Friends

Daily Prompt Writing Challenge

 

I have had many friends come and go throughout my life.

When we are young it’s so easy to make friends.  We just walk up to some random little person, like ourselves, and say “hey! Wanna play?”.  Instant friendship.  I can still remember some of my early childhood friends and I actually follow one of them on Instagram.  I have known her since the 3rd grade but although we follow each other on Instagram…we haven’t spoken to one another since I moved away after 7th grade.

Moving to a new town at the age of 14 wasn’t easy.  It wasn’t easy to make friends either, but over time I did.  Most of those friends I graduated with and we follow each other on Facebook.  Some I actually even chat with via Facebook chat.  And before Facebook chat I actually talked to them on the t-e-l-e-p-h-o-n-e.  These days, talking on the telephone is almost obsolete with 3 tiny monsters having “mommy’s on the phone, let’s act like assholes” radar.

Next are my pre-children friends.  They were the ones who knew this crazy girl that liked to drink and party a lot and was always just a phone call away when they needed someone to hang out with at last minute notice.  I was always ready and willing to keep someone company while they or myself drowned our sorrows at the bottom of a beer glass together. Or for just plain fun.  But once I had kids I think that some of those friends didn’t really know what to do with the “mommy me” person I had become.

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So here I was at 36, just had my first child, and felt completely alone.  I had given up my career (which involved talking all day to adults) to be a stay home mom and found myself talking to myself most days.  The infant was listening I am sure, but not understanding a word that was coming out of my mouth.  He just cooed and smiled at me.  I could drop 100 F-bombs and he would just grin from ear to ear.

Then I started getting out and meeting other mommies.  At first it was just plain weird for me.  It just feels abnormal trying to make friends with complete strangers when you are an adult.  By adulthood you have become opinionated and judgmental and there are very few women whose personalities I found I clicked with.   I think I must have met about 25-30 mommies during a 3 year span of time and I still have relationships with only 5 of them.  And 3 of the 5 are related to one another.  Those are pretty horrible odds if you ask me.  But I cherish the 5 that I have and although we all live in different places I talk to them regularly and a couple of them have even come to visit me since moving here.

I can count on two hands the friends in my life who will be friends for a lifetime.  The ones that no matter how long it’s been since we see or talk to one another we just pick up right where we left off. These one’s will always be the Thelma’s to my Louise.

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The friendships that have faded I refer to as seasons, reasons, or just filler…and I’m ok with that.

I have also met a lot of wonderful people through blogging.  People all over the world that I have never met but I consider to be friends.friends friendships online social media  And what will always baffle me is how I can communicate with these people almost on a daily basis but in the two years I have lived here, there are neighbors I still have never done anything more than waved hello to.

Guess it’s because maybe it’s easier to strike up a friendship through a social network than it is face to face.  That comes with the awkwardness of being an adult.  As adults, we don’t just walk up to random other adults and say “hey, wanna be friends?”.  Sad but true.

 

Yours truly,

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I am linking this post with the following fab linkys…

ethannevelyn
A Bit Of Everything
Run Jump Scrap!

Throwback Thursday ~ In Search Of A New Mommy

This was a post from January of last year.  I didn’t make any changes to it but I have posted an update at the end of it.

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I have always been quite the outgoing gal.  Always made friends really easily growing up and even in my early adulthood.  Granted, a lot of those friendships were made through my work but easily made just the same.  After I had kids some of those friendships changed because when you are single and have no children you have a tendency to flock with birds of the same feather.  So after my first child was born I joined mommy groups and even started one of my own and from those I made friendships that are still in existence to this day, even though the distance between us now is a six hour drive.

We moved here to the northern hemisphere of Nevada in March of 2014.  I have met a few people but mostly I just hang out with my husband and his friends from work (which are usually all men). I have tried starting a mommy group and several people say they want to get together but never do.  I can be a total hermit sometimes, but I am still willing to make the effort if someone else is willing to meet me half way.

During the summer time I noticed that my across the street neighbor was going to the same soccer practice that I was taking my (at the time 4 yr old) to.  I have only noticed older girls playing in the yard though and never any toddlers.  Then today I noticed that she left at the same time I left to go get 2 of my 3 littles from preschool but I couldn’t tell when I pulled into the parking lot of the preschool exactly what car may be hers or if her child/children even attend preschool there.  Then after I get home I am sitting here in the office typing up this blog and I have the window open to see if I can see her pull into her garage.  I almost feel like a STALKER!  So I ask myself…why don’t I just trot my happy ass across the street and knock on her door and say “howdy neighbor”.  Because that would just be weird…that’s why.friends neighbors mommies momlife  I try to think what my reaction would be if someone were to do that to me but quite honestly I would most likely be happy just to meet another mommy!  Especially if they lived in walking distance!  And if they liked to drink wine in the afternoon well then that would just seal the deal!!!  **motions wine glass at the computer screen**

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When we moved into our house I payed attention to some of the kids on the street but all are older then my littles.  One of the neighbors stopped by while she was on her way out to say a quick hello and welcome us to the neighborhood.  Her kids are older but she seemed super nice ….plus she drives a jetta….really cool people drive jettas…I know this because I used to drive one. **smiles to herself** Not to mention her and her husband have a ton of dirt toys and just look like they would be fun people.  They even tried to help me chase down my escapee German Shepard one day and if I wasn’t so frazzled at the time I probably would have realized that it would have been a perfect opportunity to stop and possibly strike up a conversation with them.  But I didn’t.  Damn dog.

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I know that everything takes time but I have always been an instant gratification type of person.  I am hoping that now that all of my kids have will be in school this fall,  that maybe this will give me the opportunity to meet some other mommies.  And as I wrap up this blog post, my neighbor has yet to have pulled into her garage or I am not very good at stalking and I missed her.  **sighs**

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Searching For Mrs. Right,

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UPDATE JANUARY 2016:

I still have not had a conversation with my across the street neighbor.  Well unless you count the 30 second one sometime during last spring while picking up our kids from preschool.  I have been told that they are mormon so there goes the whole “let’s drink wine together idea”.  And even though I have decided to quit drinking as a goal for 2016, I know that I will never do anything but wave at her if we happen to be in our yards or leaving our homes at the same time.

The cool couple up the street still remain strangers as well.  The woman works at the coffee shop where I get my coffee a couple mornings a week and we know that we live two houses away from each other but still no communication other than she always remembers my order.

When we were having this house built everyone told us how cool our next door neighbors were.  The same neighbors that told us to “keep it down” one evening when it was just my husband and I in the backyard last summer having a conversation and laughing.  Wow…yeah…lots of fun they seem like.  We didn’t seem to mind when he parked his truck in our driveway one night, after we had first moved into this house, and it sat there for 24 hours before he finally came and got it.  My husband and I have a few scenarios of what could have possibly happened there.

After having our yard done last summer, and we did the entire front of it in desert landscaping, apparently we were referred to as the “rock yard” since most people around here have grass in their front yard.  To me, grass in the front yard is just something more to maintain and a waste water.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have made a few friends since moving here and I do enjoy my husband’s friends that he works with but I just always thought it would nice to have someone that I could just take a short walk and have a glass of wine cup of coffee with while our kids run amuck.

Maybe this year…..