7 Tips That Make Life As A Mom That Little Bit Easier

motherhood tips

Being a mom really is everything it’s cracked up to be. It’s amazing and changes a woman’s life in countless ways. Despite all the beauty of it, though, being a mom is incredibly hard. Here are 7 tips that will make life as a mom a little bit easier.

1. Resist the urge to go it alone.


Total self-sufficiency is the motherhood kiss of death. Raising kids is hard, exhausting work. If you’re co-parenting, make sure your partner is doing their fair share. If you’re a single mother, you need to have a network of support. Whether you’re a single mother or half of a parenting dream team, you need to say yes to offers for outside help and you need to specifically ask for help. Family members and friends are usually eager to help out. It takes a village, and if you try to go it alone, you’ll end up permanently exhausted and unhappy.

2. Forget about perfect.


Forget the dreams you had about motherhood. Forget the Pinterest boards full of amazing kid ideas. Forget the images of perfect lives you see from other moms on social media. Lots of days of being a mom will be perfect, full of that incomparable joy you felt the first time you held your baby. But plenty of days will also be hard and messy and not at all perfect. Throw the idea of perfect out the window and you’ll learn to appreciate the magic packed into all those messy days. Stop giving yourself a hard time for failing to live up to those Pinterest boards and celebrity mom Instagram posts. Those are staged glimpses at ideal moments. They’re occasionally achievable, but that’s only one little piece of the picture. Reality, in all its messy glory, is its own kind of perfection.

3. Every age is the best.

Don’t approach your kid’s childhood as groups of fun ages and ages to dread. Forget about the terrible twos and the terrible tweens. Even forget about the magic of babyhood or the delight of having school-age children. Every single age of a child is amazing and special in its own way. Every age is also hard in its own way. The cliche is true: it all goes by so fast. Find something to love and cherish about each age. Don’t miss the magic of right now because you’re living in the past or the future.

4. Remember that mom stuff can be cute and stylish.

Being a mom means owning and hauling around all kinds of things for your kids. Just because it’s for a practical purpose, though, doesn’t mean it has to be ugly! Choose products that fit your sense of style, products that make you smile, products that will make you the envy of all the other moms. Choose a cute diaper bag and you’ll be prepared to keep your baby clean and happy when you’re out and about, but you’ll also feel happy yourself for rocking some sweet baby swag. Shopping for kid stuff can have the same joy as shopping for shoes or handbags when you realize that kid stuff can be cute and fashionable.



5. Remember that being a mom is just one part of who you are.


Motherhood is amazing and can be all-consuming. It’s all too easy to let it completely take over your identity. Remember that there are other parts of you, too. You’re still a partner, child, sibling, career-woman, painter, yogi, churchgoer, sports fan, or whatever else makes you uniquely you. Be a mom, but not a mom to the exclusion of everything else. Take time for yourself. You’ll be happier, but as a bonus, your child will learn a pretty important lesson in seeing you do this.

6. Watch out for clutter.
Having kids means having a lot of extra stuff.

A lot of it is vital and a lot of it is imbued with all kinds of special memories, but a lot of it is clutter. Get in the habit of clearing out what you don’t need regularly or you’ll eventually be looking at a mountain of crap. Go through your kid’s clothing and toy collection and find a new home (donate, give away, sell, trash) for anything you no longer need. Kid art is particularly hard to part with, but you will amass a lot of it very quickly. Save the most special pieces and scan all the rest. You’ll still be able to look back at that scribbled drawing from age 2 and that self-portrait from age 5, but you won’t have to dig through 10 overstuffed bins of artwork to find it. You might even implement a rule that for every new item that comes in the house, one must go out. New toy in, old toy out. Decluttering kid things can get trickier as your child gets older, but it’s another great teaching moment. Involve your kid in the decision-making process for what stays and what goes and it will be less traumatic.

Children are hilarious and parenting is full of hysterical moments. Don’t forget to laugh. Laugh often and take the time to record some of the funniest stories. Keep a journal where you write down all the cute things your kid says or does and mark the date. Whether handwritten or digital, this will be a favorite thing to look back on for many years to come. You will not regret doing this. You might think that you’ll remember all of these moments, but you won’t. Sure, you’ll remember many of them, but a lot of gold will slip through the cracks of your memory. As your kids get older, they’ll love it as well and you can belly laugh about it together. Of course, some of the stories you’ve recorded are sure to be embarrassing to your kids as they get older, but sometimes that makes it even more fun.

Disclaimer:  This post was sent to me as a guest post and none of these words are that of my own.

