7 Tips That Make Life As A Mom That Little Bit Easier

motherhood tips

Being a mom really is everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s amazing and changes a woman’s life in countless ways. Despite all the beauty of it, though, being a mom is incredibly hard. Here are 7 tips that will make life as a mom a little bit easier.

1. Resist the urge to go it alone.


Total self-sufficiency is the motherhood kiss of death. Raising kids is hard, exhausting work. If you’re co-parenting, make sure your partner is doing their fair share. If you’re a single mother, you need to have a network of support. Whether you’re a single mother or half of a parenting dream team, you need to say yes to offers for outside help and you need to specifically ask for help. Family members and friends are usually eager to help out. It takes a village, and if you try to go it alone, you’ll end up permanently exhausted and unhappy.

2. Forget about perfect.


Forget the dreams you had about motherhood. Forget the Pinterest boards full of amazing kid ideas. Forget the images of perfect lives you see from other moms on social media. Lots of days of being a mom will be perfect, full of that incomparable joy you felt the first time you held your baby. But plenty of days will also be hard and messy and not at all perfect. Throw the idea of perfect out the window and you’ll learn to appreciate the magic packed into all those messy days. Stop giving yourself a hard time for failing to live up to those Pinterest boards and celebrity mom Instagram posts. Those are staged glimpses at ideal moments. They’re occasionally achievable, but that’s only one little piece of the picture. Reality, in all its messy glory, is its own kind of perfection.

3. Every age is the best.

Don’t approach your kid’s childhood as groups of fun ages and ages to dread. Forget about the terrible twos and the terrible tweens. Even forget about the magic of babyhood or the delight of having school-age children. Every single age of a child is amazing and special in its own way. Every age is also hard in its own way. The cliche is true: it all goes by so fast. Find something to love and cherish about each age. Don’t miss the magic of right now because you’re living in the past or the future.

4. Remember that mom stuff can be cute and stylish.

Being a mom means owning and hauling around all kinds of things for your kids. Just because it’s for a practical purpose, though, doesn’t mean it has to be ugly! Choose products that fit your sense of style, products that make you smile, products that will make you the envy of all the other moms. Choose a cute diaper bag and you’ll be prepared to keep your baby clean and happy when you’re out and about, but you’ll also feel happy yourself for rocking some sweet baby swag. Shopping for kid stuff can have the same joy as shopping for shoes or handbags when you realize that kid stuff can be cute and fashionable.



5. Remember that being a mom is just one part of who you are.


Motherhood is amazing and can be all-consuming. It’s all too easy to let it completely take over your identity. Remember that there are other parts of you, too. You’re still a partner, child, sibling, career-woman, painter, yogi, churchgoer, sports fan, or whatever else makes you uniquely you. Be a mom, but not a mom to the exclusion of everything else. Take time for yourself. You’ll be happier, but as a bonus, your child will learn a pretty important lesson in seeing you do this.

6. Watch out for clutter.
Having kids means having a lot of extra stuff.

A lot of it is vital and a lot of it is imbued with all kinds of special memories, but a lot of it is clutter. Get in the habit of clearing out what you don’t need regularly or you’ll eventually be looking at a mountain of crap. Go through your kid’s clothing and toy collection and find a new home (donate, give away, sell, trash) for anything you no longer need. Kid art is particularly hard to part with, but you will amass a lot of it very quickly. Save the most special pieces and scan all the rest. You’ll still be able to look back at that scribbled drawing from age 2 and that self-portrait from age 5, but you won’t have to dig through 10 overstuffed bins of artwork to find it. You might even implement a rule that for every new item that comes in the house, one must go out. New toy in, old toy out. Decluttering kid things can get trickier as your child gets older, but it’s another great teaching moment. Involve your kid in the decision-making process for what stays and what goes and it will be less traumatic.

Children are hilarious and parenting is full of hysterical moments. Don’t forget to laugh. Laugh often and take the time to record some of the funniest stories. Keep a journal where you write down all the cute things your kid says or does and mark the date. Whether handwritten or digital, this will be a favorite thing to look back on for many years to come. You will not regret doing this. You might think that you’ll remember all of these moments, but you won’t. Sure, you’ll remember many of them, but a lot of gold will slip through the cracks of your memory. As your kids get older, they’ll love it as well and you can belly laugh about it together. Of course, some of the stories you’ve recorded are sure to be embarrassing to your kids as they get older, but sometimes that makes it even more fun.

Disclaimer:  This post was sent to me as a guest post and none of these words are that of my own.

Domesticated Momster

I Am The Mother Of A Soldier

Never did I think that I would hear those words escape from my mouth but the truth is, I am officially the mother of a soldier.

