Throwback Thursday ~ 25 Things That Piss Me Off

I wrote this post about a year ago and realize that all these things still annoy me and I could probably add to the list but I will just make a Part 3 instead.  But I have chosen this post for my Throwback Thursday pick!


Things That Piss Me Off Mad Anger Annoying

Another 25 things that really put me in a tizzy…you can see the first 25 here.

People at bars these days…did I act that stupid when I was young?

People In Bars Things That Piss Me Off

When my little monsters decide that they want to nap at 5 in the evening and then stay up half the night.

Anything relating to cleaning. ¬†I usually just turn on an episode of “Hoarders” and then realize that my house looks just fine.


The Raiders football team along with The Chiefs and The Chargers.

My husband’s smoking. ¬†Although he is in the process of quitting.

(UPDATE: ¬†He quit for a minute and has finally realized that he can’t casually smoke while drinking, he started Chantix again yesterday…let’s keep our fingers¬†crossed that it sticks this time)

The 1st of the month at Wal-Mart.  Have you ever been to Wal-Mart on the 1st of the month?  I would highly suggest NOT doing it.

When I order food and they get it wrong. ¬†I never complain about it either cause I am afraid they will take it back and spit in it….I do however leave a reflection of it in my tip. ¬†I have also been known to leave notes on the backs of my receipts to let them know why their tip wasn’t more. ¬†And if you are ever mad about an order from a fast food establishment…call the corporate office and complain! ¬†They will send you coupons for FREE stuff!

When a TV show that I love either ends or gets canceled for no reason!  This is especially true when I watch a first season of something and LOVE it and then it never gets a second season.  And I am just left dangling about what happened.  So annoying!

Pissed Off My Show Was Cancelled

When the temperature gets over 100 degrees.  Anything over 100 is just plain hot, hot, hot!

When I am out of wine vodka whiskey beer booze.  This is a shitty bad situation for all of those around me as well.

Recently my neighbors have made me mad asking that my husband and I keep it down in our own backyard.  And it was just the two of us!

Getting old.  My mind says I am 20 something but my body has a tendency to tell me otherwise.

When I spend precious time watching a horrible movie.  I feel like it is just such a waste of my time.

Bored Pissed Off

When I forget to take said movie back to Redox and end up paying way too much for it.  That really irritates me!

Toys!  Everywhere there are toys!  Because some days I am just too fucking preoccupied busy to constantly tell the kids to pick up their toys.

Stepping On A Lego Toys

Trying to think about “What’s for dinner” every single day!

Sticky floors.  Especially summertime when Watermelon is in season and popsicles.

When someone asks me the same question that I already answered a few times before.  My husband is notorious for this.

Liars. ¬†I can’t stand people who lie. ¬†Especially when the truth was so much easier to tell rather then a snowball of lies.

Solicitors. ¬†I even have a “No Soliciting” sign on my front door and those beepity beep beep beepers still ring my doorbell. ¬†Which then rally’s up the kids and my nerves!

PMS.  Probably the cause of this entire rant!

Whirlpool Corporation.  You can read all about that story here.  I am actually surprised it took me this long to mention them.

(UPDATE: ¬†After all the fuss I made and being blocked from their Twitter, they did finally replace the part at their own cost…it now sits in my garage as a back-up washer.)

Every time that something in my house breaks.  I mean what happened to shit lasting?  Nothing is made right anymore.  Yes I realize I have a large family but seriously so were most of the families I knew growing up and they had shit that lasted for d-e-c-a-d-e-s!

When my kids keep getting up after I have put them to bed. ¬†I have a great story about that here. ¬†Make sure you watch the video narrated by Samuel L. Jackson. ¬†It’s hilarious but make sure your kids aren’t in “ear” distance. ¬†The F-bomb is said….A LOT!

Yours Truly,

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9 More Sleeps

9 more sleeps.

This morning I kept mumbling that to myself in my head whilst trying to get the kids up and ready for school.  I’m pretty sure I mumbled it out loud after telling my 3 year old, for the fifth or sixth time to please go use the potty (because inevitably if I don’t remind her then she waits until she is fully dressed and then suddenly remembers she has to go), I said it out loud and clear after explaining to my 6 year old that YES he must put clean underwear on everyday…even if he doesn’t happen to take a shower that morning…HE MUST PUT CLEAN UNDERWEAR ON!  And what is so hard about changing one’s underwear anyway! UGH!

Oh and let’s not leave the 4 year old out of this, who took 5 minutes to decide exactly what it was she wanted for breakfast.  Like she literally just stood there…staring into nowhere while me, her mother, is about to lose her shit!

motherhood humor overload vacation

It didn’t help that I was awakened for the third day in a row waaaaaay before my alarm was due to go off and when the light started to shine through the blinds and I peeked through them, and what should appear???…..CLOUDS!  Everywhere CLOUDS! NO SUN!!!  It’s the end of March and it’s 27*F when we left for the school run.