Domesticated Momster

10 Things You Should Know Before Having 3 Kids ~ Guest Post

I was contacted by Crystal at Baby Follow  to host a guest post about having 3 kids.  And since I have 3 kids and can relate to a lot of this I was of course delighted to have her.

Take it away Crystal…

10 Things You Should Know Before Having 3 Kids

 

Three kids seem to be the perfect number for most couples ñ small enough to keep it manageable but big enough to keep family outings interesting. After Iíve become a mother to 3 kids however, I realized that having 3 of them is NOTHING like having just 2.

Donít get me wrong ñ all my kids are well-loved and cared for! Still, it can be quite shocking to find yourself having 3 little troopers in the house, all under the age of 7! If youíve recently got a 3rd child or planning to have a 3rd one, hereís one housewife advice to another.

1. Sexy Time

Sex pretty much dries up or must be planned like a military operation because for some reason, the kids never synchronize their absence. At least one is always in the house, needs attention, needs food, crying for water, or needs to have monsters in the closet shooed away. Even if youíve got time at night, youíre pretty much too tired to do anything with the hubby.

2. Invest on Distractions

Itís time to get the good baby swing! Thereís nothing quite like a good distraction that lets you do all those little things you used to take for granted ñ like going to the bathroom. It is essential to get the good baby swing as it distracts your youngest and lulls him to sleep quickly. Iíve figured out that once my youngest goes to sleep, the other two are easier to manage.

3. Quiet is Suspicious

Need I say more? Noise is practically a signal of normality in the household. Once everything goes quiet, itís a sure sign that something is wrong.

4. It Takes a Village

tarafleishman.files.wordpress.com
tarafleishman.files.wordpress.com
With two kids, I was still Supermom. I could handle my two boys without asking for help. With the 3rd however, Iíve accepted the ìit takes a villageî adage and called for help, usually from the grandparents.

5. Mess is Endless

http://images.clipartpanda.com
http://images.clipartpanda.com
Even as you pick something up, something new gets thrown on the floor. The mess never really ends with 3 kids ñ and this includes the laundry! Iíve basically placed a huge box on the living room and told my kids to throw anything in there so I can sort them out later and the floor stays clean!

6. Zumba and Other Exercises

Zumba and Other Exercises
http://www.healthline.com
As a stay at home parent, most of my exercises are done through the television. Thatís not possible anymore with 3 active kids. On the plus side, you can get more physical workout just running after your toddlers ñ but this is an all day job! For some reason, theyíre on a schedule when it comes to energy source so that when one is recuperating their energy, the other one is at full speed. A postpartum girdle is a best choice if youíre feeling a bit of strain along your belly area, especially if youíve had a C-section. Wearing this actually helped me get my shape back!

7. Nothing is Constant

What worked for my first two doesnít seem to work with the 3rd when it comes to sleeping time, eating, and play. Hence, I had to change strategies ñ which are a lot like being a brand new parent all over again! Take nothing for granted and be ready to adapt!

8. Helicopter Parenting

With one or even two kids, you could be more involved. For example, Iíd actually help my little girl and boy to pick out their clothes for the day and help them in it. With the 3rd however, Iíve switched to helicopter parenting. It basically means hovering where I simply go check to see if theyíve done what theyíre supposed to do and move on. Although you might want to be involved in every step of their daily life ñ it just becomes impossible!

9. Teach Early

With two kids, my husbandís strategy was divide and conquerí as each of use gets a kid. With the arrival of the 3rd however, this strategy no longer works. I dread the day when our youngest would be able to walk and therefore ñ run. This is why as early as 2, weíve been teaching our middle child how to act and respond when weíre in public in the hope that self-discipline will work its magic.

10. Yes ñ You Will

Lastly, accept that youíre going to mess up ñ itís part of being a parent to 3 active children! Just keep in mind that pretty soon, your kids are going to turn into teens so itís best to relish these moments while you can.

Of course, those are just few of the skills new parents need to learn how to care for their kids. Remember: adapt as you go because no two kids are ever the same, but youíll love them anyway!

You can also reach Crystal at…

Twitter

BabyFollow.com

Facebook

Other People’s Kids

other peoples kids discipline

Before I became a mother, people used to always say “you’ll feel differently about your own kids than you do about other people’s kids”.  There couldn’t be a more truthful statement.