I had the honor of attending my oldest son’s graduation from basic training  in Fort Leonard Wood, MO.  And I must say that it will be one of the fondest memories I possess in my life.

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As a parent we raise our children in hopes that they will be successful, but for a mother of a soldier it’s just a bit of a catch 22 for me.  As proud as I am of him, we also live in a world of uncertainty right now.

I took my seat that morning and watched as each group of these young men and women marched their way to the stage and one by one called off their names and where they were from.  And when my child came forth, I barely recognized him.  He was all grown up.  He had already changed.

I thought about all their family and friends in the audience who were watching and wondering if they were all having the same feelings as me.  The feelings of pride, joy, love, fear, understanding, and of course uncertainty.  If their whirl wind of emotions, were blowing in the same direction as mine.

I sat across from my son, dressed in his Army issued tailored blues, made just for him.  And I couldn’t help but think that just yesterday he was this 10 year old little boy, with no thoughts of where he would be sitting on this very day across from me.

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I thought about the past year and a half and what he has overcome.  That he made some bad choices but made some self discovery along the way and in the end chose the right path.

I thought about the last time I saw him and how many things were said between us.  A conversation that hasn’t been finished.

I also thought about my 4 other children, who are all growing up so fast, and that as soon as I blink my eyes, this person sitting across from me, will be my 4 year old.  All grown up and no longer needing my undivided attention and me knowing that I did my best to give her and all of her siblings the love, life skills, and childhood memories that will give them the best wings to fly.  To know that I tried to be the best mother I could…even when some days mothering required every ounce of me that I had.

Watching this ceremony and hearing of my son’s stories of his journey so far, gave me a new found respect for these young men and women who take an oath to protect and serve their country.  To protect some of the freedoms that so many of us take for granted.  To sign on a dotted line not knowing the unpredictability that lies ahead.

Basically giving up their freedom…to ensure ours.

The last night I was there, I walked my son up the sidewalk near his barracks.  I promised I wouldn’t cry.  I promised that I would be strong and send him on his way.   I hugged him tight, told him I loved him, and then as soon as I turned to head toward’s the car all those tears poured out.

I hadn’t cried like that in a long time.

But it wasn’t just because I am the mother of a soldier, it’s because I am a mother, and for the first time since becoming a mother, I had a taste of what it was like to let go, and that before long, I would have to let go of all of them.

To Bryan,

I know your blood doesn’t share my blood but I will always think of you as my son.  There are so many things that you won’t understand until you have children of your own.  

I hope you know how proud your dad and I are of the person you have become.  That you chose to be a better person, even with so many odds against you.

I hope you understand how much we love you.  And how much we never stopped loving you…even when you weren’t making the best of choices.

I hope you understand the reasons of why we had to make some of the choices we made.  I don’t regret those choices…especially if it gave you the will to prove you could make it.  That you could be a better person even with the hand of cards you had been dealt.

I hope you will always know…this is your home.

Love,

Mom

PS:  Never lose sight of the boy on the left.  He’s formed the man on the right.

mother soldier kids growing up

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10 Things You Should Know Before Having 3 Kids ~ Guest Post

I was contacted by Crystal at Baby Follow  to host a guest post about having 3 kids.  And since I have 3 kids and can relate to a lot of this I was of course delighted to have her.

Take it away Crystal…

10 Things You Should Know Before Having 3 Kids

 

Three kids seem to be the perfect number for most couples ñ small enough to keep it manageable but big enough to keep family outings interesting. After Iíve become a mother to 3 kids however, I realized that having 3 of them is NOTHING like having just 2.

Donít get me wrong ñ all my kids are well-loved and cared for! Still, it can be quite shocking to find yourself having 3 little troopers in the house, all under the age of 7! If youíve recently got a 3rd child or planning to have a 3rd one, hereís one housewife advice to another.

1. Sexy Time

Sex pretty much dries up or must be planned like a military operation because for some reason, the kids never synchronize their absence. At least one is always in the house, needs attention, needs food, crying for water, or needs to have monsters in the closet shooed away. Even if youíve got time at night, youíre pretty much too tired to do anything with the hubby.

2. Invest on Distractions

Itís time to get the good baby swing! Thereís nothing quite like a good distraction that lets you do all those little things you used to take for granted ñ like going to the bathroom. It is essential to get the good baby swing as it distracts your youngest and lulls him to sleep quickly. Iíve figured out that once my youngest goes to sleep, the other two are easier to manage.

3. Quiet is Suspicious

Need I say more? Noise is practically a signal of normality in the household. Once everything goes quiet, itís a sure sign that something is wrong.