Which brings me to my teenager, who has his driving permit.  He took it upon himself by getting in the car before me this morning  and decided that he was going to drive the school run.  As you can see I am still here to write about it but let’s just say that his parking skills are in need of help and I am quite certain that the bottom of my front end has some lovely new scrapes from coming in contact with the curb.  **sighs and grits teeth**.

kids parenting humor motherhood

9 more sleeps.

This is when a long awaited and much needed, KIDLESS vacation begins.  I have checked the weather where we are going and the day after our arrival it is supposed to be 86*F and SUNNY!!!  And you know where I am going to be?  Laying by the pool, basking in the glory of that sunshine.  With sunscreen of course.  And a cocktail. And no one saying “MOMMY, MOM, MOTHER, MOMMY, MOM…???”

Now yes, I know that this is going to be the longest I have ever been away from my kids, and I know that I am going to miss them because even when I have a mommy day in the city for 1 day I miss them, but today I am not sure if my cycle is getting ready to start or I am just plain in motherhood overload but 9 more sleeps can’t get here fast enough!!!

bad day motherhood overload vacation
And it’s not even noon yet!
*Disclaimer:  Love my kids to infinity and beyond but today is a “let’s cut the shit, motherhood isn’t always a bed of roses, sometimes it’s more like a long walk on a bed of legos with bare feet” kind of day!

One nerve away from crazy,

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Cool? Not Cool

Recently my 15 year old monster M came to his father and I suggesting that he wanted a long board.  It’s like a skate board but with a longer board and usually pointed at one or both ends.

long board teenagers parenting accident

Now let’s just say that my 15 year old, like most typical teenage boys his age, often don’t think before attempting to do something they think is “cool”.

Well last weekend he decided to try a leap of faith right down one of the steep hills in which our neighborhood resides.  And when I say steep I mean like somewhere between 90* angle and vertical.   This resulted in a crash landing and let’s just say the pavement won.

When we bought the long board we also bought him a helmet.  But do you think he was wearing it?  NO!  Of course not, cause that would be “uncool”.  Luckily he didn’t hit his head but scraped his body up pretty badly, particularly the palm of his hand which I am quite certain upon observation was missing about 1/8 inch layer of skin.  This would be the same hand that last year he scraped riding a skate board down the same hill.  You think he would have learned his lesson.  Nope, not our boy.

long boarding equipment safety
See this guy?  He appears to be super cool and guess what?  Is also wearing all the right safety gear!

For the past several days he has been applying antibiotic ointment (I must have 10 tubes of that stuff in this house) and wrapping it and keeping it clean.  He has also been seeing the school nurse throughout the day to get it cleaned and wrapped as well.

So today, much to my surprise, I get a phone call from the school nurse.  I was in Zumba class so I didn’t hear it but I do check my phone in between songs just in case there is an emergency.  The number was a school number so I stepped outside to listen to the message.  As I am listening to it my phone starts ringing again and it’s my son’s phone number.

I answer.

It’s the school nurse calling me from my son’s number.  Before I can even get the words out that I had just got done listening to her message, she starts going on the entire spiel again.  For like 5 minutes she is telling me about my son’s hand and that she feels it needs to be checked by a doctor…which she also had put in the message.  So I tell her that I will make an appointment, thanks for calling me, and we hang up.

And I am irritated.

For one, unless his arm has fallen off, or there’s a bone broken, or an actual emergency…there is no reason to call my phone twice.  Yes I realize that it was just a Zumba class but I would have gotten the message when I was done and called the doctor’s office and made an appt.  Which is exactly what I did…when I was done.  He has an appointment today.

What baffles me more is that I am constantly reading on my small towns Facebook pages about the fact that there are kids being bullied and stuff happening at school that no one of authority seems to want to get involved in.  Yet here is my son, with his scraped hand, and suddenly I am called twice.

So now I sit here, wondering if the school nurse thinks we are awful parents because we didn’t take him to the doctor when it first happened.  Or that we haven’t been checking it every night to see how it is doing.  Personally I can’t stand to look at things like that, if I could then I would have been a nurse.  I can handle just about every other bodily fluid but blood….nope.  But he’s also a 15 year old boy who should know if it’s getting better or worse.

 quotes teenagers be yourself cool 
I am also just plain irritated because he really needs to learn to stop and think before he does something he finds to be “cool”.  Even the friend that he was with, who has ridden a long board for quite some time, said he wouldn’t have tried something so stupid.

So could someone please tell me why my son thought it would be such a fab idea?