There was a time in my life that I never really wanted kids.  Partly because I couldn’t tolerate other people’s kids.  Sure I had plenty of friends with kids and there were times I would babysit and at one time I even had a friend and her child living with me.  I was around those kids a lot, got used to them, and grew to love them and understand their behaviors.  They were good kids.

kids babysitting humor

Then I would come across kids that weren’t so good.  Whether it was they whined too much, threw too many tantrums, talked back to their parents, or just seemed to not have any discipline WHAT. SO. EVER.  I used to dread when I would get a walk-in client and they had their kids with them (they were usually already throwing a tantrum before they even took a seat)  because inevitably this meant that it was going to take me twice as long to do my job.  Let’s face it, kids aren’t going to sit and be quiet for an hour while you get your nails done.

Now I know that my kids aren’t perfect, and probably get on most people’s nerves, as there are three of them and because they are so close in age they are usually all doing the same thing and making lots of noise while doing it.

And if someone were to tell me that my kids were a lot to handle, I would in no way be offended…I would most likely nod and agree.  But  I am used to them.  And usually have a tendency to get loud and obnoxious with them.  Because they are my kids.

I think that these days we live in a society that has us programmed that disciplining our kids is somehow going to f*ck them up in the head.  Bullshit.

There are people who think that spanking your kids on the ass is a form of abuse.  Bullshit.

There are too many people running around trying to be the “cool” parents instead of saying “NO” and dealing with their kids being pissed off at them.kids discipline productive citezens  Trust me, they will get over it and talking with your kids and explaining things goes a long way.

I think it’s important that when you feel your kids are old enough and mature enough to understand the evil in the world, to explain it to them.  I think my friend Michelle at Rockin Random Mom did that best and explained it in her post about the Brock Turner Story.

This story is a perfect example of a spoiled brat whose father I am quite certain reached deep into his pockets and placed a large amount of money in that greedy judge’s hands.  In case you have been living under a rock you can read about the story here.

It’s just one of the many articles stirring the internet these days.

I have heard people talk about how they teach their kids respect yet I watch them disrespect their parents and the parents sadly don’t correct the behavior. kids respect discipline parenting Teaching them please, thank you, yes sir, no ma’am is all great but if they are then acting out at you, the parent, and you aren’t correcting it, then it’s pretty much pointless.

If they are throwing a temper tantrum because you told them NO and you coddle them instead of taking action…guess what?  Your kid just might turn out to be the next Brock Turner.

Sometimes kids need to learn lessons and not have their parents always bailing them out of these situations.  When a child, whether that child be a toddler, young child, pre-tween, tween, or teenager and they do something wrong it’s our job as parents to correct the problem not ignore it and let them continue to believe it’s ok to behave that way.

And when they are good I also believe in rewarding good behavior.  It goes both ways.

Now please note that all these opinions of raising kids are those of my own and how you choose to raise your kids is completely up to you.  But remember, someday they are going to be adults, making choices, and the better influence you had on them the better adults they will become.

Well unless they are just born with a bad gene … because I do believe too, that some human’s brains are just wired differently and you could be the best parent possible and they could still be a part of the majority of messed up individuals living in society.  Take the Duggers of “19 Kids And Counting” as a perfect example of that.  Of course the first time I ever watched that show I knew that mother was just WAAAAAAY to happy.  No one has that many kids and is that happy.  Seriously.

To All The Good Parents Out There **salutes you**

Domesticated Momster Signature

I am linking this post with the following fabulous linkys…

Domesticated Momster
Cuddle Fairy

Why Are Parents Beating Ourselves Up Over Not Spending Enough Time With Our Kids?

Lately I have seen a lot of blog posts in regards to parents beating ourselves up over not spending enough time with our kids.

The truth is there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything that we “wish” we could accomplish.  This includes spending ample time with our children.  And quite honestly what is the perfect ample time amount?

Kids grow fast, life passes by without us noticing sometimes.  Like one minute we are sipping on pumpkin lattes and the next we are sun-kissing our bodies in the middle of summer.  And in that short amount of time our kids are getting bigger and we, *gasps*, are getting older.

bad parenting raising kids

So why are we beating ourselves up over whether or not we are spending enough time with our kids?

Ask yourself at the end of the day ~

Did my child eat today?  Even if it was Top Ramen with a side of canned fruit.

Was my child clothed today? No one says your children have to look like they just walked out of a kids fashion boutique.  You can put clean clothes on the kids in the morning and before noon it looks like they have been in them for a week.  KIDS ARE FILTHY CREATURES.  And they don’t care that their clothes are dirty so why should we?  Why should we change their clothes every time they get dirty just to make more laundry for ourselves?  I say hell yes to pajama days!

