Other People’s Kids

other peoples kids discipline

Before I became a mother, people used to always say “you’ll feel differently about your own kids than you do about other people’s kids”.  There couldn’t be a more truthful statement.

There was a time in my life that I never really wanted kids.  Partly because I couldn’t tolerate other people’s kids.  Sure I had plenty of friends with kids and there were times I would babysit and at one time I even had a friend and her child living with me.  I was around those kids a lot, got used to them, and grew to love them and understand their behaviors.  They were good kids.

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Then I would come across kids that weren’t so good.  Whether it was they whined too much, threw too many tantrums, talked back to their parents, or just seemed to not have any discipline WHAT. SO. EVER.  I used to dread when I would get a walk-in client and they had their kids with them (they were usually already throwing a tantrum before they even took a seat)  because inevitably this meant that it was going to take me twice as long to do my job.  Let’s face it, kids aren’t going to sit and be quiet for an hour while you get your nails done.

Now I know that my kids aren’t perfect, and probably get on most people’s nerves, as there are three of them and because they are so close in age they are usually all doing the same thing and making lots of noise while doing it.

And if someone were to tell me that my kids were a lot to handle, I would in no way be offended…I would most likely nod and agree.  But  I am used to them.  And usually have a tendency to get loud and obnoxious with them.  Because they are my kids.

I think that these days we live in a society that has us programmed that disciplining our kids is somehow going to f*ck them up in the head.  Bullshit.

There are people who think that spanking your kids on the ass is a form of abuse.  Bullshit.

There are too many people running around trying to be the “cool” parents instead of saying “NO” and dealing with their kids being pissed off at them.kids discipline productive citezens  Trust me, they will get over it and talking with your kids and explaining things goes a long way.

I think it’s important that when you feel your kids are old enough and mature enough to understand the evil in the world, to explain it to them.  I think my friend Michelle at Rockin Random Mom did that best and explained it in her post about the Brock Turner Story.

This story is a perfect example of a spoiled brat whose father I am quite certain reached deep into his pockets and placed a large amount of money in that greedy judge’s hands.  In case you have been living under a rock you can read about the story here.

It’s just one of the many articles stirring the internet these days.

I have heard people talk about how they teach their kids respect yet I watch them disrespect their parents and the parents sadly don’t correct the behavior. kids respect discipline parenting Teaching them please, thank you, yes sir, no ma’am is all great but if they are then acting out at you, the parent, and you aren’t correcting it, then it’s pretty much pointless.

If they are throwing a temper tantrum because you told them NO and you coddle them instead of taking action…guess what?  Your kid just might turn out to be the next Brock Turner.

Sometimes kids need to learn lessons and not have their parents always bailing them out of these situations.  When a child, whether that child be a toddler, young child, pre-tween, tween, or teenager and they do something wrong it’s our job as parents to correct the problem not ignore it and let them continue to believe it’s ok to behave that way.

And when they are good I also believe in rewarding good behavior.  It goes both ways.

Now please note that all these opinions of raising kids are those of my own and how you choose to raise your kids is completely up to you.  But remember, someday they are going to be adults, making choices, and the better influence you had on them the better adults they will become.

Well unless they are just born with a bad gene … because I do believe too, that some human’s brains are just wired differently and you could be the best parent possible and they could still be a part of the majority of messed up individuals living in society.  Take the Duggers of “19 Kids And Counting” as a perfect example of that.  Of course the first time I ever watched that show I knew that mother was just WAAAAAAY to happy.  No one has that many kids and is that happy.  Seriously.

To All The Good Parents Out There **salutes you**

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~Childhood Memory~

Today’s Daily Post writing prompt is entitled : “Childhood Revisitedchildhood memories daily writing prompt

childhood memories children friends

My childhood is bits and pieces stuffed away in my head.  It’s funny that there are some parts we remember and other parts we don’t.

I remember very little about my childhood before the age of 5.  I have been told some stories, but when your parents were divorced before you were even a year old, the stories are told by two different people and are two completely different stories.

I think for me the memories that stick with me most are the times my grandparents and I would travel from our home in Rock Springs, WY to the house in Salt Lake City, UT.  I loved that house.  Not because of the house but because of the little girl and her very large family that lived next door. Her name was Katie and she had like 10 brothers and sisters.