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To The Gene Pool Of My Stepsons:

Let me just start this lovely blog rant off by saying how ridiculously FATUOUS  you are.  You can’t even make a Facebook post without at least 10-15 grammatical errors.  And your posts are always some depressing analogy of how you interpret your life.  Like somehow anyone is listening. I would like to know how someone can complain so much about their life when they are responsible for every choice they have made.  We all make bad choices but let’s face it…the majority of us try to learn from our mistakes and not keep repeating them over and over and over again.

You complain that I have never bothered to get to know you? Really? I am raising your blood line and I am somehow supposed to reach out to you?  Make the effort?  Excuse me while I laugh my ass off at that.  Based on the facts I have gathered in the last seven years, I don’t want to get to know you.  The two boys I have been raising in those same seven years are almost grown…one foot out the door to adulthood and now you think that I need to have a relationship with you?

Here’s an idea…maybe you should have been building a better relationship with your blood line.  Talking to them on the phone is not having a relationship with them.  And I am sorry to say but kids aren’t raised on emotional support alone.  It takes a lot of financial support to raise them as well.  But how would you know since you have never raised any from birth to adulthood.

Over the years I have seen you make promises to them that have been repeatedly broken.  So much so that now when you “promise” them something I see them just roll their eyes and carry on having no faith in your “promises” what-so-ever.  You like to refer to me as “being judgmental” I am a MOTHER…therefore I have the right to be judgmental about someone who gave birth to children and then left them to be raised by others.  And your excuses of “I was young and stupid and an addict” don’t fly with me.  We were all young and stupid once.  But the day I decided to become a mother was the day that “being stupid and selfish” was no longer a choice.  Maybe if you weren’t ready to get your life in order then you should have taken means to not get pregnant.


My husband and I have been raising those boys without ever asking for a single penny from you and yet you want to make us out to be the bad people when we won’t “pitch in” to help finance their trip to see you?  Like somehow that’s our responsibility?  Here’s another idea…why don’t you get a job and pay for something yourself for them, for once!  Could you please explain to me why you don’t work?  You don’t have any kids at home.  You are a 30 something adult.  And yet you just sit at home and do nothing.  But then need financial help to buy a ticket for your blood line to come visit.  According to you “love is all you need”.  Well love doesn’t buy gas, plane, or bus tickets.  News flash there.

Now you think that you want to give me parenting advice?  That’s hilarious coming from someone who has never had to actually BE a parent.  Even for the extremely short and most crucial time that you were in their lives you were an addict and on drugs and never had to deal with any REAL emotion.  They were so young then and like sponges and maybe in your warped mind you think that they don’t remember but let me assure you that they do.  And it’s like somehow you don’t seem to realize that I have been around for the last 7 years and watched enough of your bullshit to form my own opinion of what type of mother aunt person you are.   And quite frankly I have never had such a despise for anyone the way I have for you two.  You want to send me messages talking about how to raise your blood line but then can’t take the lashing back of truth that I spit back.  You have no right what so ever to tell me how to raise a turnip let alone a child.  So please stop wasting my time with that.  Matter of fact just stop wasting my time at all.  Nothing you ever say to me will change how I feel and I have no desire to have any kind of relationship with either of you…EVER!

Not a single fuck given,

domesticated momster


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Dear Mr. Weather

Yo asshole could you make up your mind! ¬†Yesterday it was a lovely 72 degrees outside and today I wake up to snowing!!! ¬†It’s no wonder that we are all sick here.


I wanted this weather a long time ago. ¬†Now….now I am ready for spring and warmer weather, less clothes, less laundry to do, and the littles being able to go outside without being bundled up like an eskimo. ¬†Do you know how long it takes to get 3 toddlers bundled up to go outside in the cold? ¬†It’s a real bitch! ¬†Takes 30 minutes to locate all the necessities and then another 20 to put them on. ¬†And then guess what? ¬†They want to come back inside 5 minutes later. ¬†And what am I suppose to do say “no”? ¬†You did notice that I said I had 3 toddlers right? ¬†I am outnumbered here. ¬†Saying “no’ to their wishes means having to listen to screaming and crying and temper tantrums. ¬† And I for one don’t like that. ¬†Also, I don’t have the option of duct taping their mouths and locking them in their rooms. ¬†That is frowned upon around here. ¬†Will put me right into “horrible mother” status!

There has been a constant circle of illness in my house since before Christmas!!! ¬†I am tired of wiping noses and finding booger infested tissue stuffed in every crevice of my house. ¬†I am tired of BUYING tissue. ¬†Even Costco doesn’t sell a quantity substantial enough for this monstrous, snot blowing household!


I am tired of trips to the doctors office. ¬†They have become to know me by first name there. ¬†Hell, they know my voice when I call! ¬†“Good morning Mrs. Souza…which one of the flock will you be bringing in today?” ¬†Next they will have quarantined off a room just for us! ¬†The sickies!!!


