A Day In The Life Of Domesticated Momster

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A Day With Domesticated Momster

My Day In Detail…

It’s Sunday.  Long gone are the days of sleeping until noon while battling a hangover that’s  wanting to take over my entire body and smelling like whatever establishment I occupied until  the wee hours of the morning of the night before.  Waking up in a type of fog that not even coffee or a dose of 5 hr energy could lift.  My mouth tasting like I had eaten a dead possum laying in the middle of the road on the way home. And continuing my day curled up on the couch with pillow and blanket in close proximity all while watching a marathon of “Lifetime” movies.   Yes this was me…before motherhood…before my husband…now my Sunday’s are much more practical and meaningful….hahaha who am I kidding…Sundays are “pajama” days!  It’s funny that this part of the writing challenge would fall on the least busy day of the week for me.

On this particular Sunday…

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7:40am…heard hubby come home from working all night.  Mumbled something along the lines of ‘hi…how was your night?”.  Noticed Little Z was awake and ready for her breakfast.  (I love when only one at a time wakes up…makes the chaos much more controllable…especially while I am trying to get my first dose of caffeine digested.)  Made her breakfast and turned on her choice of cartoon.

8:00am…Snuck into the office for my morning “internet” routine.  I love the internet first thing in the morning.  Some people like reading a paper…I like looking through the world wide web for whatever tickles my fancy  awakens my mind.

8:20am…I hear the tapping of two more toddlers feet shuffling along the wooden floor.  They are rubbing their eyes and muttering “I want something to eat mommy”.  You should see Little M’s hair first thing in the morning ….looks like she wrestled with a fuzzy blanket full of balloons and lost.

images-4Got their breakfast served and positioned them at the table  while they quietly watched whatever cartoon was presenting itself on the TV.  Yes I know that “society” says I shouldn’t let my kids watch tv while sitting at the table eating but quite frankly I don’t care what “society” says because they aren’t raising my 3 toddlers.  I am.  **thought for a whole other blog post**

8:45am…They all finish up with breakfast and wander into the living room, with “security” blankets in tow and find their comfortable places on the couch.  Mind you…I have had to tell them to shhhh and be quiet, because daddy is sleeping, about half a dozen times already.  I have no clue how he sleeps through 5 kids on a Sunday.

9:00am…Still surfing the internet

9:20am…gather up Little B Man’s dirty clothes that didn’t quite make it into the hamper…”supermom on caffeine” is now starting to present herself and has started her first load of laundry for the day.  (I would like to know how the “Duggars” mom stays on top of her “19 Kids And Counting“‘s laundry pile…I know she has several washers and dryers but it’s still a lot of dirty clothes to tackle.)  Putting them in the washer and dryer is the easy part…folding and putting away takes lots of patience and effort…especially if you are trying to be “super laundry girl” who doesn’t leave them in a heap on top of the dryer or constantly restarting  the “steam and fluff” setting to avoid having to fold them while still getting the wrinkles out.

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11:15am…In two hours I have shushed the kids at least a dozen more times.  I have made a snack consisting of 3 different kinds of fruits.  (That’s the problem with them all having minds of their own now…they all 3 always want something different…last night we had to draw straws to see who got to pick the “time to settle down” flick of the the evening)

12:00pm…Lunchtime for the littles consisting of BBQ pulled pork sandwiches from a few nights ago.  By this time of day I am starting to get a little “toddler” crazy.  They are all fully awake and bouncing off the walls and I swear it’s worse when my husband is on night shift and trying to sleep.  It’s like their little radars are beeping to remind them to be loud and obnoxious and see how many times mommy can lose her shit!

12:30pm…GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE!

12:31pm…I sit down at the computer to try and finish a thought only to be interrupted by the constant dinging of  the dryer which has gone off not once, not twice, but THREE times now to remind me that it’s time to fold the clothes!  Someone in this house keeps turning on the “wrinkle guard” option so instead of the dryer just turning of  it starts back up every couple minutes until someone tends to the items inside.  It’s a brilliant option developed by dryer manufacturers but for me it’s just a constant reminder that my laziness is wasting electricity.

