Why Are Parents Beating Ourselves Up Over Not Spending Enough Time With Our Kids?

Lately I have seen a lot of blog posts in regards to parents beating ourselves up over not spending enough time with our kids.

The truth is there isn’t enough time in the day to do everything that we “wish” we could accomplish.  This includes spending ample time with our children.  And quite honestly what is the perfect ample time amount?

Kids grow fast, life passes by without us noticing sometimes.  Like one minute we are sipping on pumpkin lattes and the next we are sun-kissing our bodies in the middle of summer.  And in that short amount of time our kids are getting bigger and we, *gasps*, are getting older.

bad parenting raising kids

So why are we beating ourselves up over whether or not we are spending enough time with our kids?

Ask yourself at the end of the day ~

Did my child eat today?  Even if it was Top Ramen with a side of canned fruit.

Was my child clothed today? No one says your children have to look like they just walked out of a kids fashion boutique.  You can put clean clothes on the kids in the morning and before noon it looks like they have been in them for a week.  KIDS ARE FILTHY CREATURES.  And they don’t care that their clothes are dirty so why should we?  Why should we change their clothes every time they get dirty just to make more laundry for ourselves?  I say hell yes to pajama days!

Did I give my child love and affection sometime throughout the day?  Just a hug and an “I love you” goes a long way.

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I sacrifice something for them today?  Even if that entails not finishing a cup of coffee because in the midst of trying to drink said cup of coffee you have now refereed 3 arguments, a meltdown, hearing “STOOOOOOP” for the 100th time, and cleaned some kind of spilled food off any given surface.  **takes sip of said coffee, it’s cold, debates re-heating it in the microwave when another crisis erupts**

Did I get upset or irritated at them at least once today?  Yep, that’s right…if you aren’t getting upset with your kids at least once a day then you’re not doing it right.  We are PARENTS.  That means getting upset and fixing the situation by disciplining your kids is called PARENTING.  There’s too many parents trying to be their kids best friends and that’s partly to blame why we have youth that are out of control.

Does my kid have a warm, safe place to sleep?  A blanket and pillow on the floor is good.  Why you ask?  Because that’s where they fell asleep and I will be damned if I am going to wake the little trolls up.  **sips wine**

bad parenting raising kids right

Did I spend quality time with my child today?  This doesn’t mean that you have to pay attention to them every waking moment.  Smothering them in attention just makes them grow up NEEDING constant attention.   It’s ok to have time for yourself and let them fry their brains watching YouTube videos.  It’s ok to TAKE A SHOWER with the door locked!  It’s ok to feel like you are about to lose your mind so you put them to bed an hour early, pour yourself a cocktail, and wash the daily grind off in a nice bubble bath.

It simply means that you took time in the day to take care of their needs…2 maybe 3 dozen times…and enjoyed these tiny little lives that you created.

Truth is, unless you are just completely absent and someone else is raising your kids for you…as long as you are present and doing everything you “humanly” can to take care of them then you’re spending plenty of time with them.  Give yourself a big pat on the back.

Below are some examples of bad parenting…

bad parenting raising kids right
I am quite certain that pissing on your kids head is not real good parenting.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
Please take note that this is not keeping your child safe.

 

bad parenting raising kids right
This looks like a 70’s circa picture where this would still be considered bad parenting…even if the gun wasn’t loaded.

 

Kids are kids and actually very simple little creatures to make happy.  Does parenting take a lot of effort? Hell yes it does! Some days it sucks the life right out of you and some days you just want to smother them to death with your uncontrollable, unconditional love for them.

One day you’re looking at them wondering where the time has gone and the next you are anxiously waiting for them to get the fu*k out of the house so you can turn their room into a sex chamber for you and the spouse hobby area.

bad parenting raising kids right

They are going to grow up regardless of how much or how little time you are spending with them.  There is no perfect amount.  It’s what works for you and keeps you from going completely crazy and sometimes you aren’t going to have a choice but to spend every waking moment with them because you are their parents and that is your job.

bad parenting raising kids right

But this doesn’t mean sacrifice your sanity or beat yourself up because you decided to take 2 hours out of the day to yourself.  Hell I have taken almost entire days sometimes.  I just make sure I am loaded up on activities that they can entertain themselves with.  That don’t require any help from me to carry out.

It’s not being a bad parent or not spending enough time…it’s being HUMAN!

From one crazy, tired, stressed, happy, loving parent to another,

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