Their house was 4 stories and huge!  And I just remember that I wanted so much to just stay there because there was always so many kids and Katie and I were inseparable. Like as soon as my grandparents bright red old style cadillac would pull into the driveway I couldn’t get out of it fast enough and run to her house.  I was an only child and spent a lot of time by myself.  I longed for siblings my age.

Our favorite thing to do was play hide and seek in her house.  There were so many places to hide.   So many places to play.  And her family always made me feel like I was one of their own.

There was a huge park right next to her house if I remember correctly.  Or maybe it was her yard.  These memories are all around the age of 3-5.

We ended up moving to Las Vegas, NV after I finished kindergarten and my grandparents sold the house in Salt Lake, UT.  I tried to visit Katie one time later in my youth.  My dad had taken me by there to visit but she wasn’t home. She was away visiting somewhere if I remember correctly.  I still think of her from time to time and wonder how her life turned out.  I don’t have a last name.  I remember once while I was in Salt Lake I tried to find the house with no prevail.

But the memories of the fun we had remain imbedded in my head forever.

She was was not only my first real childhood memory but also my first childhood best friend.

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Love Who You Are Today

This morning I was listening to my morning Pandora radio as I was huffing and puffing along on the treadmill and I am not sure what the song was that came on but it was basically about being afraid of getting old and looking aged.  That there isn’t beauty in growing old.

Now I will agree that I get upset every time I see a new gray hair appear on my head or a laugh line on my face, especially since I usually have “resting bitch face” going on.  I have always tried to take good care of my skin since becoming a licensed aesthetician over 20 years ago.

 self confidence youth beauty 
 I lather on the sunscreen…sometimes I forget the other parts of my body but I always have it on my face.  I wear hats and sunglasses.  But the truth is that someday…if I am lucky enough to live a long healthy life…I am still going to look…old.

I can remember at a very early age having an issue about my body image.  I was a tall girl.  Taller than the majority of my friends and back then I didn’t appreciate it at all.  I wanted to be short.  I hated being the tall drink of water that entered a room.

Then around 8th grade my boobs started developing.  I remember being in the locker room and watching girls stuff tissue into their bras and all I could think was “why the fuck are you doing that?”  Cause I was over here trying to smash mine into a 2 sizes too small bra, then a sports bra, and then the biggest t-shirt or sweatshirt I could find.  I even tried duct taping them to my body once.  Yes no joke … But feel free to laugh because it hurt like hell taking it off.  Not the brightest moment of my teenage years.

I look at pictures of me now from when I was in high school and think to myself…wow you dumb girl…why didn’t you love yourself more…you had the body of a Victoria Secret’s model for fucks sake!

             

Ok I might be exaggerating a bit but just saying.   But as the years went on I was just never satisfied with the way my body was.  And now when I see pictures of myself from previous years I think…how come I didn’t think I was skinny enough or pretty enough?How come the majority of women are never satisfied with what they look like?  

I guess what I am trying to say is this…enjoy who you are…love yourself today…tomorrow you will be older…next year you might have gained a few pounds…have more gray hair…more laugh lines.  Especially you young teenage girls that I see on social media everyday complaining about how ugly and fat you are.  SHUT THE FUCK UP and love yourself because you will never be that age, in that moment, ever again.

I have more confidence now in my 40’s than I did in my teens and as ridiculous as that may sound…it’s true!   I no longer try to smash my boobs down and actually these days won’t buy a shirt that isn’t a v-neck.  I go to the gym not because I feel fat but because I want to feel healthier and have more energy.  Ok yeah, and I like to rock my jeans  feel better in my clothing.  I’d also like to take some boudoir pictures while my body still has elasticity to it. I encourage every woman to take some.  Put them in a keepsake box, make a calendar for your husband …hell do some hot pictures WITH your husband or boyfriend!  *By the way I am a photographer and would love to do a session of a couple…just putting that out there **grins**

 youth beauty confidence couples  
So ladies I say embrace the age you are and I believe there is beauty in every age and like I said before, if you are lucky enough to make it to old age embrace it because not everyone is lucky enough to get the chance.signature5

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My Random Musings