Why Are Parents Beating Ourselves Up Over Not Spending Enough Time With Our Kids?

Lately I have seen a lot of blog posts in regards to parents beating ourselves up over not spending enough time with our kids.

The truth is there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything that we “wish” we could accomplish. ¬†This includes spending ample time with our children. ¬†And quite honestly what is the perfect ample time amount?

Kids grow fast, life passes by without us noticing sometimes.  Like one minute we are sipping on pumpkin lattes and the next we are sun-kissing our bodies in the middle of summer.  And in that short amount of time our kids are getting bigger and we, *gasps*, are getting older.

bad parenting raising kids

So why are we beating ourselves up over whether or not we are spending enough time with our kids?

Ask yourself at the end of the day ~

Did my child eat today?  Even if it was Top Ramen with a side of canned fruit.

Was my child clothed today? No one says your children have to look like they just walked out of a kids fashion boutique. ¬†You can put clean clothes on the kids in the morning and before noon it looks like they have been in them for a week. ¬†KIDS ARE FILTHY CREATURES. ¬†And they don’t care that their clothes are dirty so why should we? ¬†Why should we change their clothes every time they get dirty just to make more laundry for ourselves? ¬†I say hell yes to pajama days!

Did I give my child love and affection sometime throughout the day? ¬†Just a hug and an “I love you” goes a long way.

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I sacrifice something for them today? ¬†Even if that entails not finishing a cup of coffee because in the midst of trying to drink said cup of coffee you have now refereed 3 arguments, a meltdown, hearing “STOOOOOOP” for the 100th time, and cleaned some kind of spilled food off any given surface. ¬†**takes sip of said coffee, it’s cold, debates re-heating it in the microwave when another crisis erupts**

Did I get upset or irritated at them at least once today? ¬†Yep, that’s right…if you aren’t getting upset with your kids at least once a day then you’re not doing it right. ¬†We are PARENTS. ¬†That means getting upset and fixing the situation by disciplining your kids is called PARENTING. ¬†There’s too many parents trying to be their kids best friends and that’s partly to blame why we have youth that are out of control.

Does my kid have a warm, safe place to sleep? ¬†A blanket and pillow on the floor is good. ¬†Why you ask? ¬†Because that’s where they fell asleep and I will be damned if I am going to wake the little trolls up. ¬†**sips wine**

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I spend quality time with my child today? ¬†This doesn’t mean that you have to pay attention to them every waking moment. ¬†Smothering them in attention just makes them grow up NEEDING constant attention. ¬† It’s ok to have time for yourself and let them fry their brains watching YouTube videos. ¬†It’s ok to TAKE A SHOWER with the door locked! ¬†It’s ok to feel like you are about to lose your mind so you put them to bed an hour early, pour yourself a cocktail, and wash the daily grind off in a nice bubble bath.

It simply means that you took time in the day to take care of their needs…2 maybe 3 dozen times…and enjoyed these tiny little lives that you created.

Truth is, unless you are just completely absent and someone else is raising your kids for you…as long as you are present and doing everything you “humanly” can to take care of them then you’re spending plenty of time with them. ¬†Give yourself a big pat on the back.

Below are some examples of bad parenting…

bad parenting raising kids right
I am quite certain that pissing on your kids head is not real good parenting.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
Please take note that this is not keeping your child safe.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
This looks like a 70’s circa picture where this would still be considered bad parenting…even if the gun wasn’t loaded.

 

Kids are kids and actually very simple little creatures to make happy.  Does parenting take a lot of effort? Hell yes it does! Some days it sucks the life right out of you and some days you just want to smother them to death with your uncontrollable, unconditional love for them.

One day you’re looking at them wondering where the time has gone and the next you are anxiously waiting for them to get the fu*k out of the house so you can turn their room into a sex chamber for you and the spouse hobby area.

bad parenting raising kids right

They are going to grow up regardless of how much or how little time you are spending with them. ¬†There is no perfect amount. ¬†It’s what works for you and keeps you from going completely crazy and sometimes you aren’t going to have a choice but to spend every waking moment with them because you are their parents and that is your job.

bad parenting raising kids right

But this doesn’t mean sacrifice your sanity or beat yourself up because you decided to take 2 hours out of the day to yourself. ¬†Hell I have taken almost entire days sometimes. ¬†I just make sure I am loaded up on activities that they can entertain themselves with. ¬†That don’t require any help from me to carry out.

