National Snowman Burning Day

Yep, you read that right folks…today is National Snowman Burning Day and I for one am SICK of winter.  Granted, in the following video, the woman doesn’t set the Snowman on fire but she clearly gets her point across.  I have watched this video at least a dozen times and laugh my ass off each and every time.

Because I for one can TOTALLY relate.

It seems like we have had snowfall upon snowfall since November.  And as much as I love the fact that so many water holes that had been empty are now full,  I am ready to put my swimsuit on and get in them, fish in them, boat on them, and camp by them,  rather than just look at them on the news or from the highway.

I am ready to soak up some vitamin D in which my body has been lacking the entire winter and I do believe has turned me into a psychopath an albino like zombie.  **sprays the self tanner on her skin**

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Now there have been a few days of this month that the weather has played with our heads.  It’s even gotten up to 70*F, even if it was for only one day.  But then the very next day it will be 32*F and snowing outside.

I don’t know whether to get the summer clothes out or just keep buying new winter clothes because my kids are all growing out of the stuff they have had since school started.  **thinks of just setting fire to anything that has to do with winter in hopes that it will bring some spring juju**

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And then there is that dreadful W word…no not winter…the other one.  W-I-N-D.  You wake up to see that the sun is peaking through the blinds and you jump out of bed to look outside only to find that your patio furniture is now upside down in a pile against the fence because the wind is blowing 60mph.

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And who wants to go out in that?

You can’t even fly a kite because the force of the wind will whip it right out of your hands.  Forget about doing your hair…even a messy bun can’t survive the brunt of those gail force winds.  The dust blows in your eyes, down your throat, and even into places you didn’t know dust could get into while being fully dressed.

Then there’s the dreaded “couped up indoors with the kids” syndrome.  You’ve pulled crafts off Pinterest, played 100 too many games of Sorry, and even done the unthinkable … MADE THEM CLEAN!

Motherhood mommy dearest winter
There actually isn’t any snow left in our yard right now so there won’t be any celebration of National Snowman Burning Day around here, but perhaps I could find a leftover stuffed one in the clearance isle at our local Wal-Mart and tell the kids we are trying out a new ritual to try and welcome spring.

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Burn you damn snowman…I want spring!
Cheers To Spring,

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30 Day Writing Challenge: Days 10 and 11

I am going to combine two days into one since I have fallen behind in this challenge and they are both topics that can blend together, weather and something unusual:

Well I would say that the weather we are having here in Winnemucca, NV has been completely unusual and unpredictable.  The landscaping is all blooming and I woke up to a chilling 20 degrees outside this morning. Not that 20 degrees is chilly to me of course…ever since I turned 40 I swear it’s like my internal thermostat is stuck on “sweating”.  I only turn on the heat in this house because I have little ones.  Otherwise I would have it at a constant 60 degrees.  And if my husband or the teenagers ever complained that it was cold…I would just tell them to put more clothes on or get a blanket.  “Cause if mama ain’t happy…she will make everyone’s lives a living hell ain’t nobody happy!”

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I don’t dare talk about the W word that was roaring like the 1920’s outside yesterday….shhhh!

Now I am a sunshine girl.  Love the sunshine, love all the things that come with summer…except…HOT weather.  I am not a fan of extremely hot which is funny since I lived in southern Nevada for over 20 years.  And people used to ask me, “How do you live in such extreme temperatures?”  Well that would be due to A/C and swimming pools of course.  Not that either of those would be available anymore during a zombie apocalypse but that’s what vodka and sleeping pills are for.

You’re probably now wondering if I was serious about that last statement…

The vodka and sleeping pills would be to feed the zombies of course…duh!

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Back to the weather being unusual…what a boring topic to write about  really.  Today it is sunny and beautiful outside and tomorrow’s forecast calls for rain and snow flurries.  Go figure.

This is how unpredictable it is…I just checked my weather app again and now it says just partly cloudy with a chance of meatballs for tomorrow…2 days ago it said rain and snow. Unpredictable and unusual…that is the weather.

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I Hate Days Like This

Every so often I have one of “these” days.  I swear I blame it on the W_I_N_D!  It starts from the time the little monsters rise and continues until bedtime!

First monster M woke up sometime around 5am with a tummy ache.  Any time my kids say they have a tummy ache I tell them to go sit on the toilet and try to poop.  9 times out of 10 the fact they have not pooped in the last 24 hours is reason behind the tummy ache.  So she wanders into my bathroom and I “think” I dosed back off to sleep…I am not sure because I swear it seemed like seconds later and she was yelling “Mommy! I’m done!”…pause…”Mommy! Do you hear me?!?!”  With one eye open I stumble to the bathroom to wipe said child’s ass.  Any other time of day she would have successfully wiped her own ass but because it’s 5am she wants me to do it. We wash hands and crawl back into bed… What seems like moments later, the morning alarm goes off.  Let the day of  crankies begin.

It starts with not being able to decide what we want for breakfast and then crying on the floor of the kitchen.  My Keurig wasn’t brewing that coffee fast enough I tell you.  I actually contemplated removing it half full and then finishing it off with vodka and Bailey’s.  I refrained.  She finally decided she didn’t want anything to eat and that she just wanted to lay on the couch with her blanket because she didn’t feel good.  Luckily my teenagers are home on spring break…did I just refer to that as lucky?…well I guess for today it was because I was able to just hop in the truck with monster B Man in tow and off to the preschool we went.

All was fine…until I got back home.  Another meltdown by monster M because she was upset that she didn’t go to school!  Trying to explain to a 3 year old why they should stay home when not feeling well is like trying to saw wood with a fingernail file.  By the time I got her convinced that it wasn’t the end of the world …it was time to pick monster B Man up again.

Nothing has gone right since waking up.  It’s been one meltdown after another.  I had to make a phone call to switch service with a company and they had me on the line for over half an hour.  Toddler nation just simply does not let mommy talk on the phone for even 1 minute let alone 30!

One Of These Days

Frustrated Momster,

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