Don’t get me started on how many bottles of medicine I have acquired in my cabinet. ¬†I have to pay close attention to the labels since I have 3 different toddlers at 3 different stages. ¬†One can’t take this and the other one has a bad reaction to that. ¬†And could someone please tell me why they have to make medicine taste fruity? ¬†That just makes my kids want some even when they aren’t sick! ¬†Like it’s candy or a treat. ¬†I then have to lie to them and tell them there isn’t anymore and that mommy will get some at the store. ¬†Bad mommy for lying.

Now I am not sure that this is all to blame on you Mr. Weather but your daily forecast ¬†shenanigans aren’t helping. ¬†I don’t mind some rain with warmer temperatures…but this 30 some degrees atmospheric pressure is enough to switch me from wine to vodka!



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Writing 101: Unlock The Mind

So many things racing through my mind today! ¬†Up most of the night with a sick kid. ¬†Missed my morning gym visit at 4:45am. ¬†Nothing like trying to text my work-out partner with one eye open to let her know I wasn’t going to be there.

Woke up and called the clinic to get an appointment for Little M today in which they replied for me to bring her in right then because there was no one else there. ¬†Get up, get her up, rush her to get dressed, I rush to get dressed…off we go….only to get there and the doctor on duty doesn’t see kids under 6! ¬†WTF??? ¬†No point in yelling at the front desk lady. ¬†I could tell by her voice that she wasn’t the one that informed me to bring her in without asking her age.

Back home we go….

Off to kindergarten registration goes my husband with Little B man. ¬†Let’s not mention that my husband is a bit grumpy today due to the fact that he isn’t feeling well. ¬†Yeah let’s not mention that.

Husband returns and then grabs all the info he needs to go and register our new family-mobile. ¬†One advantage to living in a small town is the fact that the DMV is never really busy. ¬†He was there and back in about 30 minutes. ¬†$700 for vehicle registration!! Holy Shit!!! ¬†**feels a headache coming on** ¬†Still can’t believe my Little B man is starting kindergarten this fall. ¬†**wipes bittersweet tear of joy from her cheek**

Meanwhile I am trying to catch up on some blogging since yesterday it was completely out of the question. ¬†Drive for 2 hours to the city, sit in a tattoo chair for 3 hours, run a few errands…realize I am not feeling well one bit…while loading up the truck with my Costco goods a truck full of middle eastern men…not kidding like 6 of them packed into a truck…stop to ask me if I would like to follow them back to their body shop and repair the dent in the back of my truck. ¬† Do I look stupid? ¬†Upon staring at them in a dumb founded look I notice that their own truck needs some work done to it so I reply…”Maybe you should fix your own truck first.” ¬†I go about my business and they drive off. ¬†2 hours I drive back to get home. ¬†I am tired…do a bit of social media and off to bed I go.

Now my poor sick little girl has been coming in every 5 minutes and asking when we are going to go see the doctor…she has an appointment at 11:30. ¬†I can’t see past the snot and eye boogers to see what is usually her pretty little face. ¬†My husband is currently on the phone making our family trip reservations and is so proud of himself that he is gyrating ¬†thrusting his hips at me like he somehow wants a pat on the the balls head. ¬†It appears that he must be feeling better about himself.

Now that I have been interrupted numerous times during this writing challenge that I am just supposed to write whatever is coming to my mind…my mind is lost…and even after explaining to my husband what I am trying to do ….he is still foaming at the mouth talking about who knows what. ¬†“I am sorry honey did you say something?” ¬†Oh look at the time….

A Letter To The “Not So Homeless” Man On The Curb At Wal-mart

You sir are an asshole.

Last week I took pity on you and bought you a breakfast sandwich and an orange juice. ¬†I refuse to give anyone, who pan handles, money for fear that I am just supporting their addiction, but I do believe no one should be hungry in this country. ¬†Although that sandwich and juice weren’t much it was still $3 that I could have spent on my family instead of wasting it on your dishonest self.

Often there are times that when a good deed is offered it goes unrecognized except to the holder of said thoughtfulness. ¬†But today I was so clearly given “a sign” when as I was leaving Wal-Mart…at the very precise moment I was pulling out of the parking lot…who should I see getting out of a new model Toyota car and planting himself, with cardboard sign and backpack in hand, on the curb? ¬†YOU! ¬†If I wouldn’t have had my kids in the car I would have stopped and given you a piece of my mind mister! ¬†You are a disgrace to the human race. ¬†It is people like you who prevent people who are in real need of help, ever getting any. ¬†You are the reason that so many people refuse to give even 5 cents to the “truly” homeless man living in a cardboard box on the street. ¬†Shame on you!