It’s not being a bad parent or not spending enough time…it’s being HUMAN!

From one crazy, tired, stressed, happy, loving parent to another,

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What Kind Of Kids Are We Raising?

What Kind Of Kids Are We Raising #kids #raisingkids #parenting

It’s a question I have been asking myself A LOT lately. ¬†What Kind Of Kids Are We Raising?

The spark that finally lit the flame was as I was glancing through one of my local Facebook pages, I find a discussion being made about some comments that were found on a website about Winnemucca’s school system. ¬†As a mother, with one child in the school system (high school) and one starting (elementary school), of course I had to read on. It was basically some parents talking about how their kids weren’t learning anything and that the teachers were all worthless, discriminative, and only cared if you come from a family of money, your kids are actively in sports, or your last name means something. ¬†I don’t know about you, but the last time I checked there weren’t any celebrities living here.

I will be the first to admit that when it comes to homework and teaching math and science…there is no part of it that I feel like doing. ¬†But I also understand that as a parent it is my responsibility to help and teach my child. ¬†On the same note, I also know that they are capable of doing certain things themselves, and will persist that point across when needed.

As a parent you can’t rely on the school system to teach them everything they need to know. ¬†If you don’t trust in the school system, then get more actively involved ….meaning… make appointments with staff, teachers, and anyone else who will listen to what it is you need to be heard. ¬†Get to know your children’s teachers and show them that you are concerned about your child’s school performance.

What Kind OF Kids Are We Raising #parenting #raisingkids

I think certain measures only need to be taken if the act of going to school everyday is causing serious mental anxiety on your child. ¬†If your child comes home complaining that a teacher raised their voice at them or told them to shut up be quiet and sit down (I am talking middle school to high school)…stop and think how many times you have done that. ¬†Try to think about the teacher who is responsible for multiple students in one class. ¬†I can only speak for myself, but I have a lot of respect for any one person, especially a teacher, that could handle that many revolving attitudes at once. ¬†That’s not saying that there aren’t any “bad teachers” out there either. ¬†I do know first hand from having two teenage boys in the school system that not every teacher is justified of having the profession of teaching.

It amazes me how upset I have seen some parents get because their kid got a scolding from a teacher.  If your child one day decides they want to join the military, how do you think his/her drill sergeant is going to talk to them.  We are preparing our kids for LIFE people! Wake up and quit whining unless you have a real reason to whine about something.

What Kind Of Kids Are We Raising #parenting #raisingkids

The word bullying is thrown around so much these days that I am beginning to wonder if they are going to create a medication for it. ¬†Yes, I understand that bullying exists…you give me a decade that it hasn’t? ¬†I remember being bullied several times throughout my “school life” but back then we just dealt with it an moved on. ¬† This doesn’t mean teach your kids to be bullies but rather teach them to defend themselves mentally and physically against said bullies. ¬†Teach your kids to be smarter than the bullies. ¬†Start this by teaching them at home that life isn’t always fair and you have to just get back up, dust your pants off, and move on!

If your child is having mental breakdowns from social media then GET THEM OFF THE INTERNET. ¬†Close their social media accounts. ¬†If they aren’t level-headed enough to understand that people can be hurtful via certain social medias then they aren’t mature enough to be on the computer unless it’s to look up info for a homework assignment. ¬†If social media is causing a problem….SHUT IT DOWN! ¬†Be parents! ¬† Because by you letting them walk all over you, you are only teaching them to let someone else walk all over them.

Just voicing my opinion,

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Sex And Parenting

As the life of married with children goes, as a couple there are always kinks in trying to find time to have sex relations. With this being said, my husband and I are usually pretty clever at finding these ways.  I am pretty sure, that our second child, was conceived as a quicky in the closet.

On a recent morning, my husband was so very thoughtful and let me sleep in for a change. ¬†He also made breakfast and brought it to me in bed. ¬†This made for a happy wife. ¬†And you know how the saying goes….happy wife…happy life…and possibly a ¬†happy ending for you, dear husband!