4. It Takes a Village

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tarafleishman.files.wordpress.com
With two kids, I was still Supermom. I could handle my two boys without asking for help. With the 3rd however, Iíve accepted the ìit takes a villageî adage and called for help, usually from the grandparents.

5. Mess is Endless

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http://images.clipartpanda.com
Even as you pick something up, something new gets thrown on the floor. The mess never really ends with 3 kids ñ and this includes the laundry! Iíve basically placed a huge box on the living room and told my kids to throw anything in there so I can sort them out later and the floor stays clean!

6. Zumba and Other Exercises

Zumba and Other Exercises
http://www.healthline.com
As a stay at home parent, most of my exercises are done through the television. Thatís not possible anymore with 3 active kids. On the plus side, you can get more physical workout just running after your toddlers ñ but this is an all day job! For some reason, theyíre on a schedule when it comes to energy source so that when one is recuperating their energy, the other one is at full speed. A postpartum girdle is a best choice if youíre feeling a bit of strain along your belly area, especially if youíve had a C-section. Wearing this actually helped me get my shape back!

7. Nothing is Constant

What worked for my first two doesnít seem to work with the 3rd when it comes to sleeping time, eating, and play. Hence, I had to change strategies ñ which are a lot like being a brand new parent all over again! Take nothing for granted and be ready to adapt!

8. Helicopter Parenting

With one or even two kids, you could be more involved. For example, Iíd actually help my little girl and boy to pick out their clothes for the day and help them in it. With the 3rd however, Iíve switched to helicopter parenting. It basically means hovering where I simply go check to see if theyíve done what theyíre supposed to do and move on. Although you might want to be involved in every step of their daily life ñ it just becomes impossible!

9. Teach Early

With two kids, my husbandís strategy was divide and conquerí as each of use gets a kid. With the arrival of the 3rd however, this strategy no longer works. I dread the day when our youngest would be able to walk and therefore ñ run. This is why as early as 2, weíve been teaching our middle child how to act and respond when weíre in public in the hope that self-discipline will work its magic.

10. Yes ñ You Will

Lastly, accept that youíre going to mess up ñ itís part of being a parent to 3 active children! Just keep in mind that pretty soon, your kids are going to turn into teens so itís best to relish these moments while you can.

Of course, those are just few of the skills new parents need to learn how to care for their kids. Remember: adapt as you go because no two kids are ever the same, but youíll love them anyway!

You can also reach Crystal at…

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Surviving The First Day Of School

I wasn’t very happy when that alarm sounded at the crack of dawn.  And when I say “crack of dawn”  I mean like the light was barely coming through the blinds and the sun hadn’t come up over the mountain yet.

At first I didn’t know what the sound was.  I woke up thinking that one of my toddlers was surely going to be standing next to me with some new game they had wanted on their tablet making that hideous sound.   And just as I was about to tell them to turn it down I realized it was…

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL and my alarm was going off.

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I don’t know what this guy is so upset about … 8:20 is sleeping in

It took me about 20 minutes to actually get out of my bed.  Took me 19 just to get my eyes to stay open.  As everyone is well aware…I hate mornings and truly believe that school should start at noon.

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So I got myself up and ready and then went to wake the dragons.  Two of the three woke just fine, but my little M is like her mommy and really wished that school started at noon too.  And she wasn’t very excited about starting kindergarten in a new school after attending the same preschool for the previous year and a half.

I went to the closet and reminded her that she had a new Spider-Man shirt to wear to school and she quickly jumped out of bed and hopped in the shower.

back to school first day

The morning went smoothly.  Got everyone dressed, matching shoes and socks, hair combed, fed a good breakfast, lunches were packed and backpacks ready and out the door we went.

back to school first day

Don’t think that it will be like this all year people, because eventually there will come a morning where they will be eating pop tarts in the car with their hair barely brushed and be lucky if anything at all is matching.  Don’t judge me.  That’s just what I refer to as #momlife and I have many moments of it.

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I thought that I might have a problem with my youngest, this year, being the only one being dropped off at daycare but she was super excited to go back to school and as soon as they said they had a new pet for the classroom she was off and running.  Sparkly light up shoes and all.  Never even looked back. *sheds tear*

Then it was off to the elementary school.  The chaos of the first day is just crazy.  Parents and kids everywhere.  I didn’t even try to get a close parking spot,  I parked up the street and my other 2 and I took a nice stroll.

Little M held my hand tight.  I knew she was so nervous.  Little B man of course zoomed like a pro.

I showed little M where she was supposed to line up and even got her to smile for the camera.  Something that she rarely does unless I catch her off guard.  The look on her face told me that she was going to be just fine.

back to school first day

Around 2pm I started to get really tired.  Like tired enough that I felt like taking a nap…and I never nap.

