Why Do We Do This As A Stay At Home Parent?

 A recent meme I saw sparked the idea for this posthusbands SAHM stay at home parents humor

Now who out there does this as a stay home mom?  Or dad even?  Instead, just picture the picture with say Seth Rogen running and Jennifer Anniston holding the door.

The “working” parent is coming home and we suddenly hit this “need to set fire to the house immediately” psycho-bitch-mom from hell mode.

stay home parent set fire housework

We start yelling asking the kids to please pick up PICK UP YOUR F*CKING SHIT PLEASE and running around like lunatics.

Why do we do this as a stay home parent?

Why do we do this to ourselves…period?

There are days when I really feel more like, it could only be one thing that survived today and it wasn’t the house.  #sorrynotsorry

Actually to be honest…it’s probably most days.  It’s either I look good, the kids are alive, or the house is clean.  2 out of 3 isn’t bad right?

If you were someone to drop by my house on any given afternoon, without notice, there would be toys, pillows, blankets, laundry, dishes, wrappers…etc. (This post would be too long if I listed everything so we will just go with those few).  But I also presume that you are coming to visit me and not my house.  Although, I might ask that you sign a waver before entering the premises just in case you were to slip, trip, or fall on something sharp.

But if you were to get here 10 minutes after my husband got home…you would think I had a maid.  This also goes for people who let me know before they drop by because we all know that we do our best cleaning 20 minutes before someone is coming over, right?

Somehow, we stay at home parents have come to the notion that if our houses are a mess then we are somehow failing at the “job” portion of our stay at home parenting.  I feel that my job is the house and that parenting is just that…parenting.

But now let’s get into whose “job” out of both parents is a more labor involved occupation.

Housework is filled with labor.  No, it’s not hard work, doesn’t take using your brain much, but it’s a lot of moving around.  There’s  bending over, climbing, lifting, squatting, and … you follow.

Laundry alone is a full-time job on it’s own.  There’s the gathering up of small children’s clothes usually by means of squatting to the floor, or the climbing over the bedroom furniture,  because they haven’t quite mastered the laundry basket yet.  Even though you have rehearsed it with them at least a hundred times….just this week.

laundry SAHM stay at home parent

Then it’s lifting the large sized basket of clothes, to the laundry room, that you know damn good and well shouldn’t have this many clothes in it.  Nope, this laundry basket is full because they like to take stuff off the hangers and put it on for 2 seconds, that I don’t see them, and then throw it on the floor.   **grits her teeth**

Then it’s bending over to stuff all the clothes into the washing machine.  I even have front loaders, but I am a tall girl, so I still have to bend.

The transfer from washer to dryer….easiest part of the job.

The worst part is putting all the damn shit clothes away.  There are some days I feel like just shoving the clothes in the drawers, wrinkled, and calling it a day.  **reaches for wine glass and switches on Pandora**

And let’s not forget bedding and towels.  I kid you not…I will wash one of the little monsters bedding and inevitably that night one, if not all 3 will either throw up or pee the bed.  Or have a case of pink eye in which then the sheets have to be washed everyday for the first few days.  To make and unmake a bed you must bend, lift, squat, and climb.  And cuss…a lot…because the corners are NEVER right!

I just got back from vacation so of course I am chin deep in laundry.  So for today the rest of the house will just have to look like I have 3 small children and a teenager who live here.

Possibly the rest of the week.  Oh shit, there’s daddy now…yeah I’m still sitting here.

What do you do as a stay home parent?  Do you tidy up before the other parent gets home? Let me know in the comments!

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I’m linking this post with the fabulous following linkys…

Cuddle Fairy
The Secret Diary of Agent Spitback
Best of Worst

30 Day Writing Challenge: Day 4

25 Things To Do Before My Next Birthday…

This one is quite amusing since my birthday is Friday.  So I am going to make a list of things that I want to get done before Friday and see how much of the list I complete.

1.  Keep the kids alive.  This is very important.  Hence why it is at the top.

2.  Workout Everyday…even if it’s just a quick walk around the hood.

3.  Get every piece of laundry done…before Friday…now that’s a challenge!

4.  Get to bed before midnight some time this week.

5.  Make sure all my “cleaning chores” are done by Friday…no one likes to clean on their birthday.

6.  Lose a pound.  It’s the tiny goals that keep me motivated.

7.  Grocery shopping…we are almost in “Mother Hubbard” status.  (seriously…click on that…have you ever read it? Creepy!)

8.  Clean out one closet in the house.  It’s amazing what accumulates in a year.

9.  Catch up on some shows on my DVR list.

10.  Bubble bath and wine one night…maybe two.   (my birthday night doesn’t count)

11.  Order Little Z’s birthday present.  Her birthday is the same day as mine.

12.  Have sex.  With a random stranger…hahaha just kidding…with my husband of course.

13.  Take the littles to the park…weather permitting of course…today is cold and rainy.

14.  Tie my shoes…**I am running out of ideas here people**

15.  Try not to yell so much…that will take more of numbers 10 and 12.  I truly hate yelling but sometimes it’s the only way they L-I-S-T-E-N!

16.  Don’t strangle the teenagers.  Need I say more?

17.  Wake up.  Hey this one is important….I don’t think the household would operate very well without my presence.

18.  Consume lots of caffeine.  This will be needed to complete 1-17.

19.  Be Thankful.  Figured I had better throw that in there…this is starting to sound like a struggle.

20.  Take my Zoloft.  Believe it or not…I forget to do this.

21.  Go to the spa.  Hahahaha!

22. Dye my hair.  Don’t need all these gray hairs reminding me how old I am going to be on Friday.

23.  Go to the dentist to check on the 4 gaping holes in the back of my mouth.  It’s on the “to do list” board but I will probably still forget.

24.  Blog!

25.  Breathe.  Can’t do anything on this list without that right? **grasping at straws**

Whew this was a challenge!

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