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We felt the kids were all occupied with doing something so we decided to seize the opportunity. ¬†We locked the door and proceeded to “get down to business”. ¬†It only takes about 5 minutes from start to finish. ¬†Let’s face it…when you have kids quickies become a prerequisite. ¬†Just as we were about to “seal the deal” we heard the lock on our door pop. ¬† We both looked at each other with a “WTF?” look on our faces as we scurried to get off of one another ourselves covered up.

Standing in the doorway was our 5 year old…with a tooth pick in his hand that he had some how figured out how to pop our lock with! ¬†My husband tried to be stern and explain to him that mommy and daddy’s door is locked for a reason and not for him to mess with it. ¬†But we couldn’t help but burst out laughing at the entire situation. ¬†Our son could have been scarred for life. ¬†Then again maybe it would have taught him a lesson.

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Note to self:  Next trip to the hardware store will be for a lock that requires an actual key to open it!

Any other parents have a funny story to share?  I would love to hear.

Indecently Exposed,

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Friday Frolics

Exploding Diapers

Exploding Diapers.

Taking a moment to visit the archives!

Mommy To The Rescue

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Today was “dress as your favorite Dr. Suess character” day at school. ¬†Luckily my little M still had her costume from Halloween and it still fit. ¬†As for my little B…mommy had to get crafty. ¬†Nothing like coming up with ideas at 6:30 in the morning…without a cup of coffee even in my system yet.

I had actually thought of the idea of “Thing 2” yesterday and went to our local Wal-mart late last night to see what I could gather up. ¬†Needless to say they had nothing on my list of ideas. ¬†N*O*T*H*I*N*G. ¬†No surprise there really.

I found the blue beanie buried beneath the last of the winter stuff and bought some blue ribbon to pin to the top of the hat to make it look more like wild blue hair. ¬†He’s wearing a pajama top, and that is literally sketch board paper that I used a “Sharpie” to write “THING 2” upon and pin it to the shirt. ¬†What a way for me to improvise! **pats herself on the back**

I am always so last minute with everything and I keep thinking that one day it will change.  But the fact is I have been this way since I can remember.  I just cough it up to I work best under pressure.  He was excited about the costume and the smile on his face put a smile on mine.

And to add one more thing that doesn’t really relate to my topic but I just feel the need to share is…sometimes as a parent I am constantly thinking that I am messing motherhood up, but this morning (every morning actually but for some reason this morning it really hit me)¬†as we were walking to the front door of the preschool….my little B man ran to get to the door first and upon opening it said “all my ladies first”. ¬†I realized I must be doing something right to have such a sweet boy.

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Pass The Xanax My Teen Is Driving

Yesterday our oldest got his driver’s license!!! ((looks at bottle of bailey’s and then looks at her coffee)) ¬†It was his second attempt but he passed. ¬†I should be happy for him and there is a part of me that is because even though it was so many moons ago, I still remember being 16 and so excited that I could finally DRIVE!!! ¬†But now as a parent, being responsible for what my 16 year old does behind the wheel frightens me. ¬†I had to sign a form stating that I will be held responsible for any of his actions while driving. ¬†Like seriously? ¬†I can’t be with him every second and regardless how much we try to teach our teens right from wrong they are still going to make their own decisions. ¬†Decisions that could ultimately haunt their parents. ¬†I totally understand why some parents make the choice not to let their kids get their license until they are 18. ¬†Even though not much changes in a teens mentality between the ages of 16 and 18, at least at 18 they are considered an adult and responsible for their own actions.

'Dad put that sign there to keep tabs on my driving!'

Now Junior B (our 16 year old) has always been a very level headed individual. ¬†Even at the little ol age of 10 when I first met him he was older beyond his years. ¬†An old sole I guess one could say. ¬†He’s not into being the most popular or the best well liked. ¬†He has a handful of friends and he is fine with that. ¬†He doesn’t strive for attention and I can honestly say that he has only made a handful of “truly” stupid choices since I have known him. ¬†Does that mean that I am just going to hand over the keys anytime he needs to get somewhere?….NOPE.

'I've completed driver's ed, auto repair and sex ed. Now may I borrow the car?'

I am sure there will be times that I will use his being able to drive to my full advantage…like when we have run out of milk and I am just too tired to go to the store. ¬†But for now, until we have “tested” the waters…his driving a vehicle without me or hubby in it…will be limited.

Parent Supervision on Teen Driving.

The Twinkle Diaries

A Letter To My Little M

A Letter To My Little M.