2:30pm…hubby is awake now and making a mess in the kitchen before he gets ready for work.  I think I might have actually got a couple blinks of a nap in there while the kids were “momentarily” behaving themselves.   Baby Z also dozed off even if it was for only 20 minutes at best.   Keeps the “crabbies” at bay.  Now starts the “afternoon” chaos.   Right now I am watching my husband as he writes on the egg container “HARDBOILED” ….twice….with a sharpie…as I hover over him making sure that the sharpie doesn’t get misplaced and then gets into the hands of my 3 year old toddler…the same toddler who has decorated the walls, doors, beds, and just about anything else with a surface…in which I have scrubbed off on more then one occasion.  (By the way…the “washable/wipeable” crayons really do just that…they are every mother, with a decorative toddler’s, dream coloring utensils.)

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2:50pm…time to get ready for the gym…the kids are all well aware that daddy is awake now and are all in full on scream patrol!  Mommy needs a break.  Off to the gym I go…must keep up with my “trophy wife” status.  **literally laughs out loud**

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4:45pm…home from the gym…had a great workout due to the fact that the gym was pretty much empty.  I like when the gym is vacant…not only do I get to use every piece of workout equipment that I want without having to wait but I also don’t feel stupid trying something new.  Inevitably every time I get the courage to try out a new gym apparatus I fail miserably and usually end up hurting myself, more out of embarrassment rather then pain.

5:00pm…WTF is for dinner?  **opens refrigerator in hopes that the light in her head turns on**  Oh look at that…lots of leftovers…problem solved.

6:00pm…Let the countdown to bedtime begin.  First off…bathing the dirty little monsters.  There is something about these last 2 hours before bedtime where a force bigger then all of us takes over…let’s say my full Momster mode comes out.  All of us are tired and cranky and just wanting the day to be over.  They seem to fight over every toy, tattle about every little moment and mommy’s patience meter is completely tapped out!

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6:45pm…I realize that I didn’t get the load of girls clothes in the dryer folded…DAMMIT!  Here they stand soaking wet wrapped in towels while I try and gather up anything resembling pajamas…leggings and a t-shirt?  Works for me.  **listens to them whine several times about these NOT being pajamas**

7:40pm…That’s a wrap people…12 hours… in a day of the life… of yours truly.

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Just for today

Well here it is the first day of the last month of the year.  Did you survive Thanksgiving?  Did you get any great deals at Black Friday?  How about today with Cyber Monday?  Me, I haven’t bought a single Christmas present yet.  This is how I am every year and I don’t see it ever changing.

The chaos of the Thanksgiving Day weekend had me in a complete and utter fog yesterday.  I actually napped which is something I never do.  And even with a nap I was unable to keep my eyes open past midnight last night.  And I am usually up until at least midnight regularly.

Before my family got here I cleaned my house from top to bottom. ((looks around)) Although you couldn’t tell by looking at it now.  Toys laid out across the sofa, breakfast and lunch dishes still left on the table, several pairs of shoes and socks laying around, and what looks like dried apples from a package of them my son opened this morning strewn across the floor.  The leftovers are taking up too much space in the fridge and I don’t think I could bring myself to eat another piece of turkey.  Think I will just throw everything left in a baggie and freeze it for a dinner plan at a MUCH later date.

The kids are semi back to normal today after staying up late and eating foods that I would usually never even buy.  So now it’s time to get ready for Christmas.  I have been out to the garage and contemplated getting out the decorations but decided it can wait just one more day.  Today I just want a plain day with no planning, no decisions, and NO CHORES.  The snow that was so beautiful on the ground yesterday is now almost melted and gone and this mommy is feeling bad because I had forgotten to get the kids some snow boots therefore they didn’t even have a chance to play in it.  I know there will be more but still feeling guilty just the same.  So instead we turned on “Frozen”, made a huge fort with every pillow and blanket in the house, and enjoyed the warmth of the fireplace.  Just for today…