Did I give my child love and affection sometime throughout the day?  Just a hug and an “I love you” goes a long way.

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I sacrifice something for them today?  Even if that entails not finishing a cup of coffee because in the midst of trying to drink said cup of coffee you have now refereed 3 arguments, a meltdown, hearing “STOOOOOOP” for the 100th time, and cleaned some kind of spilled food off any given surface.  **takes sip of said coffee, it’s cold, debates re-heating it in the microwave when another crisis erupts**

Did I get upset or irritated at them at least once today?  Yep, that’s right…if you aren’t getting upset with your kids at least once a day then you’re not doing it right.  We are PARENTS.  That means getting upset and fixing the situation by disciplining your kids is called PARENTING.  There’s too many parents trying to be their kids best friends and that’s partly to blame why we have youth that are out of control.

Does my kid have a warm, safe place to sleep?  A blanket and pillow on the floor is good.  Why you ask?  Because that’s where they fell asleep and I will be damned if I am going to wake the little trolls up.  **sips wine**

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I spend quality time with my child today?  This doesn’t mean that you have to pay attention to them every waking moment.  Smothering them in attention just makes them grow up NEEDING constant attention.   It’s ok to have time for yourself and let them fry their brains watching YouTube videos.  It’s ok to TAKE A SHOWER with the door locked!  It’s ok to feel like you are about to lose your mind so you put them to bed an hour early, pour yourself a cocktail, and wash the daily grind off in a nice bubble bath.

It simply means that you took time in the day to take care of their needs…2 maybe 3 dozen times…and enjoyed these tiny little lives that you created.

Truth is, unless you are just completely absent and someone else is raising your kids for you…as long as you are present and doing everything you “humanly” can to take care of them then you’re spending plenty of time with them.  Give yourself a big pat on the back.

Below are some examples of bad parenting…

bad parenting raising kids right
I am quite certain that pissing on your kids head is not real good parenting.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
Please take note that this is not keeping your child safe.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
This looks like a 70’s circa picture where this would still be considered bad parenting…even if the gun wasn’t loaded.

 

Kids are kids and actually very simple little creatures to make happy.  Does parenting take a lot of effort? Hell yes it does! Some days it sucks the life right out of you and some days you just want to smother them to death with your uncontrollable, unconditional love for them.

One day you’re looking at them wondering where the time has gone and the next you are anxiously waiting for them to get the fu*k out of the house so you can turn their room into a sex chamber for you and the spouse hobby area.

bad parenting raising kids right

They are going to grow up regardless of how much or how little time you are spending with them.  There is no perfect amount.  It’s what works for you and keeps you from going completely crazy and sometimes you aren’t going to have a choice but to spend every waking moment with them because you are their parents and that is your job.

bad parenting raising kids right

But this doesn’t mean sacrifice your sanity or beat yourself up because you decided to take 2 hours out of the day to yourself.  Hell I have taken almost entire days sometimes.  I just make sure I am loaded up on activities that they can entertain themselves with.  That don’t require any help from me to carry out.

It’s not being a bad parent or not spending enough time…it’s being HUMAN!

From one crazy, tired, stressed, happy, loving parent to another,

Domesticated Momster Signature
I am linking this post with the following fab linkys…

Domesticated Momster
My Kid Doesn't Poop Rainbows
Cuddle Fairy
Mummuddlingthrough

Quote Of The Week ~ June 5, 2016


I had this quote in my archives from a few weeks ago where I had posted it to Instagram and Facebook.  

I had actually meant to use it for a “Quote Of The Week” a while back, but somewhere in my blogging hiatus, not writing much lately, and the new adventure I have embarked on that I will be writing about, it had gotten brushed aside.

I LOVE this quote.  It sums up motherhood perfectly.  Or even parenting in general.  We want to teach them and watch them grow into great adults but we get sad when we’ve actually accomplished it.  Sad that they are leaving us but happy that we kept them alive!

They’re no longer those babies that once looked at us with such admiration.  

They’re all grown up.

I am linking this with the following fab linkys

Cuddle Fairy

Throwback Thursday ~I Am A MomWho

 

From the time the little mini monsters come out of our bodies it is a constant cater to everything pertaining to their well being.  Our own well being suddenly becomes extinct.  We no longer have days at the salon or days spent window shopping at the mall…oh wait I didn’t really do that even before I had kids.

motherhood, mommies, parenting, humor

mother who mommy motherhood mom

*Gets to stay home and watch her children grow each and every day.

~This also means I am I am never away from you…well sometimes but rarely

*Loves to watch every exciting new moment discovered in your eyes.

