense like ‘twisted’, with the same connotations as that term now has. Another related term having the same semantic pattern is crank ‘an eccentric person; a peculiar whim’, from the main sense ‘bent part of a shaft’. The word bent itself is another, though later, example.”

The adjective crotchety is first found in the early nineteenth century.
Source(s):
http://www.randomhouse.com/wotd/index.pperl?date=19990128

How boring…moving on…

National Curmudgeon Day grumpy bad mood

Some say that the day is to be celebrated by never leaving the house. 聽Those people obviously don’t have kids and errands to run. 聽Of course there were days when my little monsters were babies that I wouldn’t leave the house shower for days. 聽Thank goodness those days are long gone. 聽I am sure my armpits are happy too.

Here’s a list of things that caused me to be a curmudgeon this week.

*The guy who insisted on taking up the treadmill right next to me when there were 8 others to choose from.

*My kids taking 20 minutes to wake up and get out of bed which then made me late getting ready and I left the house without brushing my hair or my teeth!

*My menstrual cycle which was two weeks late and the $10 I spent on a pregnancy test because my period is NEVER late. 聽My husband is snipped but I have heard stories of women still getting pregnant.

*Denver Broncos haters and all their shit talking.

*My kids writing what resembles hieroglyphics on the side of my dirty SUV…it’s like having an entire bumper sticker that screams “HEY LOOK AT MY MOMMOBILE!”. 聽I relate when I see other vehicles with the same types of scribbles.

*My husband griping about how many trips I make to the grocery store. 聽Look dude, we run out of things almost daily and I would just rather do several little trips than one big trip…I am tired of people staring at me with my overflowing cart at the grocery store like I am some kind of alien from the land of kidstune. 聽Not to mention I loathe loading onto the belt, loading into the cart, loading into the truck, unloading bags from truck to inside the house, and then putting all that shit away! 聽I’d seriously rather scrape my teeth on the pavement.

National Curmudgeon Day grumpy bad mood

*Our so called new and improved, supposed to be faster, internet that still buffers when I am trying to get my workout on via YouTube. 聽Nothing like getting all warmed up and sweating only to suddenly have to stop for 10 minutes while it buffers. 聽By the time it comes back on I have moved onto the couch聽onto other things.

*I cheated on my healthy track and felt it today at Zumba class. 聽Just goes to prove that what you put in your body totally effects how you feel. 聽I had to really push myself and I am feeling a bit curmudgeon.

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