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This is literally what I looked like sitting in my chair…I haven’t shaved in a while.

 

And when I went to pick up the kids I realized that I had gone the entire day (including making it to the gym) without any CAFFEINE!  WTF?!?!?!

I was so busy that morning running around like a maniac that I had actually forgotten to consume any caffeine.  What mother in her right mind does that?  Yes, I know, I must not be in my right mind…news flash there.

So needless to say, it was too late in the day to consume any at this point and when 8pm rolled around, and I put the kids to bed, I crawled into bed too.

The last time I remember looking at the clock it was 9:30pm.  And I survived the first day of school without ever having a sip of caffeine.  GO FUCKING ME!🙋🏻

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Quote Of The Week ~ June 5, 2016


I had this quote in my archives from a few weeks ago where I had posted it to Instagram and Facebook.  

I had actually meant to use it for a “Quote Of The Week” a while back, but somewhere in my blogging hiatus, not writing much lately, and the new adventure I have embarked on that I will be writing about, it had gotten brushed aside.

I LOVE this quote.  It sums up motherhood perfectly.  Or even parenting in general.  We want to teach them and watch them grow into great adults but we get sad when we’ve actually accomplished it.  Sad that they are leaving us but happy that we kept them alive!

They’re no longer those babies that once looked at us with such admiration.  

They’re all grown up.

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Quote Of The Week ~ May 8, 2016

Today is Mother’s Day here in the US and while I was laying here in my bed debating whether to go back to sleep (my teenagers gift was to get up with the littles) or to stay in here and hide out a little while longer, I started to reflect on what Mother’s Day means to me.

Now of course there’s the side of me that wants to get in the car, drive to the city, go to the spa, eat sushi, get my kid infested Yukon detailed, maybe catch a movie, and then get home after the kids have already been put to bed.

For one my husband has to work today and I don’t expect my teenager to play parent all day.

But in reality I know that I have a 6 year old little boy out there that has been talking about his Mother’s Day gift he made for me for the last week and the excitement in his eyes when he talks about is just one of the biggest joys of motherhood.

On Thursday the preschool my girls attend, had a Mother’s Day celebration and when I opened the gift that my 4 year old made (a mold of clay shaped as her hand) I began to cry because as a mom I know her hand will not always be that small.

My 5 year old planted Baby’s Breath in a little pot she painted and decorated and we have been watering and taking care of it everyday.  She’s been waiting patiently to plant it into a bigger pot.  I will of course treasure the tiny decorated pot forever.

Mother’s Day is not just about a day, it’s about being a mother all the time.  Being a mother whose loved and adored by her children.  It’s about making sacrifices to ensure their happiness.  Being there when the world or life fails them sometimes. Putting your own thoughts and frustrations aside  even when they become adults.

To always be the mother they can turn to.

It’s about being the best mom you can be and being rewarded with their love and admiration.  It’s precious…never take it for granted.

Mothers Day 2016 motherhood
From one mother to another, hug your kids, kiss your kids, and always love your kids and show that love because they grow so fast and I for one never want to look back on my motherhood and have too many regrets.

Happy Mother’s Day,


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Throwback Thursday ~I Am A MomWho

 

From the time the little mini monsters come out of our bodies it is a constant cater to everything pertaining to their well being.  Our own well being suddenly becomes extinct.  We no longer have days at the salon or days spent window shopping at the mall…oh wait I didn’t really do that even before I had kids.

motherhood, mommies, parenting, humor

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*Gets to stay home and watch her children grow each and every day.

~This also means I am I am never away from you…well sometimes but rarely

*Loves to watch every exciting new moment discovered in your eyes.

~Especially when you decide to apply toothpaste to every crevice of the house…or peanut butter…oh and let’s not forget SYRUP!

*Couldn’t imagine her life without you in it.

~Just please let me sleep in for once!

*Watches you interact with one another and realizes the choice to have more then one was the right choice.

~Then you start fighting!  Thought destroyed…moment over, done, past tense.

*Sees how much you are growing up and starting to be more independent by picking up your toys.

~Oh wait that requires bribery and a big bottle glass of wine when we are done.

*Wants to love you, and squeeze you, and smother you with kisses.

~What’s that smell?  Is that fucking poop in your hair?

*Loves to watch you run and play outside as the sun beats on your beautiful face.

~Is that dog shit on your shoe?  GET BACK OUTSIDE!

*Just look how innocent you look while you are sleeping.

~Whats that on your sheets?  IS THAT PERMANENT MARKER?!?!

*Would do anything for her children.

~No you can’t have another sibling!

*Loves being your mommy.

~Through good times and bad…all the time.

Mommy Of The Year,

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