~Especially when you decide to apply toothpaste to every crevice of the house…or peanut butter…oh and let’s not forget SYRUP!

*Couldn’t imagine her life without you in it.

~Just please let me sleep in for once!

*Watches you interact with one another and realizes the choice to have more then one was the right choice.

~Then you start fighting!  Thought destroyed…moment over, done, past tense.

*Sees how much you are growing up and starting to be more independent by picking up your toys.

~Oh wait that requires bribery and a big bottle glass of wine when we are done.

*Wants to love you, and squeeze you, and smother you with kisses.

~What’s that smell?  Is that fucking poop in your hair?

*Loves to watch you run and play outside as the sun beats on your beautiful face.

~Is that dog shit on your shoe?  GET BACK OUTSIDE!

*Just look how innocent you look while you are sleeping.

~Whats that on your sheets?  IS THAT PERMANENT MARKER?!?!

*Would do anything for her children.

~No you can’t have another sibling!

*Loves being your mommy.

~Through good times and bad…all the time.

Mommy Of The Year,

Domesticated Momster Signature

I am linking up this post with the following fab linky parties…because I never miss a party

Domesticated Momster
Mummuddlingthrough

Cool? Not Cool

Recently my 15 year old monster M came to his father and I suggesting that he wanted a long board.  It’s like a skate board but with a longer board and usually pointed at one or both ends.

long board teenagers parenting accident

Now let’s just say that my 15 year old, like most typical teenage boys his age, often don’t think before attempting to do something they think is “cool”.

Well last weekend he decided to try a leap of faith right down one of the steep hills in which our neighborhood resides.  And when I say steep I mean like somewhere between 90* angle and vertical.   This resulted in a crash landing and let’s just say the pavement won.

When we bought the long board we also bought him a helmet.  But do you think he was wearing it?  NO!  Of course not, cause that would be “uncool”.  Luckily he didn’t hit his head but scraped his body up pretty badly, particularly the palm of his hand which I am quite certain upon observation was missing about 1/8 inch layer of skin.  This would be the same hand that last year he scraped riding a skate board down the same hill.  You think he would have learned his lesson.  Nope, not our boy.

long boarding equipment safety
See this guy?  He appears to be super cool and guess what?  Is also wearing all the right safety gear!

For the past several days he has been applying antibiotic ointment (I must have 10 tubes of that stuff in this house) and wrapping it and keeping it clean.  He has also been seeing the school nurse throughout the day to get it cleaned and wrapped as well.

So today, much to my surprise, I get a phone call from the school nurse.  I was in Zumba class so I didn’t hear it but I do check my phone in between songs just in case there is an emergency.  The number was a school number so I stepped outside to listen to the message.  As I am listening to it my phone starts ringing again and it’s my son’s phone number.

I answer.

It’s the school nurse calling me from my son’s number.  Before I can even get the words out that I had just got done listening to her message, she starts going on the entire spiel again.  For like 5 minutes she is telling me about my son’s hand and that she feels it needs to be checked by a doctor…which she also had put in the message.  So I tell her that I will make an appointment, thanks for calling me, and we hang up.

And I am irritated.

For one, unless his arm has fallen off, or there’s a bone broken, or an actual emergency…there is no reason to call my phone twice.  Yes I realize that it was just a Zumba class but I would have gotten the message when I was done and called the doctor’s office and made an appt.  Which is exactly what I did…when I was done.  He has an appointment today.

What baffles me more is that I am constantly reading on my small towns Facebook pages about the fact that there are kids being bullied and stuff happening at school that no one of authority seems to want to get involved in.  Yet here is my son, with his scraped hand, and suddenly I am called twice.

So now I sit here, wondering if the school nurse thinks we are awful parents because we didn’t take him to the doctor when it first happened.  Or that we haven’t been checking it every night to see how it is doing.  Personally I can’t stand to look at things like that, if I could then I would have been a nurse.  I can handle just about every other bodily fluid but blood….nope.  But he’s also a 15 year old boy who should know if it’s getting better or worse.

 quotes teenagers be yourself cool 
I am also just plain irritated because he really needs to learn to stop and think before he does something he finds to be “cool”.  Even the friend that he was with, who has ridden a long board for quite some time, said he wouldn’t have tried something so stupid.

So could someone please tell me why my son thought it would be such a fab idea?

Ugh,

domesticated momster signature

I am linking this post with the following fab linkys…

Life with Baby Kicks
Keep Calm and Carry On Linking Sunday